Hold me Because I'm Scared (Of Falling Apart)
by wellthizizdeprezzing
Summary: Omegaverse. High School AU. Emma is the soccer star. Regina is the preppy nerd. They barely tolerate each other but when their bodies start going through changes their complicated relationship takes an even more complicated turn. One that will change things between them forever. G!P Regina.
1. Chapter 1

**Hold Me Because I'm Scared (Of Falling Apart)**

**Chapter One: Nothing Hurts More**

_A/N: A prompt fic for an omegaverse with Alpha Regina, placed in a high school setting. Someone requested this about a year ago and I've only now been able to get around to writing it. Hope y'all enjoy and leave me any thoughts. _

Regina let out an aggrieved huff of air from between her pursed lips as she watched Emma's jaw work at a piece of gum. The woman was chewing like a damned cow and twirling a pencil between her fingers instead of working on the problem like Regina had told her too.

Regina had little patience for things, and she most certainly had little patience for one Emma Swan. The girl had graced the school with her pestering presence during the beginning of Regina's junior year and she had been a constant thorn in Regina's side ever since. As Storybrooke High's star pupil and reliable personality, Regina was often asked to do many things to make the school administration's life easier. One of those had been to tutor Emma because as one of her many duties around the school, Regina often tutored students who needed help.

But help was an understatement when it came to Emma. Did the blonde have an ounce of knowledge inside her head? All she thought about was soccer and food. The woman could put away entire meals in one sitting, not like Regina had watched her. The way she ate was quickly and with her arms guarding the trays as if protecting it from being stolen by anyone. And yet, she did not gain a single ounce, while Regina had to watch what she ate least she bloat like a whale. It must be all the exercise Emma got during matches.

Granted, Emma was good at soccer. The girl was a star forward, always found in the thick of the fray and with a solid head on her shoulders that would find her quickly working up to a team captain position. She had won the Storybrooke Bulldogs their third game of the fall season so far with trick shots and an always get up attitude. Her slim legs worked that ball fast, and she always had a look of intense concentration on her face that Regina never saw anywhere else. Not that she was watching. Never. She had more important things to do than ogle Emma.

Like studying for tests, completing her homework, and starting on applications to college. It was never too early to start and she had high goals of entering the best college in the states.

But it was hard to ignore Emma's looks. She had either the potential to be one of those pretty high school girls who were vapid and vain and ate other people alive for breakfast while they wore Gucci and toted unnecessarily small dogs in big bags. Or to be a star athlete, which she was. Her arms were toned and her skin a golden color like she had just come off a beach. Her hair was long and silky blonde and with princess curls that were natural. Her eyes were sea green and hard like she had seen some things.

Her lips never formed a smile unless she played soccer, donning the widest and most charming grin known to man kind when she scored a goal.

Alright, so maybe Regina looked a little. But how could she not when she was forced to be with this girl nearly everyday after school? Forced to put up with her annoying habits?

"You're never going to pass any classes if you keep up this work habit."

Emma shrugged. The casual attitude about this pissed Regina off because for her, she wouldn't accept anything less than a hundred in each of her classes.

"If you don't pick up your grades, you'll get kicked out of the team," Regina switched tactics.

Once more, Emma shrugged. "Coach won't do that. I'm his favorite player."

"True that may be, but he can't keep you in forever. Eventually the school board will find out and kick you out."

This time Emma's shrug was more hesitant, which Regina would take as a victory. "Therefore, do your work," she pressed.

Emma let out a low groan and leaned back into her chair, slinging an arm around the back of it. "This is so dumb. I hate it."

"It's only dumb because you don't get it. Now focus. What do you remember from class today?"

Emma rolls her eyes into the back of her head and lets out a low groan. "I don't even care about this. I only have like, two years to go of this prison before I make it out alive and am a free woman."

Regina is aghast. "Emma, are you not planning on going to college?"

Emma shrugs again. Regina feels a vein in her forehead throb. If that woman shrugs once more...never has she been so irritated with a human being before.

"No," Emma says leaning her head back so far she's looking up at the ceiling.

"How can you not want to go to college?"

"I'm dumb anyways, so what does it matter?"

"It matters because you need to get a job."

"I won't need one, I'll just be a soccer star."

Regina can't help it and lunges over the desk to pull the neck of Emma's shirt to her so the infuriating woman will look at her. For Regina, everything in life has being leading up to college. Every single important decision, determines her future. The most minute of plans, of actions, of details, were formed, with college in mind.

How Emma doesn't see the importance of college is beyond her. Emma is forced to look at Regina, though her eyes are bored, even as her hands twitch with the warning that if Regina doesn't let go soon, she's going to end up with a black eye like many of those who bothered Emma before.

"And how do you think you'll become a soccer star if you don't go to college? No one drafts a player from high school."

"Well," Emma says, removing Regina's hands none too gently. "I'll be the first one." She flashes a cocky grin and Regina sits back down, letting out a harsh sigh. The audacity of this girl! The smug arrogance! She cannot deal with her. She's going to make Regina's blood pressure rise.

She'll ask her teacher to switch her out. To give Swan another tutor. They've wasted half an hour already and Emma has only done three questions out of the twenty assigned for homework. Regina begins to pack up her stuff, which makes Emma raise an eyebrow.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" Emma asks, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

"Packing up. We are _done_ here, Emma. Go dribble a ball or whatever it is jock heads like you do for fun," Regina states crossly.

Something like panic flashes on Emma's face and were Regina not busy hastily putting away her things into her neat backpack, she would have noticed it.

"I didn't take you for a quitter," Emma said softly, but with a challenge behind her eyes.

"I'm not. This isn't me quitting. There's nothing to quit over when you're nothing," Regina snaps out harshly and alright, that might have been a low blow when she sees Emma sag into the seat.

"You're not the first one whose told me that," Emma says in a subdued voice. Her eyes glaze over as she thinks about something in the past.

But Regina's too upset to take back her words and she leaves Emma there at the desk, with her book still open in an empty classroom.

* * *

Emma's always had a type. And that type happens to not like her type. She can't help it, however. It's just how her body works.

She doesn't expect to find anyone she likes in her new school. She's just arrived here and she hates the place. It's so cheery. So preppy. And the principal Mary is so happy and full of hope and naivety about this world that Emma just wants to punch the smile off of her face.

She hates the uniform too. She doesn't like skirts, detests them, and boycotts it by wearing the pants to the boy's uniform. She lets her shirt hang out of her pants. She doesn't button it up all the way. And she rolls one pants leg up and leaves the other down.

They know better than to bother her on how she dresses by now. No matter what they do to her, she doesn't care. Especially not her fists which sometimes crack at the knuckle after she's hit too many snotty nosed idiots.

She's here on scholarship. Not like it matters. Her grades were always decent, but it's her soccer skills that got her in. It's her passion. All the aggression she feels, the sadness, the loneliness, it all just melts away. On the field all she can focus on is the adrenaline coursing through her veins, propelling her to the goal.

Nothing in the world- no famine, no war, not even the idea of not knowing what's for dinner today- doesn't matter. She loves the feel of sport. It's so freeing. Wind through her hair, sweat dripping down her face, the ache of bruised legs. And the roar of the crowd going wild as she makes it in.

She's good friends with the girls on the soccer team. And with a few of the boys. The kids who aren't that smart and who aren't that rich. All scholarship kids like her.

But of course she can't fall for one of them. She likes Regina. Regina Mills, who is the most perfect perfectionist anyone has ever seen. Her clothes are pressed so stiff Emma wonders how she breathes in them. They follow the school regulation code, with their knee high socks, plaid gray skirt, buttoned up white shirt, all gleaming with how clean it is, and her navy blazer with all the pins and badges she has earned by being the teachers little pet.

Regina's hair is perfectly coiffed and only to her chin. Emma's never seen it a mess or even an inch longer. Regina's always got a smile on her face and she speaks like an old woman, her speech so grand and with such big words.

Even her notebooks are neat, put together. With little stickers and highlighters and tight handwriting. She's got everything in her life planned out. She knows where she's going. Emma doesn't. She's fumbling in the dark, been trying to find the light switch for the past damn ten years in hopes it would enlighten things. No luck in finding it yet. Though she doesn't blame herself. She's doing the best she can when no one cares about her.

She's an orphan plain and simple and even though she's been placed in foster homes over the years, she's never really bonded with her 'family' and nor they with her. She just keeps out of the way, helps when she can around the house, and does her best not to be home.

She's had a few bad houses and she will never learn to trust the system, ever.

So far this family- a man and woman who are both artists and travel the world often- haven't been around enough for her to see their bad sides. But they trust her in the house and even with money, so they mustn't be all bad, just eccentric.

Sometimes Emma will fantasize what it must feel like to have a loving family. To find out who her real parents are. To be a superstar athlete. To taste Regina's lips and to mess up her perfect hair. But she'll never have her and she knows. Still, it's fun to bother her.

Emma goes out of her way to blow spitballs at her, or make funny faces at her, or even scare her when she's coming down the hall. It's all very juvenile. But she's only still a kid, and it makes Regina pay attention to her.

Plus, the little scrunchy face she makes when she's all angry but trying not to ruin her perfect reputation in front of her clique of friends or the staff, makes it hilarious. Emma does wonder from time to time why it's Regina she wants and not any of the other preppy nerd girls, and it must be because she's so far from what Emma's life is like, that if Emma could have her, it would be like a reassurance that everything would be okay.

Also, her ass in that skirt.

Enough said.

But maybe Emma's taken things a bit too far. She's been sort of failing her work so that she could get placed on tutoring with Regina. Emma's not dumb so her grades shouldn't be C's. But Regina doesn't know that and boy, those words- being called nothing? It hurts coming from a crush.

She's wanted to see what lay beyond Regina's mask of perfection and she got it. Something nasty. It hurts her deep and makes her want to prove to Regina now more than ever that she's not just some stupid underclass man sophomore, but a smart individual. Instead of her usual B's, she's aiming for A's.

And she hadn't foreseen the fact she might get kicked off the team if she continued this. It was certainly time to turn things around. And maybe she'd stop annoying Regina and actually try to be civil to her.

Ruby had mentioned that nobody got dates by acting childish to their crushes. Maybe if Emma wanted to actually have a decent chance she needed to actually try and drop this casual attitude. It was meant to protect her and her heart from getting broken but in this case, it had only hurt her, making Regina dislike her.

And Emma was sure she could be a charmer. She already had many admirers, both boys and girls, over her skills on the field. She could knock the socks off of anyone if she so much as smiled.

"You're really getting serious, aren't you Swan?" Ruby asks as they sit on the bleachers, slurping on slushies. It's night time but the field is bright, always lit up no matter what. It's kinda like a light switch; maybe that's why Emma can always find her way on the field. It's off the field where it's dark that she has so much issue.

"Yea. I've never had luck with her type of girl, but hell, you know what, I might as well try this time," Emma said, slurping loudly and obnoxiously.

Ruby shook her head. "You complain about all these girls never liking you, when you never really asked them out in the first place? Unbelievable."

Emma shrugged. "I asked one or two out but they all laughed at me. So then I just crushed from the distance."

"You got to be persistent. Especially with a tight ass like Regina. She's stubborn. And so can you, but in all the wrong ways."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you're stubbornly refusing to accept that fact that you're a catch Swan and that you might actually have a chance if you put yourself out there." She pulled up Emma's jersey. "Look at this. You've got abs. How many teens have got that?"

Emma swatted Ruby's hand away.

"Regina's not into looks."

"Are you kidding me? She's super vain, always making sure her hair is in the right place or that her clothing is clean enough. She judges people's looks and you're hot."

"But she might not be gay!" Emma protested and now she was beginning to psyche her own self out. It was one thing to annoy Regina because of her crush-it was safe and Regina wouldn't ever suspect she did it because she had feelings for her- but to openly do it, and then be mocked for it? Only a handful of people at this school knew Emma's preferences and two of those were girls she had slept with from the soccer team. It had only been a couple one night stands and there was no bad blood between them. But they didn't say anything because this school environment wasn't the most accepting.

"Look, I'm not saying roll up to her and just start openly spouting declarations of undying love. Get close to her. Be her friend and then find out what she likes."

"Ugh, that sounds like so much work," Emma complained, rolling her arms behind her head and lying down, letting the metal bite into her back.

"Do you like her or not, because now I'm confused," Ruby said, finished with her drink and grabbing the one Emma had left unfinished by her.

"I'm...I'm just scared," Emma said, looking up at the sky, at the stars which should be there but were blocked by the light pollution of the field.

"You don't have anything to be scared of. Think of this as a soccer game. You're in the long game now and you need to utilize different strategies to get her."

"I'm going to do better on my homework to impress her."

"That's a start. But try to use the sessions to talk to her more," Ruby finished Emma's drink and mimicked her position. "Operation Love struck moron."

Emma frowned. "I'm not a moron."

"No. You're just love struck. Regina's the moron if she doesn't fall for you." And Ruby meant it, because she had been one of those girls to sleep with Emma and though they were good in bed together they were even better as friends and Ruby was defensive of her best friend.

* * *

"I'm so like, sorry that you are stuck with Emma," groaned Kathryn, fluttering her lashes dramatically. She, Regina, Maleficent, Cruella, and Ursula were sitting having lunch together. Lunch, consisting of sad salads that left an iron like taste in Regina's mouth. Or that could be from the way she chewing on the inside of her cheek.

She was mulling over what she had said to Emma. What she had called her. Frankly, she was raised to do better. To be better. She shouldn't let an idiot like Emma provoke her. She needed to go and apologize for her behavior. She couldn't have it leaking out to some teachers that she had been rude. She didn't want college to learn about this and to strike her off their records.

"She's the worst," Ursula agreed, spearing a tomato with too much gusto and almost splattering its innards all over Mal's white sweater that lay on top of her button up.

"You should ask administration to drop her from your tutoring schedule. You're their little darling, they'll have to listen," Mal said, stirring a spoon through her apple sauce.

"I do not like giving up on those less gifted," Regina said to them. "It would reflect badly on me if I just gave up. The school would think I could not do it, and I do not need that."

"But are her low grades and lack of progress not reflecting badly on you already?" Cruella suggested and Kathryn gasped out, hands to her face. "Oh dear, that is bad!" Kathryn always was melodramatic, but she was refreshing against the back drop of the others in the friend group who all spoke stiffly and sounded like suburban moms. They styled their hair like them too. All short cut bobs just in different colors. It was almost like they were trying to copy Regina's coiffed look but come off as too different to be called a copy cat.

She found their mimicry flattering but she didn't need it. In fact, she wouldn't have minded if they had their own opinions or hobbies that did not involve around her. It just felt odd after a while.

"We shall see. I shall change her yet," Regina promised, and she had no idea how true her words would become. Except it wouldn't just apply to grades, but other more personal matters.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hold me Because I'm Scared (Of Falling Apart)**

**Chapter Two: Than If**

_A/N: Updates after this chapter are gonna be every other Tuesday. Hope ya enjoy the story :)_

Regina arched a curious brow as she watched Emma diligently doing the work right in front of her. They were in afterschool tutoring and though Regina had opted to call quits on Emma soon, the blonde did improve her behavior. She was actually doing her work and trying to be on her best behavior. Which entirely caught Regina off guard.

She didn't know what to make of the blonde except to continue to teach her, watching as the blonde answered with correct responses and showed off intellect that Regina hadn't known was there. It made her suspicious to say the least. What game was Emma playing at now? Was it something else to piss Regina off? Just in the short run?

She glared as Emma did practice problems, the blonde's lips moving silently as she worked out some mental math. The eraser on her pencil was chewed up in exertion of thought and she looked so intently focused that Regina was sure Emma wouldn't feel her staring.

"Do I have something on my face?" she asked without looking up and Regina startled, not expecting this.

"No," she said slowly, sitting back in her seat, deliberating on what she should say. "It's just weird to see you doing your work for once," she settled on the truth.

"I am smart, you know. Maybe not as much as you, but I've still got some knowledge in my noggin," Emma tapped the pencil to her head, looking up now, her green eyes so intent on Regina it made her uncomfortable. And slightly guilty. "Look, about what I said yesterday..."

"It's okay," Emma stopped her before she could continue. "It's whatever."

"No, it's not," Regina's lips twist up. She was raised better and so she would apologize. "I shouldn't have said that. I was upset with you and I hurt your feelings because of it."

"Seriously, it's alright," Emma urged, green eyes still so intent on Regina. "I was goofing off and wasting your time." Then, in a bold move that surprised Regina, Emma leaned forward and put her hand on Regina's which was resting on the desk top across from Emma.

Regina wasn't expecting this touch, the gentle weight of Emma's hand or the suddenness of it. It froze her as she was indecisive about what next to do. Should she pull her hand back? Let it rest there? Before she could decide, Emma noticed the way Regina's eyes had flickered to the casual touch and pulled it back. "I'm going to get serious from now on. I hope we can get along."

"Get along?" comes out of Regina's flabbergasted mouth with more vitriol than she intends. Emma's hand had been warm and surprisingly soft for an athlete.

"Yea," Emma blinks. "Friends."

"What gives you the idea we can be that when you've been so annoying to me for so long?" Regina scowls because she's never taken Emma for the type to want to be friends with her. Regina's a prep, Emma's an athlete. They're both famous in their own right but on opposite ends of the spectrum. Emma's got rabid fangirls and fanboys, and Regina's got admirers.

Emma looks momentarily speechless at this. "I um...it's how me and my friends treat each other. So, I was just being friendly to you."

Regina scowls at this. "if that's how you treat your friends, then I wish to not be one of them."

Emma's eyes bug out. It seems this conversation is not going the way it's meant to. "No, I don't mean- I mean- like don't you and your friends tease each other?"

"No," is the solid, short answer.

Emma deflates a bit. "I guess then that might explain our miscommunication."

"There _was_ no communication, you simply were rude to me on multiple occasions."

"Then I won't be. I'll stop my friendly teasing so that we can get along better."

Regina doesn't see the point in getting along better with Emma. Emma can't offer her anything. Mother always said to make relationships based on benefits. Regina's current friend group come with many advantages. Ursula's dad owns several oil rigs, Cruella has connections to the fashion world and has modeled, Kathryn has a rich politician daddy, and Mal may not be as rich as the others but she can ruin people's whole livelihoods if she must.

These relationships could all come in handy on Regina's rise to success. Emma, Emma is an orphan who can kick a ball real good and that's it. So what if she's got good looks. Doesn't mean it will further Regina's means.

Regina opens her mouth to as kindly as possible turn Emma down when the bell rings. Tutoring is over. It seems talking made time fly by. Regina rises gracefully to her feet and smooths down her skirt. "I have another student to get to. Good evening." She grabs her purse and leaves, Emma mumbling a dejected good bye.

* * *

"So, how did it go?" Ruby asks as the two of them sit on a park bench, slurping on slushies loudly. Ruby's got a skateboard under one foot and is rolling it absentmindedly as Emma looks dourly at the shrubs in front of her.

"Eh," is her answer.

"I don't know what the means. You'll have to enlighten me," Ruby adds.

"I...worked hard during tutoring and told her I wanted to be her friend but she sorta shot me down," Emma said.

"What do you mean by that?"

Emma quickly replayed the conversation and Ruby frowned as she analyzed it. "Well, you kinda were a brat to her. So give her some time. She's not going to change her expectations of you just because you acted nice one day."

Emma scowled into her slushie. "Man, past me was a dumb ass."

"Isn't she always?" Ruby asked and Emma slugged her playfully in the arm.

* * *

"I wanna know more about you."

Regina is not expecting this from Emma, but she doesn't lose a beat. "-and then you add the two here and you're done with the problem."

"I don't know much about you." Emma's not even paying attention to the math. Was Regina just talking to the air and wasting her breath?

"I'm sure it's not hard to find something out. I am popular," Regina says in monotone to denote how interested she is in this conversation. Which is to say, none at all.

"I want to know personal things about you."

"And I want you to finish your equations."

"I will. How about this?" Emma sat up eagerly, a deal forming in her mind that no doubt Regina would not care for. "I do one and you tell me something about yourself."

"How about no." Regina said flatly. She didn't have time for games.

Emma didn't seem deterred. "Alright then, I'll just tell you one fact about myself each time I finish one."

"I don't quite care to learn about you, Emma," Regina said seriously. Regina didn't have time for such things even if she did know a tiny part of her was curious to know about Storybrooke's biggest hot shot.

"Maybe you should," Emma leaned in, cocky smirk on her face. Regina wanted to wipe it off. It was so damn infuriating. "A lot of people would be grateful for the chance."

"Hm, sure. Grateful to talk to a player who ate grass."

Regina was referring to Emma's recent match in which an opponent tripped her badly and made her literally eat grass. She still had marks down her front from that experience. "Ah, so you watched the game? I didn't know you did. That's nice."

Regina sputters a bit here. "I don't- I don't care about your matches!"

"But you watch them. Which is good enough to me," Emma concluded on and Regina fumed on the inside. Emma was so arrogant and annoying!

"Just focus on your work or you won't be returning to the field anytime soon if the coach is forced to kick you off the team because of your abysmal grades."

Emma rolls her eyes. "Won't happen. I'll be picking up my grades so you don't have to worry about not seeing me on the field. You can gawk at me all you'll like."

Regina frowns. She knows she should be civil but with Emma it's hard to. "I hope you eat grass next match too!"

"I eat more than grass," Emma winks but the double meaning behind it Regina doesn't want to waste time dwelling on. "Do your work!" she nearly growls out and Emma huffs but relents. She's quickly working on her work when ten minutes later, she opens up her mouth again. "You should come see my match."

"No, thank you," Regina says forcefully.

"If I really bother you, what better chance than to yell and boo at me?" Emma offers.

"I am refined. I don't engage in that sort of stuff," Regina states primly.

"Yea, but it's a match. No one will care if you do." To sweeten the deal, Emma leans in. "I'll get you front row seats."

Regina's brow furrows in slight confusion. "They're first come first serve basis."

"It was a joke," Emma huffs.

"Not a funny one."

"I'd like to see you make a better one."

Regina doesn't rise to the challenge. "Work, Emma," she growls out and Emma sighs in exasperation but lowers her head and does so.

* * *

Regina ends up going to the co-ed soccer game, but only because the new boy Mal is dating is a soccer player. "I normally wouldn't go for his type, but his family is rich and he's handsome." There is no doubt about his looks. He's got a dimpled smile and wavy brown hair. The whole group coo over him and Regina pretends to be invested too. He is good looking but she doesn't care much for him. She doesn't have time for boys or romance. Work comes first.

Besides, no one in this school is good enough. At least mother drills this into her head every time she can get a chance to.

Regina sits down on the bleachers. They're cold despite it only being early fall. She's got stockings under her skirt and is bundled up in an expensive scarf. Her friends mirror her look. They sit in a middle row and watch as the game unfolds. They haven't the slightest idea on soccer but pretend they do. All they've really come to do is gander at Mal's new boy toy. He's fast on the field. But not as fast as Emma.

She zooms across, dribbling the ball with expertise, hair bobbing behind her. There's no questions, she's good. And everyone on her team knows it. They hand her the ball every time the goal is near and more often than not, Emma makes it in, getting the team easily three points. Regina loses herself in the game, finding herself enjoying it despite the lack of knowledge on it.

She cheers for her team when they score as the girls next to her talk about cute boys. "Regina, which one do you think is cute?"

Regina shakes her head. "I'm not sure." She hadn't been paying attention to the others. She scans her eyes over them quickly, picking the first best choice of the opposing team. "He looks nice."

"I was thinking the same," Kathryn gushes. "Do you think I can get his number after the game?"

"I'm sure you can do whatever you put your mind to," is Regina's answer.

Soon, the game ends and the players are heading off the team. Emma's team won, naturally, and there's going to be lots of celebrations. Emma looks to the bleachers and her eyes lock in on Regina's. _Don't come here_, Regina panics but Emma is, and Regina is too dignified to run away. So she grins and bears it.

"You came," Emma utters breathlessly, looking all sweaty and yet alive. She's got her hands on her hips, arm muscles bulging, shirt clinging tightly to her skin. Her hair is up in a ponytail and her face is flushed from adrenaline and exercise.

She looks...breathtaking in this moment and for once, Regina could ignore how annoying Emma normally is.

"Yes, I did," Regina says dryly, picking at the ends of her scarf. "But not for you. I came because my friend group and I are supporting Mallory's boyfriend, William."

Emma doesn't seem thrown by this. "Still nice to see you here. Did you get a chance to hurl insults at me?"

Regina can't help it. She openly scoffs. "Like I said, I barely even noticed you at all."

"Ah, how you flatter me. Next time I'll make sure to kick the ball into the stand where you're sitting so you'll notice me more."

"Do that and you'll sorely regret it," Regina threatens not lightly. Regina now recognizes this as Emma's teasing her in a benign manner. Regina's not used to this sort of banter. It's typical Emma fashion: grating and confusing and it makes Regina unsure of herself when she's never been unsure before.

"Oh yea?" Emma asks, lifting her shirt up to wipe at the sweat dripping down her face. Regina's eyes flicker down out of curiosity and she notices the six pack Emma has going on. How unfair. "And what will you do to me?" the blonde asks, dropping the shirt and Regina's attention snaps upwards. All the players have walked off and Regina is aware her friends are finishing off their conversation with William to her side. Mallory and William are sharing a kiss.

"I have to go," Regina finished on, feeling a flush rise to her face. She gets up and not even saying good bye, she leaves, not turning to see Emma's reaction to her doing so.

* * *

The music is blaring and people are dancing, but Emma's not in the mood despite the big win of today.

"Em, don't be such a grump." Ruby slings a sticky arm around Emma. She's hot and sweaty from dancing and gyrating like crazy. She takes an uncoordinated swig from her solo cup.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. And it's about Regina."

Emma rolls her eyes.

"See, I knew it was about her." Ruby is drunk. Everyone on the soccer team at this party is. Except Emma. "Just loosen up. Have some fun. And go sleep with Merida. She's making eyes at you the whole night."

Ruby points not so discreetly where Merida is not so discreetly checking Emma out.

Fuck it, maybe Emma should sleep with her. Merida's nice and it has been a while since Emma got any. She chugs her beer in one go and crushes the can, tossing it to the side, striding up to Merida, who smiles.

Ruby watches the two of them interacting before she goes to find her own lay of the night.

* * *

Emma knows Regina won't be easy to crack but she's not going to give up. She's never really tried to get with the girls she's liked and for once, she wants to make an attempt. Ruby supports her a hundred percent. And gives great advice. If they weren't such good friends, Emma would have dated Ruby. But it's the fact they can get along as friends that makes Emma not interested in her. Emma always liked the types who found her annoying. She doesn't know why this is, but it's how her biology works.

Speaking of biology, Emma's wondering when her's will kick in. High school is a confusing time already, but this is also the time when presentation happens. Emma knows, given her body, she'll either be an omega or a beta. Definitely not an alpha, unless she magically sprouts a dick one night. She doesn't know how she feels about this. Omegas don't have the best rights or treatment in their society. Being a beta would be better and Emma crossed her fingers and hoped this is what will happen. She should be presenting soon and she hopes it happens after her season is over so she won't have to miss any days because of heats. From what Emma has learned of heats and ruts, they're rough, which is why there are pills and patches to help with them.

Ruby is excited about all this where Emma is nervous.

"I wouldn't mind being an omega," she claims.

"Why?" Emma is shocked. Ruby isn't the meek type. Why would she want to submit to others?

Ruby shrugs. "All that sexual appeal, man. I'd be getting tail for days."

"Yea, but as an omega, we're expected to pair up with an alpha. Those are men."

"Not all. They're are some female alphas out there," Ruby counters.

Emma narrows her eyes, confused. "But you're gay. That means not liking dick."

"Yea, but if she's the one, she's the one, ya know? Our biology picks our mates, not us."

Emma scowls and contemplates this. "Biology sucks, man."

"It does," Ruby says lightly and flicks the cigarette she was smoking off the school stoops. They've cut class long enough. Emma wants to improve her grades and her reputation with Regina so she needs to go back.

As she wanders back, saying good bye to Ruby as they go to their respective classes, she can't help but ruminate on Ruby's earlier point. Could, Emma if she was an omega, love an alpha? There was no such thing as an alpha without a cock. Emma didn't really like them and she couldn't imagine herself sleeping with someone who had one. But if perhaps a woman had one? Could she do it then? She found she wasn't outright overwhelmed by the idea of doing so.

But it was too early to think on things. She still had time until she presented.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: I Cannot**

"You don't look so good," Emma comments in worry, as she watches the brunette in front of her. Regina's cheeks are flushed and her eyes droop downwards as if they were weighted. On Emma's words they flick upwards, disapproval in them.

"You're rude."

Of course this would be Regina's reaction. Always so prickly on everything Emma says or has to say. "I didn't mean it that way," Emma explains, twirling her pen on her fingers, the chemistry in front of her forgotten in favor of a different type of chemistry. "You always look good, even now. You just...you look like you're sick." And then before Regina can stop her, Emma bursts out of her seat and touches Regina's forehead.

Regina reels back and slaps Emma's intrusive hand away.

"You're burning up," Emma states, settling back down, none the least phased by Regina's sharp response to her touch. "I think you might have a fever. Did you spend the whole day with it?"

"It's just a fever. I'll be fine," Regina says resolutely.

"Jesus, Regina. No, you won't be fine. You need to get medicine. Go visit the nurse so she can give you something!" Emma is appalled by Regina's lack of concern for her own health!

"I'm fine," Regina stresses. "I don't need you butting in. Besides, I have too many things to do still. I can't go home yet."

How hard headed can Regina be? Emma thought she was bad, but Regina was worse. Emma cared about Regina's health but she couldn't continue upon this trend without Regina growing suspicious about how much Emma cared. "Whatever, be like that," Emma mumbles out, flicking her pen cap off.

"Stay out of my private business," Regina retorts, but even her insults are lacking their usual strength because she's too sick.

So, it's no surprise when Emma finds Regina leaning against the wall heavily in the girl's bathroom about an hour later when school is in the after school sessions. Regina looks barely awake and Emma can't take it. Regina can hate her later all she likes, but Emma cares for her and won't let her do this to herself.

She swoops in and sweeps Regina into a bridal carry position before the brunette can even register what is happening.

Regina lets out an indignant shriek. "Unhand me right now!" she shrills, already knowing it's Emma despite being out of it for the most part.

"No," Emma says as Regina weakly struggles but then gives up, dissolving into a coughing fit. "I'm taking you to the nurse. You can berate me all you want later but not now." And Emma carries Regina out of the bathroom like she weighs nothing. Thankfully the halls are empty since everyone is either in a classroom or outside and they arrive unimpeded at the nurse's office.

The nurse's eyes bulge out when they see Regina and Emma.

"What happened?" the nurse got out of her seat, confused and worried.

"She's got a fever and was feeling weak," Emma states, putting Regina down on the bed the nurse pointed to. "But she refused to come here so I had to bring her because she got worse."

The nurse tsked at Regina in reprimand. "You foolish girl. Don't you know how dangerous to work yourself hard on a fever is?"

Regina said nothing to this, remaining tight lipped as the nurse went about to get some fever medication, water, and a wet towel. Emma stayed nearby, watching Regina with concern in her eyes. The nurse did her magic and soon Regina was medicated and tucked under the covers. When the nurse retreated and pulled the curtain around them to give Regina some privacy and quiet, Emma stayed.

"Going to make fun of me?" Regina asked, drowsy from the illness and from being medicated. Her cheeks looked paler and her eyes less shiny.

"No, I'm not," Emma stated, crossing her arms across her chest. "Why would you think that?"

"Because you caught me being imperfect," was the subdued answer.

"Regina...no," Emma assured softly, sitting down in the chair next to Regina's bed. Emma knew she was missing out on practice but hopefully coach would understand. "Not everyone's out to get you, not everyone cares about that. Humans make mistakes. Humans get sick. I won't tell anyone you got sick if it makes you feel better."

"It would," Regina concludes on and Emma can't help but wonder what sort of parents Regina has that demand this of her.

"Do your parents demand perfection of you? Do they make you...act the way you do?" Emma questions, curious.

Regina must be really out of it, because there's candor in her voice as she snuggles deeper into the pillows. "My mother is like that. She's really strict and demanding. And punishing if I get something wrong. My dad...he's kind but he never stands up to my mother and just caves into doing whatever it is she wants. And yet, neither of them are ever home. And sometimes...sometimes I think if I just do a little better, work a little harder...then they'll come back to see me and be happy for me."

Emma could feel her heart fall a bit. That sounded rough. Who knew the perfect princess of Storybrooke High had an unpleasant home life?

"I'm...my parents are never home either," Emma confessed, feeling like since Regina had shared, so should Emma. "But that's no shock. They adopted me out of the system and I'm just grateful to have a home. They're pretty chill, don't demand much from me. But it would be nice for them to actually be around." Emma's too used to being alone. It shouldn't hurt but it does. She craves that human contact.

"Hm," Regina grunts, her eyes already closed. Within seconds her chest is rising up and down gently. Emma smiles, seeing how cute Regina looks asleep like this. She gets up and goes back to practice, happy in knowing Regina is feeling better.

* * *

Regina wakes up disoriented. She's on a bed that's not hers, in a place that is not her room. She panics and flails under the white sheets before her memories flood back. Emma, carrying her here. Emma, making sure she's okay. And Emma's strong arms wrapped around her, her body soft and warm and smelling so sweet. Emma had carried Regina protectively.

Regina's chest clenches with an emotion she hasn't felt in a long time. Tenderness.

Damn Emma Swan for making her feel it. And damn Emma for caring. Regina was fine. She could handle a little fever. But now, she had spilled some of her worst insecurities to Emma. She had made herself vulnerable, less than perfect, and all to that one infuriating blonde.

She couldn't let that stand! She had to find the blonde and explain away that she had been drowsy. That none of it was true. She pulled the covers off, finding herself feeling much better than before.

The nurse heard her and came to check up on her. She had an electric thermometer in her hand and she scanned Regina's forehead with it. "Much better. Make sure you get some more rest when you go home."

"I will, thank you," Regina said though there would be no rest. She had college applications to look at and to finish. The deadlines were fast approaching and she had about a week to complete them all. Not to say she hadn't already but she was editing them.

Afterschool is ending soon, Regina having taken a long one hour nap. She is on a mission to find Emma, ready to give the woman a piece of her mind. She finds the blonde exiting the locker rooms and they almost collide into one another if Emma's hand on Regina's stomach didn't steady her.

"Oh, Regina!" Emma is all smiles, happy to see her. Her hair is damp from the showers and she smells vaguely of vanilla. She shoulders the duffel bag up higher. "Glad to see you up and on your feet."

Regina backs away, Emma's hand slipping away from her. "Yes. Thank you, I suppose for meddling in my personal affairs."

Emma's smile doesn't waver. Regina clears her throat, nervous to breech the next topic. "I also want you to know, what I said under the duress of illness is not true. I'm very happy at home."

Now Emma's smile does waver. "Regina, it's okay to not always have this perfect image-"

"I said I'm _happy_. I don't have any issues," Regina cuts in coldly. Her eyes are flinty now as her heart pounds in her chest. She watches as Emma's shoulders droop, the woman fighting an inside battle. "Okay, sure," Emma settles on at last, not entirely sure of her words.

"Good," Regina nods her head stiffly. And then walks away.

* * *

A new distance arises between Emma and Regina. It's as if because Regina had opened up to Emma about something too private that now Regina had to compensate by being extra nasty. And it irked Emma, because she thought there had been progress. Apparently she was wrong.

"So just fuck out your frustrations with Merida," Ruby suggests as they're in the school gym on a wintery school afternoon. It's cold outdoors but it's hot here, Emma working up a good sweat as she keeps her body in peak form. The soccer season may be ending soon, but that doesn't mean Emma gets any time off from the gym.

Emma scowls at Ruby, careful to keep her voice low because Merida is on the other side of the gym. She's always here now whenever Emma is around. It's kind of flattering but also annoying at the same time. "I'm not interested in her like that."

"You don't have to be. You both can just be sex buddies."

Emma grunts as she lifts a weight and then puts it down. She gives Ruby a glare. "Then I'll feel like I'm using her."

"But you are. For good sex. Unless it was bad?" Ruby inquires.

Emma shrugs. "It was...alright."

"Really?" Ruby shrills a bit. "I heard red heads were crazy in bed! And she's so boisterous on the field!"

"Boisterous?" Emma gives Ruby a curious look now, because that is not language Ruby would ordinarily use. "You been hanging around Belle?"

Ruby flushes, but tries to brush this off as nothing. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Emma grins widely. Oh, she's got Ruby now. "You know she's straight, right?" Belle's the local nerd at their school. Smart, demure, and with a subdued beauty. She doesn't show off her talents and mainly keeps to herself and to the library.

"Supposedly. And so is Regina," Ruby counters, avoiding Emma's eyes.

"Supposedly," Emma mirrors and smiles. Ruby always makes fun of Emma's crushes. It's nice to do the same to Ruby once in a while. "Let's talk about you and Belle."

"No, we're supposed to be talking about you and Regina and Merida," Ruby states.

"Don't deflect. I know you've been hanging out with her. I've heard the rumors. But I never knew it was because you liked her!"

Ruby flushes even more red, eyes going wide. "Emma, shut up!" Ruby warns and Emma only laughs.

* * *

Emma knows Regina can't avoid her forever and so she decides to give Regina some time. She waves to her in the hallway, talks to her during their tutoring sessions. And eventually, Regina loosens up. "What are you doing for Christmas," Emma asks Regina.

The brunette pauses, deliberating how much she can tell Emma. "My parents are coming back for New Years, so I'll probably go over to Mal's house for the holiday."

"My parents are coming back for the week we have off. But..." at this Emma got a random idea. "If you want a family Christmas, we'd be more than happy to welcome you." This offer turns out to be a bad idea because Regina's face shuts down.

"No, thank you."

"Right," Emma can't help but feel a bit hurt. Regina had so many walls up, it was hard to tell when Emma might hit one. Dejectedly she turns back to her work.

Tomorrow is the last day of class and Emma thinks she may just give herself an early Christmas present and go home instead of class. She keeps to that plan, Ruby arriving at her house later instead of going to class either and the two of them drink some beers Ruby's college friend got her and smoke in the backyard.

They talk shit, throw snow at each other, and then order a shit ton of pizza and watch movies. Ruby leaves at three in the morning and Emma cleans up the house because her parents will be coming tomorrow morning.

She hasn't seen them in a while and she misses them, despite them not being her real parents. She got them some small gifts and hopes they like them. It's going to be Emma's first holiday with family and she doesn't want to be too hopeful because she knows foster kids like her don't normally get nice holidays or nice things.

Her parents also explicitly told her they don't celebrate this holiday but that they want to do a family dinner, watch goofy films, and then exchange presents, so Emma's hoping it all goes well tomorrow. She tries to put out of her mind how she failed at asking Regina to come over. The two of them may be on talking terms now but they don't ever hang out unless it's homework related. Unless...Emma comes up with some nerdy thing that Regina might like. Like a museum or something. Belle might have some ideas.

Emma will talk to her later.

* * *

"Regina, darling, it's so nice to see you," Mal's mother opens the door and gives air kisses to Regina as the brunette stands on the door step, bearing gifts for the family. Expensive gifts. Nothing less is acceptable as mother says, appearance are important even if they have to be faked.

"Good to see you too, Ms. Drake," Regina smiles, ever cordial. She steps inside, the butler taking her coat and shoes and Regina then following Mal's mother into the dinning room. The table is already set but no one is eating yet, all of them waiting for her.

"Good evening," she greets and they chorus back to her. Mal slides out Regina's seat for her after Regina leaves her presents by the massive tree. This is a custom now, Regina practically part of the family. She's known Mal for years now namely because of Cora and Mal's mom being friends. At first Regina and Mal had only pretended to get along on playdates when their mother's would convene. But soon, they realized they could actually get along and be of use to each other. Because both their mothers believed that friendships were only to be had if they served a purpose. Such as having benefits of getting then further in the world.

Mal and Regina didn't entirely ascribe to such ideology, but they played the part in front of their families in order to keep up the illusion.

"Regina dear, how are your studies going?" Mal's mother asked and Regina put aside the fork she had been eating with so she could speak properly. She would not be caught having terrible table manners. Mal's mother would take this chance to deride Regina later to Cora, in an effort to show off how much more superior Mal was. Regina would never understand her mother's relationships with her friends, because they were all so hostile.

"All A's as always," Regina says, treading a careful line between being humble and proud. Couldn't be too much of each or else she would be talked about badly. Regina did enjoy spending time with her friend on the holidays but she had to often slog through all the unpleasantness first. Regina only wished she could go away to a ski lounge of some sort if only to avoid all this. Maybe next year she and her friends could go. They certainly had enough money for it. It would just be a matter of convincing their parents.

"And your college process?" is the follow up question. "Mal has already received letters from her early acceptance schools." Which is a lie since Mal didn't mention anything yet but Regina knows better than to call out this bluff.

Regina wonders, why had Emma tried to invite her for the holidays? Was it out of pity? If so, Regina didn't need any pity. She was more than capable of spending Christmas alone. She had done so a handful of times when the Drake's weren't around.

Conversation flows in this manner, with Regina fielding questions left and right and eventually passing the interrogation because she and Mal are allowed to go upstairs after dinner to hang out.

Mal knows to no longer apologize by her mother's words, because it's habit for this happen and both of them have gotten used to it. "What do you want to watch?" Mal asks, flicking on her wall screen TV.

Regina shrugs. "What do you recommend?" Regina doesn't have time to typically watch TV. It's all work, work and no play. If she's not doing work then she's expected to clean the house, handle household affairs or work on her hobbies and skills. Such as playing violin, cello and piano, plus her mastery of two other foreign languages. Regina knows English, French and Latin. She knows Spanish too because her dad taught her some even though Cora was very strict about not having any of that language in her house.

But it was Regina's heritage and she wanted to keep it. She was proud of it though she could never admit it to her mother.

"There's this new show about blind dating. I watch it with William. He's surprisingly into reality trash shows and he got me hooked on it."

Regina plopped down on the sheets of the comforter. "What do your parents think of him?"

Mal scowls, that one expression already conveying so much. "They say he's alright as long as he doesn't become a distraction. But clearly, they're hoping I don't stay with him. He may have talent and good money but he's not the brightest tool in the shed."

"Ah, of course. Not perfect enough. But when you go to college, what can they do. They can't control you there," Regina says which is wishful thinking because Cora's in another country and she still manages to micro manage Regina's future.

"I don't know," Mal sighs, flopping down on the covers as the show plays. "I really like him. I don't want to have to break up with him."

"Then pretend you do, but don't," Regina points out, tugging down the collar of her shirt. She's been feeling incredibly warm all evening long. Is she falling ill? She doesn't feel it. She pushes the thought aside as she and Mal mindlessly watch the show playing, laughing at how vapid some of the people on the show are, making dumb decisions.

At nine they open up presents and Regina smiles and is thankful for her gifts. Afterwards, she goes home and goes straight to bed because she is also strangely exhausted.

_A/N: Hmmmm, what could possibly happen next? Will Regina present first, or will it be Emma?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Hold You**

Regina woke up the following morning, hot and sweaty. Her skin was crawling with this odd energy and she felt insatiable and for all the things she had never before. She let out a groan and looked down at her legs where she felt a throbbing sensation welling from. The sheets were tented. She pulled the sheets off, the cooler air causing her rigid member to rise up even more. She let out another groan. What was this? Why was she so horny today?

And then it hit her. She was probably presenting.

Oh.

She hadn't expected this though reasonably she should. She was seventeen, nearing eighteen years of age. But she had thought she wouldn't experience this yet. As she had planned to do so much work over the break and now she would have a hard time focusing. The good news was, Regina had prepared preemptively if her rut should ever arrive.

There had been a chance of her either being a beta or an alpha but Regina knew she was presenting as an alpha. Each presentation had different characteristics. Omegas tended to get overly emotional and needy. They nested, finding a quiet, secluded space and staying there once they found someone to take care of them. If they didn't, then they were out and about, their hormones tempting many to their side and often causing fights among alphas and betas.

Betas were more subtle. And had less symptoms. Often times they did not suffer incredible hornyness and either felt the need to stay indoors or to exhibit outgoingness.

Alphas tended to become aggressive and violent and very pushy. They wanted to conquer. Though of course that wasn't always the case. There were nice alphas, but the overwhelming need to find a mate during this time stayed with all of them.

Regina had no such desire to waste time on finding someone to share her bed, just because she was rutting. She got out of bed, shivering as each brush of her silk fabric pjs sent pleasure coursing through her. Mother would be proud to learn Regina was an alpha. All Mills women were alphas for they were a line that breed lions and not sheep. If Regina had grown into a beta or worse, an omega, mother would have surely disowned her.

Father was not so set on such status's. He simply only cared if Regina were happy and were to find a mate.

Regina made way to the bathroom, splashing cold water on her face and letting it run down her neck. She felt hot and stiff, aching all over like she was with a fever. But this fever was a pleasurable one that had her wanting for something she did not have. She opened the cabinet and pulled out some tablets she had bought. Normally, these were consumed before a rut occurred but Regina hadn't known when hers would first happen. Typical first ruts and heats always came out of the blue and it took careful managing to predict and accommodate for the upcoming ones. Which some teens had trouble with.

Regina swallowed down two of the blue little pills with some sink water, hoping that they would have some effect and take the edge off. Either way, she would have to deal with her friend that lay in between her thighs. She wouldn't be able to go about the rest of the day with it sticking around like this.

She went back into her bedroom, sitting down on her bed and pulling down her shorts. Her cock curved upwards, glad to be free. It was so stiff it actually hurt. She had never felt this way and now she partially understood why some alphas went rut crazed if it hurt like this and it was only the beginning of the rut.

Regina knew first ruts were weak in comparison to adult ones and she was grateful that it would give her leeway to adjust to these ruts and then control them with medications and hormones when she got older. She couldn't have them distracting her in college. That would be horrible!

She was already leaking from her tip and she used a hand to smear the wetness around, eyes fluttering shut. It felt so good already. She was ready to cum and even just from this little. She began a steady pattern of jerking up and down. As she did her thoughts drifted to someone. A particular someone that Regina found herself thinking off more often than she should. Blonde curled hair, sea green eyes and toned muscles.

Emma cupped Regina's chin in her hand, leaning in and softly pressing her lips against Regina's-

Regina came with a low groan, splattering all over her own thighs. She was left gasping for breath, shocked at her own self. What the hell? What the hell had that been? Had she cum, thinking of Emma kissing her?

Pleasure still coursed through Regina's veins but she got up on shaky thighs going to her bathroom to clean up. No, she refused to believe it. But it was true. God. She felt so...disgruntled with her own self. How would she even look Emma in the eyes any more after masturbating to her?

Stressed, Regina cleaned up, got changed into everyday clothes and then went downstairs to make breakfast, trying to push this incident out of her mind.

* * *

But if Regina thought she could turn to her books, she was sorely mistaken. The medicine she had taken had minimal effect and it was hard to focus on anything other than the raging need building in between her thighs. "Fuck," she swore, cheeks flushed and head filled with thoughts of Emma again. Regina pushed herself from her desk, hands extended out and ducking her head in between them as she tried to draw in long breaths and calm herself down. But she couldn't. She squeezed her eyes shut, knowing that ruts could be alleviated in one way mainly.

Growling lowly in her throat with frustration, Regina got up and went to her bed again, lying down flat on it this time. With anger she rolled down her pants and let her cock spring up, tip red with how repressed her need was. Angry at her own body, Regina wrapped a hand around the base and began to stroke rapidly, hoping she could get off easily. She intended to keep her mind as clear as possible, not thinking about Emma at all. She refused to think of her in such a way. They didn't even like each other!

But the medicine must have made it harder for Regina to cum, because no matter how much Regina stroked and felt the urge to come building up inside her, she could not. Frustrated she turned onto her stomach, snarling into the pillows. She was hot and heated and she just wanted to get back to her work. Why did her stupid rut have to show up now of all times?

She began rutting into the sheets but even that didn't really work. She closed her eyes and tried to think of some neutral fantasy that might work. She tried to think of some of the boys at school. The ones with dimpled grins and toned muscles. The timbre of their voice, the way they laughed when they told a joke. And the way they would lean in and kiss her and she'd run their hands through their hair. Long luxurious locks of blonde hair.

Regina's breath hitched as her fantasy picked up steam. They'd kiss and kiss and Regina would wrap her arms around toned arms, arms that were slender and yet well built. The shirt would go off due to Regina's greedy hands and a toned abdominal would be there, leading up to small soft breasts with rosy tips.

Regina would run her hands down the breasts, cupping them. She would lave a path with her tongue up the toned stomach, And Emma's hands would wrap in Regina's hair and encourage her lower and lower, until Regina's mouth was even with the front of Emma's shorts and-

Regina came, gasping hard and trembling as her orgasm shook her. She was panting loudly when she came down and her vision was a bit blurry. _Oh no_, she thought, even as pleasure coursed through her. She had thought about Emma again.

Did this...did this mean Regina liked her? Liked Emma Swan?

Regina shook her head. No, it couldn't be. It just had to be a fault of the rut. Yes, just because she was rut crazed and it had nothing to do with Regina's true feelings. At all.

* * *

Regina's rut passed after her third day. Regina could not be more happy when it did. And just in time. Mother and father arrived home.

"Nice to see the house is still in one shape, even if it is a mess," Cora said as soon as Regina opened the door, father carrying all of Cora's bags in his hold, stumbling under the weight of them behind her. Regina refrained from hugging him. Affection was looked down upon though Henry Sr. did give Regina hugs whenever it was safe to do so.

He did give Regina a soft smile when he walked past her to set down the luggage with a groan. Her parents coming home was such a bittersweet time. Because Regina knew she would be highly scrutinized by mother and yet, they were her parents. How could she not love them despite all their flaws?

Regina bit the inside of her cheek at mother's comment and said nothing as mother sniffed in disdain, swiping a finger on a counter top. Regina had spent the whole morning cleaning the house up for her mother's arrival. It wasn't like Regina ever let it become so much as disorganized, but clearly, even with the house cleaned, it wasn't up to standard for mother.

Regina tensed her muscles, already knowing to expect a barrage of invasive questions to come when mother's nose picked up on the lingering rut scent in the air despite Regina's best attempts to eradicate it.

"You are an alpha. Truly a daughter of mine," Cora said, moderately pleased. "This means that we'll have to find the perfect omega for you because I will not have you raising a subpar family."

Another family obligation thrust upon Regina's shoulders. They feel impossible to hold up. "You told me to focus on my education-"

"And you shall. I'll find someone for you that gave benefit our family. Maybe one of your friends will do well. Kathryn? I know she's a proper omega."

Regina's stomach twisted at the thought of having to sleep with her best friend who she saw as a sister. Yet, she didn't say anything. She knew better than to argue against her mother's machinations.

* * *

As soon as Regina came in through those school doors, everyone's heads swiveled to her. She resisted the urge to duck and scurry out, instead holding her head up high. The school could smell Regina's change on her. Those who presented emitted a certain scent. And Regina could now smell those who had presented as well. Prior to this, she couldn't tell by scent who was an omega, who was a beta, and who an alpha. But now she could. And it was disorienting. The scents were so strong she almost wanted to cover up her mouth. This would take some getting used to.

Regina wasn't the first to change from her friend group. She was, in fact, the last. She meet up with them at the lockers.

"Well, well," Mal drawled, closing her locker and turning to look at Regina. "Look who finally presented."

"We were worried you never would," Ursula tacked on and Regina smiled wanly at them. She could smell them now. Omegas. All of them. Not necessarily a bad thing to be, for certainly omegas had their sexual appeal and society was more fair to them now. But, Regina was the only alpha and she knew despite her lack of attraction to them, her alpha side might get easily excited due to her recent transformation.

"Like a caterpillar I was taking my time to turn into a butterfly," Regina insert slyly, noting Kathryn looking at her with a different expression than the others were. There was something in her eyes, almost like a new lens had been placed over them and how she saw Regina.

Mal laughs and rolls her eyes. "Trust you to use the most obnoxious expressions. But how was it? I hear ruts are horrid."

Regina thinks back to her constant nagging fantasies about Emma and can't stop the flush from spreading on her face.

They all gasp, noting her reaction. "No way! Tell me you didn't mate with someone on your first rut!" Ursula says and Regina is shaking her head already, embarrassed.

"No, no. None of that!"

"Maybe not yet," Cruella teased, "but not only are you popular, you're also an alpha. You're going to have omegas flocking to you left and right when they're in heat."

That was something that Regina was not excited for. It would only get in the way of her academic mission. "Right," she said a bit shortly, wanting to get this topic over with. "When the time comes, I'll focus on that. Right now, class is about to begin." The bell rang over head and the spring semester of school began. But Regina found herself distracted in class, thoughts of a certain blonde running through them and inspiring nothing but mortifying random boners. It was like her genitals were extremely sensitive, the smallest thing triggering her. She hoped this wasn't permanent, because skirts were not exactly made for alphas.

She found this out the hard way when she slipped into a daydream and found herself shuddering out of it when a soft thunk of something hitting her desk bottom broke her out of it. When she looked down she almost choked on her gasp of surprise and embarrassment when she saw what was there. Hurriedly she tried to tug the skirt down but it wasn't long enough to cover all that...length. Regina swallowed harshly and shut her eyes in panic as she felt her cheeks heat up.

Oh no. Oh no oh no. What was she to do? She couldn't get up like this even to go to the bathroom! Shit. She was in a tough spot and class was going to end in ten minutes. Letting out a shaking breath she tried to force her mind off of such things, thinking about something that might stress her out instead.

Eventually, it worked and she was able to get her friend down there into a semi hard state that she could deal with later. As she got up and put her papers in her bag, she felt something ghost over her shoulder. She nearly jerked away but didn't, when a soft hand touched her lower back. It was one of the omega girls in her class who was known to like to enjoy one night stands.

"Hey, if you ever need help with...something, just let me know." And then she was walking away, sashaying her hips. Regina's mouth dropped open, shocked. Did she just get propositioned...? How had the girl even known...?

Unless, she had smelled Regina's arousal. That was something that those who had presented could do. Shit, this was another embarrassing moment for Regina. Could the whole class smell her? Regina felt like melting into the floor but trying to regain some of her dignity, she held her back out straight and walked out through the door.

If that wasn't bad, facing Emma was even worse. Regina wanted to run and hide each time she saw the blonde, which was not appropriate behavior. Regina should face her problems head on. But how could she think of talking normally to Emma when her mind had thought such dirty things about the blonde before?

Maybe...Regina could avoid Emma a bit? Just until Regina was able to calm down her new hormones. Just until.

* * *

Emma knew Regina was avoiding her. What she didn't know was why. Had Emma done something to piss her off?

Contemplation brought up nothing on this topic and Emma was clueless. She thought about asking Regina but she knew the brunette was reticent about personal matters. So, Emma was left with either the choice to be grumpy about it and act like a sulky brat, or to simply pretend nothing was wrong and keep pestering Regina. It's not like the brunette could avoid their tutoring sessions.

In fact, Emma was going to go out of her way and be overly friendly to Regina, enacting Emma's plan that she had concocted over winter break, of wanting to see Regina outside of the school setting.

"You wanna check out this ice cream shop with me?"

Regina lifts her head up from her books, finding her peaceful study hour was interrupted none other than by Emma. She blinked slowly at Emma's expectant face. "Emma, it's thirty degrees outside. Hardly the weather for ice cream."

Emma flushed, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. "Uh, right. Never mind then." And she walked off.

This shortly became a reoccurring pattern, Emma asked Regina out to all sorts of places only for Regina to reject the idea. What was Emma trying to do? Was she trying to get Regina to hang out with her? As friends? No, they couldn't be that. Not when Regina had discovered she might be feeling something she shouldn't for Emma. She couldn't afford to like her or have a crush on her. Regina had to focus on her school work! Besides, Emma was annoying and immature...and...okay so maybe she didn't bother Regina any longer and Regina actually found the way Emma tried to be endearing. But Regina couldn't have this. She didn't have time for feelings. Especially not for someone she had used to dislike only to find that that feeling had been a precursor to her actually liking Emma.

It was embarrassing. What would Regina's friends think of her! They would laugh at her!

And mother...mother would be most displeased that Regina had fallen for someone of such low status. Emma had no connections, nothing to offer but her skills on the field.

"There's a party this weekend if you wanna come?" Emma suggests and Regina nearly laughs out loud at this. "Emma, do I seem the partying sort?" she asks sort of unkindly.

Emma shrugs. Though the blonde knows she'll get rejected, she's still trying. It's almost like a game now. How long can they keep going. "Maybe, maybe not. For all I know you could be a wild animal under your perfection. Most girls who are so uptight go crazy when cut loose."

Regina's jaw gapes open, though she's not truly offended. Not really. Her and Emma had slung so many stones and arrows at each other, it's friendly banter at this point and even welcomed. "Emma, I can assure you it's not true."

"Then come to this party to prove it," Emma challenges. "Come on, please? Just do one party because I sure as hell know you aren't going to any when you go to college, which kinda defeats the purpose you know."

"And you should be studying more instead of partying. Your grades-"

"Actually, I wanted to show you something. I didn't get a chance to over winter break but this," and Emma pulls out a slightly crumbled report card from her pocket, like she's been carrying it around everywhere, waiting to show Regina. She slides the paper across to her and the brunette looks, unable to resist the proud smile on her face. "Well, it seems you do have something in that big head of yours besides hot air and arrogance."

All the subjects were B's with one as a B+. Emma had worked hard, had applied herself, and the results showed.

"So, if I can do this and party, so can you miss perfection," Emma says, taking the report card back.

Regina shakes her head. "Emma, there are so many reasons why that is a no. It's not my crowd, first of all, and secondly, I don't drink or dance. But thank you, for the offer."

Emma sighs, pouts and leans back in her seat. Regina feels a thrill rush down her spine at those pink pouty lips and all she can think of is biting down on them and wondering what reaction she'll get. Damn it, she curses internally. Why the hell is she having all these inappropriate thoughts about Emma? She didn't have them before the change and now ever since she presented, she feels like a damned stereotypical alpha, thinking of intimate gestures she feels she shouldn't be thinking of. That's why she shouldn't be next to Emma, not until this calms down. Because being next to Emma, inspired all these stupid sordid fantasies.

Even Emma's scent was more potent now. Whereas Regina had only sometimes noticed it and if she was standing closely to the blonde, now she noticed it all the time. That soft sweet vanilla scent, with a hint of sprinkles. It was ridiculous the way it made Regina's skin prickle and goosebump when she scented it.

"Are you sure there's no way I can tempt you?" Emma asks, crossing her arms over her chest and making those biceps flex. Regina can feel herself heating up as inappropriate thoughts assail her. Oh, Emma's tempting her alright, and already by doing so little.

"Emma..." Regina sighs and tries to regain her equilibrium. She's grateful they're sitting down, across from each other, with the library table in between them because Regina notices she's becoming hard.

"I think you've noticed that I've been trying to hang out with you, outside of school."

"And why do you want to do that?" Regina asks with a soft edge to her voice. She tries to resist the urge to squirm in her seat. She does, covertly slip her hand under and fix her skirt so it covers her bulge a bit. Damn these random hormonal boners.

Emma frowns. "Seriously?" and now she seems upset. "I thought we were- well shit, not best friends- but at least somewhat friends that we could go out and get a meal or something together."

"Emma," and here Regina was going to regret saying this she knew, but she had to say it. Getting distance from Emma surely would temper Regina's crush on her and make things less awkward. "Just because I tutor you and we no longer fight each other, does not make us friends."

She could see Emma's eyes hardening and darkening. Her shoulders tensed and her vanilla scent started having a burnt edge to it. "Of course. Why did I ever think we could be friends. Right, how stupid of me," she scoffed sarcastically and got up to leave.

Regina didn't dare to call after her. It was better this way.

Right?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: And Have**

"Man, this fucking sucks," Ruby said, from where she was lying on her bed, red cheeked. Emma sat on the edge, giving Ruby a glass of water which the woman took happily. She gulped it down and Emma let her before taking the empty glass from her. "I thought I would have a few more years before this, ya know," Ruby said, gesturing to her current state.

"I thought you would be more excited for this," Emma said. "You always talked about how much more tail you would get if you were presenting."

"Yea, but I was like, half joking. I didn't know heats would be this bad," Ruby explained, fanning herself even though the window was open and the heating off. Ruby had been home for the past three days, her grandma taking care of her. Emma was only allowed to visit on the last day so as not to see Ruby in a frenzied state which would surely embarrass Ruby to be seen in.

"Are you feeling better?"

Ruby blew out a strand of air. "Well, I don't feel like fucking everything and anything that moves, so yea, I guess I'm feeling better."

"Good," Emma nodded her head shortly. "I brought you your homework so let me know if there are some things on it that need explaining."

"Thanks for that," Ruby said as Emma got up to leave.

"No problem. Hope to see you in school tomorrow."

* * *

Regina was going to get her early decision letter from Colombia sometime this week and she was antsy with nerves, nerves she had learned to hide well. Did she get in? Did she not? She was impatient to know. It was one of her top schools and she really hoped they accepted her application. Why would they have reason not to? She had the perfect grades and resume.

She was preoccupied with this, so much so that she didn't notice the way Kathryn was sitting closely next to her at lunch. Odd, she thought to herself but didn't do much about it or think more on it. Her mind went back to thinking on her letter. Her friends knew she was thinking about such things and so they didn't bother her thoughts, merely talking among themselves over on topics such as clothing or gossip that was circulating the school.

It wasn't until lunch was over that Kathryn stopped Regina, drawing her aside to talk to her privately. "Hey, can I talk to you?" Kathryn asked, looking tad shy like Regina had never seen her do.

"Yes, of course. Do you need help with something?" Regina asked, ever eager to be of use to her friends.

"Um, do you have time to come over to my place?" Kathryn asked, voice timid.

Regina's brows went up. Kathryn had pulled her aside for this? "Today?" she inquired.

Kathryn shook her head, her long blonde hair tumbling over her shoulders. "No. In about a month's time. My family wants to have dinner with you."

"Oh, okay." That wasn't unusual. Since Regina's parents were away a lot of the time, she often was invited to family dinners by her friends. Why was Kathryn acting so weird about it?

"Good," Kathryn smiles and walks off, throwing over her shoulders that she'll text Regina the details later.

* * *

"What's got you down?" a kind voice asked as Emma sat on the bleachers before class started. It was cold out and foggy from early morning rain that had drizzled on the seats which Emma was sitting on, not caring if she soaked her jeans.

Emma turned to see that it was Merida approaching her, wearing her soccer uniform. Her thick red hair was up in a ponytail that looked like it would cause the rubber band to snap any moment. "Uh, nothing much."

Emma couldn't tell Merida about her crush on Regina. They weren't on that level yet. Just because they slept together twice didn't mean she could trust her like she could trust Ruby.

"Come love, I know that's not true," Merida's Scottish accent used to be tough to figure out but she's become more Americanized and it's easier to make out her words.

"Seriously, nothing big," Emma assures, but it is something big. She thought Regina was her friend and apparently she's not. Did all that effort go to waste? Maybe Emma should give up. Her type never liked her back so what was the point in even trying?

Merida sensed that Emma wasn't going to be forthcoming so she dropped the topic, instead making sure to bend over and start stretching her legs. Her ass bobbed in the air in front of Emma who almost wanted to roll her eyes. She'd had her fun with Merida but not anymore. She was in the mood to be a little brat and be rude to everyone.

"I'm gonna head in. I'm waiting on Ruby," Emma fibs lightly and hops off the bench, walking into the school which is still pretty empty at this hour, shaking her wet hair. It's curled up even more and Emma doesn't bother to try and brush her hair. It's always been unruly. Emma has nothing to do at this time so she goes to the library thinking she can maybe catch a nap or do some work in the back. She pauses when she sees whose sitting in the tables at the front. Regina.

Bent over her books, a strand of her hair hanging down in front of her eyes. What Emma wouldn't do to be able to tuck it back gently.

Emma's heart clenches and she freezes. Of course Regina would be here. She's probably finishing up some big project of hers. Or studying extra. Regina never gets anything less than an A plus. Emma turns on her heel and leaves before Regina can look up from her books.

She wanders the halls, waiting impatiently for Ruby's return to school. At long last the brunette arrives, spreading out her arms and inhaling deeply all the new scents she can detect. "Ah, the fragrance of lust. Lovely." She says dryly.

Emma can't help but laugh. She's missed Ruby. Even though it's only been a couple of days it feels like forever. "So, do you feel like a new person?" Emma asks as Ruby looks around. A couple of males hoot at her, noting her new status. Ruby bows grandly and then flips them off as they amble past her.

"Almost," Ruby confesses. "It's kinda a whole new scary world, ya know. And I'm not sure I'm ready for it."

"Well, I'll be here. Punching anyone you want," Emma slung an arm around Ruby's shoulders and they walked down the hall to get to class. As they did, Ruby took this time to examine who was what.

"Beta, beta, omega, alpha, omega, omega, beta," Ruby rattled off as she pointed at the upper class man. She spotted Regina in the crowd ahead, heading to class, and her eyes went wide. "Oh, shit," she whispered and Emma heard it, heart thudding. What had Ruby scented around Regina?

"Regina's an alpha?" Ruby questioned, slowing her gait a bit.

Emma could feel her insides freeze. "An alpha?" That was...that was not what Emma had expected! Emma liked women and their lady parts. But if Regina was an alpha, this meant she didn't have lady parts but...

"Regina's got a dick bro," Ruby told Emma whose face had gone pale.

"Are you sure...?" Emma breathed out.

"I'll double check but her scent is coming in clear and strong. Very fruity but also very smoky," Ruby said, taking in some deep whiffs as Regina disappeared down the hall, walking with her friend Cruella.

"Shit," Emma bit her bottom lip. That changed things for her. Emma may still like Regina, but could she even do anything with her if she had that addition?

"Don't worry, we'll figure things out, Emma," Ruby assured, patting Emma on the back.

* * *

Regina gets home Thursday evening to find a white envelope in her mailbox. She picks it up with trembling fingers when she sees it's from Colombia. She hurries inside, tossing her things to the side and opening the paper up with shaking hands. Her eyes scan the paper once, then twice and then thrice.

She forgets how to breath and when she remembers its in huge shuddering breaths as her back hits the wall and she slides down. Colombia rejected her.

How?

Why?

Hot tears wash down her face before she can even stop them. The letter crumples up in her hand. Wasn't she perfect? All her effort, and not good enough still?

Mother wouldn't be pleased with this.

Regina would be berated for hours on end. Would be punished for this failure.

Fuck Colombia for rejecting her!

She wadded up the paper into a ball and threw it.

Shit. This hurt. Hurt so bad. She wanted to forget this pain. Wanted to do something crazy.

All her life she had tried to be her best. On her best behavior. Have her best grades. Be nice and kind and work her way up and _nothing_. It all resulted in _nothing._

Then she was going to cut loose, throw a big fuck you to the universe. She got up, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. She recalled Emma telling her something about a party. Now it was just a matter of going there.

* * *

The music was loud, pounding through Emma's head as the alcohol coursed through her veins. August always had the best parties because his parents left the whole house to him. Man, rich kids had it so nice. Right now that aforementioned rich kid was swinging from a chandelier in the front room, shirtless and belting out Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball song with a bottle of Jack in is hand.

About half the high school was here, either drunk or on their way to being drunk. The floor was a sticky mess and Emma had lost Ruby about two rooms ago. She was alone but she didn't mind, shaking her head along to the music. She was feeling good, flirting with girls, laughing with the dudes, and even playing a game of beer pong.

She didn't know how much she had drank but it was enough that her head was spinning and the floor was tilted with each step.

"Swan, you good?" Willis, a soccer player asked her and she just smiled and tried to give him a thumbs up and failed, instead doing a finger gun. She eventually went to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of water to try to flush some of the alcohol away. She was on her second and feeling a bit better and clear headed when she saw who looked like Regina on the other side of the dinning room.

Squinting her eyes, she stumbled forward, forgetting the fact the two of them were arguing. "Regina. Regina!" she called out, and Regina turned to face her, looking really drunk.

"Swan!" she hicc-ed, red solo cup in her hand. "So happy to see you!"

"Really?"

"Yea, I really like seeing your face around here."

The two of them were shouting over the loud music.

"I can't hear you too well. Wanna go somewhere quieter?" Emma suggested.

Regina nodded her head quickly and they went up to one of the bedrooms. One that was free, and sat on the bed. "Why are you here?" Emma asked, still a bit loudly because she was drunk.

Regina shrugged. "Because."

"I thought you didn't wanna hang out with me."

"I'm not hanging out with you. I came here because I can."

"How much did you even drink?" Emma asks. Because she worries for Regina. Has Regina ever drank before?

"Like...three cups," Regina slurs and she giggles, leaning in towards Emma. They're sitting really close on the bed and Emma's breath hitches in the back of her throat. Despite how mean Regina can be to her, Emma can't hate it. She just can't. She will always have a weakness for those who treat her like shit despite all the women who Emma could choose from who would gladly be hers.

And Regina was an alpha too. Could Emma get over that fact?

Right now, she's feeling very generous on it, because her drink muddled brain can only focus on how soft Regina's lips look in the subdued lighting of this bedroom. "Let me take this from you," Emma offers gallantly and takes Regina's cup, replacing it with her cup of water. "Drink this. You're going to need to sober up."

Regina takes it and downs the whole glass. "I fucking hate this," she murmurs out and Emma's heart clenches. "Hate us talking?"

"No," Regina presses the cool glass to her flushed face. "I hate...I only hate how weak you make me feel."

"Huh?"

"You make me...not want to do my work," Regina confessed. "Which is bad. Because school is important and then they reject me anyways. But I'm not going to cry. Nope." Regina shakes her head while Emma's mind is reeling with what happened.

"You think...about me?" she asks softly. It sounded a lot like hope to her.

Regina nodded her head in confirmation.

Emma's heart was pounding in her chest. It was now or never. She licked her lips.

"Slap me if I'm being stupid," Emma said and then leaned in and kissed Regina without further hesitation. Their lips met in a soft kiss that was just a bit sloppy due to both of them being drunk. The glass thunked out of Regina's hand and landed on the carpeted floor.

The kiss was short, Emma not wanting to over stay her welcome.

Emma pulled away only for Regina to slap her. It was a strong slap, with a sting. Emma's a bit in shock. That was certainly a wake up call from the nice kiss.

"You're always stupid," Regina said before grabbing the front of Emma's flannel and pulling her back in for another kiss. This kiss is hard. Needy. Both of them melt into it, Emma backing Regina up onto the bed covers as her hands drop to Regina's hips. Everything outside the both of them has ceased to exist. They only exist in this moment. In each other's lips.

They press tight against each other as they make out. Every inch touching.

Emma can feel it. Feel Regina's alpha addition against the front of her pants. She's huge. Not that Emma has any experience with dicks, but Regina feels huge. And she's hard for Emma. Normally this would get Emma running the other way. But it was Regina and Emma found she didn't mind. In fact, she liked it. She pressed in harder, wanting to feel in control, wanting to make Regina even harder with their make out session.

She began to gyrate her hips against Regina's hard on and immediately the alpha began to react. Little needy whimpers sounded from the back of Regina's throat as they shared messy kisses. Her nails embedded themselves into Emma's shoulders, spurring the blonde omega on.

Everything was moving so fast, but Emma didn't care. There was no way she could stop. It all felt so good. Emma's heartbeat pounded in her ears as her pulse raced and her hips continued gyrating over Regina's. The alpha's whimpers began to pick up frequency as did her breaths, her hips becoming more desperate as they bucked.

Then Emma felt it, a warmth spreading across her front as Regina threw her head back against the covers, eyes squeezing shut. Emma stopped her movements, breathing heavy in arousal as she saw that a wet mark had covered the front of Regina's burgundy pants. Had...had the alpha come?

Emma could still feel it throbbing below her like in time with a heart beat and she got up, alleviating the pressure there. Her eyes shifted up to Regina's face. Regina's eyes were half lidded now and she had her mouth parted. She looked so...so good right now. So in bliss.

Emma realized her panties were drenched too. She could feel them squelching as she moved.

Fuck. She couldn't recall the last time she'd been this turned on.

And she never thought it would be over some alpha.

"I need to...I need to um, use the restroom," Regina rumbled out, her voice so husky that it literally made Emma shiver, a deep shiver that went into her gut and made wetness spread even further.

Emma gets up and allows Regina to use the restroom to no doubt, clean herself up. Emma might need that bathroom soon too. She hadn't expected them to go so far and she herself was shocked by her bodies own reactions.

Swallowing heavily, she licks her lower lip, tasting some of Regina's chapstick still on it.

She shudders once more in a wash of heat.

* * *

Regina wakes up with a massive head ache and the taste of iron in her mouth. She groans and rolls over, instantly regretting it. She's in her own bed, thankfully, and dressed in pjs, but that's about the only responsible part of her actions from yesterday. All of her decisions from last night come flooding back and she buries her head into her pillows in shame as she realizes that not only did she confess to sort of liking Emma, they kissed and then dry humped until Regina came in her pants.

Oh fuck. Talk about embarrassing.

How was she ever going to live this down?

Her stomach gurgled and she shot out of bed to race to the bathroom.

Shit, she was never drinking again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: You**

Emma had no idea how Regina would react to what happened last night. She was hoping it would be good. A small part of her expected a negative reaction, but didn't quite expect the one she got.

"This is the first time someone has thrown up at the sight of me," Emma can't help but comment as she watches Regina race back to the school's bathroom stall and retch.

Emma follows in after her and holds her hair behind her as Regina empties the contents of her stomach. When she finishes, she flushes and wipes her mouth with paper, Emma stepping back to give her space. Regina stands on shaking legs. "Do you mind?" she asks, with an edge to her voice.

"I only want to help," Emma says softly and watches as her tone melts the tension in Regina's shoulders. "I'm fine," the brunette says, cheeks flushed to be found in this state. Knowing Regina, she probably is mortified Emma saw her like this but Emma wants to say, that it's fine. No one is perfect always and that Emma doesn't mind seeing all the different sides of Regina.

But she doesn't say that, because she knows Regina will debate her on the merits of such a point. "Why didn't you just stay home?"

"I can't afford to," Regina answers. "I must have perfect attendance."

"Yea, but at what cost? You look like shit."

Regina shoots her a glare.

"What, it's the truth," Emma shrugs. "Look, this is your first time dealing with a hangover. I'll get you some Tylenol and water and you'll feel better soon."

"I don't need hand outs-"

"Like hell you don't," Emma cuts in, angry that Regina won't take care of herself. "You don't feel well so you need to take care of yourself, especially if you're not going to stay home. Wait here, I'll go back to my locker and bring you the medication."

Regina has no choice but to grumble under her breath and cross her arms and lean against the wall. Her face is pale and pinched and she no doubt has a raging headache. Emma half expects Regina to not be there when she returns with the pill, but Regina is there, arms crossed over her stomach as if holding herself together. She reluctantly takes the medicine and offered water and gulps it down.

Emma shuffles her feet, unsure what to do next. She wants to talk more with Regina and ask if she's alright but there's something more important that happened between them. At the party

But Regina's not well and Emma's not an asshole to ask her about such an important thing when she's clearly not feeling well. "Um, see ya around," Emma gives an awkward wave and heads out.

* * *

"What is going on with you and Emma Swan?" Cruella asks at lunch time, as Regina's close friend group open up their salads collectively and begin to daintily eat. Regina nearly chokes on her tomato but manages to swallow it down with minimal pain. "What do you mean?" she asks.

"Just that we've seen the two of you talking to each other outside of tutoring," Ursula offers and they all lean in, eager to know. Regina feels the urge to recede within herself but instead squares her shoulders.

"Just casual comments, about homework is all," Regina says quickly, stabbing down onto another tomato.

"She isn't bothering you, is she?" Kathryn asks, twirling some cold pasta onto her fork.

"No...she stopped. Perhaps she realized how puerile she was being with all that," Regina responded with, trying not to squirm in her seat. She was uncomfortable with this line of questioning. She didn't like talking about Emma because she decidedly felt way too much for her once enemy. And then there's the matter of what happened at that party. Emma still hasn't mentioned it and Regina hopes it will stay that way.

Because Regina had come so easily and it bothered her alpha side that she hadn't lasted longer. That she hadn't seen Emma come undone above her. That desire has her flushing and she quickly bites the inside of her cheek hard to keep her naughty thoughts at bay.

Before more can be discussed about Emma, a boy comes up to the table, radiating with nervousness. He smells like beta. Very unappealing beta. "Hi," he says, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck. They all stare him down, wondering who he is here for. Mal is already spoken for, Ursula is fuck buddies with about two long term boys, Cruella doesn't date, and Kathryn doesn't either. Surely he can't be here for Regina?

"Do you need help with something?" Regina asks, putting up her star student facade.

"No...I mean..." he shrugged and looked back as if drawing strength from two male friends who gave him a thumbs up. Regina catches a whiff of his scent now. She can recognize the touch to it that means he's either in heat or about to be. Oh. She had a feeling she knew what this was about. Her stomach sinks. "Um, I was just wondering-"

"No, she's not interested," Kathryn cuts in coldly from behind Regina's turned head. The response startles Regina who was not expecting it to be spoken with such vitriol. "So don't bother her with your heats, she has more important things to tend to, like her work."

The beta male balks and ducks back to his seat, ears red with shame. Regina turns to Kathryn, open mouthed. The blonde looks furious but the anger melts off her face for one of forced casualness as she turns back to her salad, a shrug on her shoulders. "He's way below your station, Regina. You're a top alpha, and you deserve someone of your status."

Regina just doesn't say anything for a long time, even her other friends a bit quieted by Kathryn's words. The blonde hums under her breath and tries to ignore the tense atmosphere.

* * *

Regina cannot be happier when mid winter break is here. She needs some respite from school and from having to fend off omegas and betas who are in heat. It had been a trifle before, when she was asked out by the occasional brave soul. But now, it was simply too much.

With the break here, she could focus on her work, relax, and learn to control her body a bit more. She no longer got as many random boners but it was still annoying to feel excited when she caught whiffs of heats. She had texted her father on advice on how to deal with this and he had sent her many links to educational sites and told her to call him if it ever got to be bad.

Naturally, Regina's break does not go the way she wants it to, with absolute isolation, because she gets a text on her phone from an unknown number. She stares at it, wondering who it's from. All it says is Hi and has a waving hand on it. She's about to delete it when another message pops up.

_It's Emma._

Regina's heart clenches. Oh. Emma's texting her. How did she even get Regina's number?

Before she can type, Emma is already typing more. _I got your number from the school. I hope your break is going well :) I have some homework questions I was hoping you could help me with? Do you have time to tutor me for at least one day?_

Regina stares at the text bubbles, not sure what to say. A large part of her doesn't want to see Emma because it reminds her of their make out. But another part of her is responsible and takes her job as tutor seriously. Also...she kind of does really want to see Emma despite knowing it would be best to stay away from her. Kissing her had been so nice that thinking about it made Regina's stomach curl in on itself.

_Okay_, she types back. And they set about figuring out a time and place to met.

They decide upon Regina's house, since it would be more convenient for Regina to teach there since she wouldn't have to luge her stuff around everywhere. Emma shows up on time, a happy grin on her face. Her scent hits Regina full force when she opens the door and she blinks, trying to regain her thoughts.

Why is it so strong today? Could it be because Regina hasn't smelled it in a while? But no, it's noticeably stronger than normal. Regina tries to not inhale as Emma walks inside and Regina closes the door behind her.

They make small chat, Regina nervous at having Emma over. She's never really had anyone except her friend group over and this feels like new territory. Like something, almost sacred. But then she feels dumb for feeling this way and tries to shoo the thoughts away.

"Take out your homework and we can get started," she orders, so that they can get down to business. As much as she enjoys talking with Emma on inane topics, this isn't behavior she should condone. Emma's making Regina's head all muddled up and not in a good way. It's detracting Regina from her studies!

Emma complies obediently and they sit down from across each other, getting started on the chemistry work which always seems to be an issue for Emma. Halfway through it, Regina gets up to boil some tea for them. Emma takes it happily, scorching her tongue on the first sip.

"Shit," she curses and Regina can't help but laugh at that. Such a typical Emma move. It makes her heart swell with affection and she can't help it. But as time goes on, evening growing later, Regina notices something is a bit off about Emma.

Regina notices that Emma's face is red. It almost looks like she has a fever. "I think you should go home, Emma." She states, as Emma has also gotten a bit sluggish.

Emma nods her head, for once not arguing with Regina. "Yea, I'm not feeling that well. I don't know why." She gets up, packing up her supplies.

As Emma leaves the house, Regina can't help but think, could it be heat? Could Emma be going into an early one? If so, does she have anyone to take care of her?

Regina hopes she's wrong, but Emma's scent had been off today, and particularly strong. Regina will just be vigilant about it. Emma doesn't deserve to go through something like this alone like Regina had to.

* * *

Tomorrow Regina heads over for dinner at Kathryn's house. It's been scheduled for a while now and Regina has no idea what to expect. Kathryn has been acting a bit differently the past couple of weeks and Regina has no clue as to why. She can't outright ask Kathryn about it because it would be a very awkward exchange. But she sure as hell was curious as to why this was happening. She rings on their doorbell at five to eight and Kathryn opens it up shortly, wearing a very pretty skirt and shirt combination.

"Hello," Regina greets, lifting up a basket in which she brought some brownies in. "I brought dessert."

"You didn't need to," Kathryn says as she takes the basket and allows Regina inside. Regina hangs up her jacket and goes inside to meet Kathryn's parents.

"Thank you for you coming today, Regina," Kathryn's father says, shaking her hand.

"We're really glad you could make it," Kathryn's mom adds, hands clasped together in front of her chest.

"I'm glad to be here," Regina murmurs, more confused than anything else. Why is this so strangely formal? A pinching sensation settles in Regina's gut as she is instructed to sit at the table next to Kathryn.

Dinner is all laid out and it smells amazing, but Regina finds herself not having an appetite at all. Still, to not be rude, she piles on some warm food and begins to eat slowly.

"How is school going?" Kathryn's father asks.

"It's going well. Grades are high as usual and the college application process has all been completed," she answers. Normally she doesn't have to affect as much of a front with the Midas' since they are more lax than Mal's parents. But today, they seem to be asking her oddly interview like questions.

"Hear back from any schools?"

That is a sore point but Regina brushes past it. "No, not yet."

"Kathryn already has one school secured. Not the one which is our ideal school but we're still waiting to hear from that one as well." Kathryn's mother said, before diving into a deeper topic. "Your mother has told us so much about your future plans."

_More like mother's future plans_. Regina didn't have much say. Mother wanted her to work in an influential field. Either be a doctor, a lawyer or someone in power. Regina had chosen politics because she didn't want to be trusted with a scalpel or with someone's legal proceedings. Being a politician...well, she already had years of faking it in front of her mother. It should be easy to do the same with the public.

Conversation continues upon the view, Kathryn staying unusually quiet as Regina is questioned on her schooling goals, her future job goals, and her romantic goals, especially that of raising a family.

"Yes, I would like a family," she answers, discomfort prickling down her back. But that won't be for years to come.

"Kathryn would like one too, wouldn't you darling," and Kathryn nods her head to her mother's words. "She just needs to find a proper mate for it. Regina, I recently heard you presented into an alpha. You truly are your mother's daughter."

Why were they talking about this? It was private matters! Regina recalled her mother telling her that since she was an alpha now that she needed to find an omega. Surely mother wouldn't be so presumptuous as to...

Regina closed her eyes briefly. No. Mother wouldn't dare, would she? Not without at least giving a word of warning to Regina.

Regina decides to ignore what her gut is telling her. She doesn't want to believe it.

Regina suddenly feels a hand on her thigh and she's so shocked that her knee jerks up and bangs against the table. Pain blossoms.

And she also chokes on her water. She starts to cough viciously.

"Regina are you alright?" Ms. Midas asks and Regina nods her head.

She excuses herself to get some air and goes to the bathroom, letting the sink run as her coughs calm down. She doesn't notice the door opening until it creaks shut behind her and she turns to find Kathryn there.

"Are you okay?" the blonde asks.

"I'm fine," Regina answers stiffly, not sure what to make of this situation.

Kathryn looks uncertain as to how to proceed next. "Um, do you need me to pat your back or anything?" she asks timidly.

"No." Regina thinks maybe she's being extra harsh but she doesn't understand what Kathryn's playing at. "Why did you...grab me?" Regina asks, as they stare each other down. Kathryn makes a step forward, Regina bumps in closer to the sink.

Kathryn looks confused by the question. "Um, I was trying to make it romantic between us. You haven't been doing a good job of it."

Regina's eyes open wide. "What?" she asks. This response only serves to make Kathryn even more insecure.

"Don't you know?"

"Know what?" Regina suddenly realizes her mother _would _dare to do something so low. She's devastated to know this.

Kathryn tilts her head, even more confused. "Your mom called my mom as soon as you presented as alpha and said she wanted to arrange a marriage between us."

Regina is so shocked, she's silent. And she feels sick, her stomach dropping down below her. "I didn't know that," she says at last, gripping the sink hard behind her. But now it all makes more sense. The way Kathryn wasn't shocked when Regina showed up as an alpha at school. The way she's been so close and grabby. "And you're just okay with all this?"

Kathryn shrugs. "I don't...mind," she says.

"But Kathryn, we're friends! We don't even like each other in that manner! And we never have! You don't need to force yourself to have feelings for me. You don't need to say yes to this marriage. It's fine. Your parents are more understanding than my mother. Just tell them you don't love me and I don't love you, and that the marriage won't work out. You won't have to be stuck with me." Regina began to ramble, losing her composure.

Kathryn just grips the edges of her skirt hard, crumpling it up. She looks like she's about to cry. Then, she turns on her heel and rushes out of the room.

"Kathryn...?" Regina calls softly, wondering what she had said wrong.

* * *

Emma doesn't show up to school and Regina quietly worries over her. Is it a heat? It must be, because Regina has never seen Emma out sick before. She chews on the inside of her cheek as she waits impatiently for school to be over. "Got a date?" Cruella asks and Regina arches a brow at her.

"What?"

"You're so jittery. Must be something exciting for you to be like this," Cruella points out and Regina stops bouncing her leg which she hadn't known she was doing. "Spill, who is it?"

Regina is uncomfortable with this, because she knows Kathryn will no doubt be upset by this. Kathryn has been so odd ever since the dinner. Regina texted her an apology but it went ignored. She is at a loss of what to do. She and Kathryn have never fought before.

"It's no one," Regina says evenly. "I think I may be getting an acceptance letter from a college soon and I want to get home already."

The fib doesn't convince everyone, or at least not Cruella who merely scoffs but doesn't comment on it more. There's a bite to Regina's words that leave it undesirable to purse this vein of conversation.

Once school lets out, Regina drives over to Emma's house, finding parking about a block away. She's never dared to visit someone's house like this- without invitation, or one who is not from her friend group. But, she's worried about Emma.

Regina goes up the stairs to the moderately nice looking house. It's clearly had better days. There's no one around to take care of it now except for Emma since her parents are away. But she's too young to have to take care of a whole house by herself. Then again, isn't Regina too? Regina feels a momentary connectedness with Emma over the fact that parents have been absent from their lives way too often than they should. At least Regina's had wanted her. She couldn't imagine how it felt to be unwanted.

Regina rings the door bell to Emma's house. She waits on the stoop. No answer. Her hands begin to get clammy. What if somethings wrong? What if Emma is hurt?

She rings the bell again. And again. Then she knocks. What the hell? Should Regina go and find Ruby? Maybe the brunette will know the answer. But to get to Ruby, Regina will have to wait another day and she's too worried to do so.

Thinking hard, she begins to check the potted plants for a hidden spare key. She knows some people do this. Maybe Emma's parents do because they're never around and would leave a spare key for Emma in case she got locked out.

Regina strikes gold when her reasoning pays off and she finds the key under the mat. She slides it into the lock and turns it. "Emma?" she called out tentatively to the dark house. No answer. Regina closes the door behind her, takes off her shoes and then goes to the stairs. Maybe Emma is in her room. When she gets to the bottom step, Regina is hit with a strong scent.

She can feel her body heat up, her alpha senses running onto auto drive. It's a heat. An omega in heat. Her nostrils flare and she barely remembers herself from running up the stairs. She's never felt such a pull before. It's intoxicating, this smell. And she wants to inhale it more. Wants to taste it.

The hair on the back of her neck rises and she can feel excess saliva pooling in her mouth. She swallows and follows the scent to Emma's room where even more of it is coming from.

She pushes the door open and finds Emma there, in a nest made of her bed sheets on the bed. Emma instantly sits up from how she'd been lounging, the two of their eyes meeting. Regina can feel the scent crawling under her skin, burrowing in her brain.

Her alpha side is growling. It wants it wants it wants. She tightens every muscle in her body in an effort to try to control this. But it's like drugs. She can't seem to want to stop. Emma looks to be in no better shape. Her cheeks are red, chest heaving, and blonde hair messy. She licks her lips and Regina's eyes follow that motion.

"Alpha," Emma says and it triggers Regina to approach the bed, stopping at the foot of it. Her heart is pounding and so is something else. She curls her hands up into fists. Something small in the back of her head says to stop this. To leave this house. But she barely hears the voice when Emma's is so much louder. "I need you alpha," a flustered Emma admits, throwing her sheets off of her, revealing that she's only wearing a tank top and boy shorts underneath. Boy shorts that are soaked thoroughly.

Regina swallows, slowly crawling up the bed to where Emma is.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: In my Arms**

Emma can barely think. She's so damn horny she can't do anything else but try to alleviate the need between her thighs. But no amount of masturbating works and Emma nearly cries with annoyance. She's missed school because of this damned heat and she just wishes it would stop. How did Ruby ever get through this? Emma was tempted to text Ruby to ask for her help, but then again, she didn't want Ruby to see her like this. Because Emma was strongly tempted to ask Ruby to fuck her silly but they weren't like that anymore. Ruby liked Belle and Emma liked Regina.

Regina...

Emma groans and turns onto her stomach, humping into the mattress. God, she wanted Regina bad. Every time she thinks of what happened at the party she is filled with overwhelming need to have Regina next to her. To have the alpha _in_ her.

Just thinking about Regina knotting her gets Emma hot all over. She needs it. Needs it so bad. Emma knows it's the heat talking and that she needs to calm down, but she can't find a way too. She wishes her adoptive parents were here to help her through this, but the heat had snuck up out of nowhere and damn did it suck. She knew the first day was the worst. The second day should be better.

In fact, Emma can almost hear Regina's voice, calling her name. She humps down harder, so sensitive that it doesn't take much for her to cum. Her orgasm shakes her and when she comes down, she turns onto her back, feeling sweaty and gross and a little more like herself. Over the pounding of her heart she can hear the sound of what seems to be footsteps. And then the door is swinging open to her bedroom. Who the hell-? She sits up, freezing when she sees who it is.

The object of her crush.

Of her desires.

Regina.

As if magically summoned by Emma's thoughts.

She looks so damn good. Like a glass of cool water on a hot day. She's wearing the school uniform, as well put together as always. Her brunette hair brushes her cheeks which are glowing a bright pink. And her scent.

She smells of blueberries and lemon grass, smothered in smoke. Emma feels_ starved._

Alpha, alpha, alpha! Her mind screams at her and she can barely stop to think or control herself. She wants Regina. Needs her, or else she'll die.

"Alpha," she breathes out and watches as Regina's glazed eyed look turns into something more predatory. Emma is thrilled. The alpha wants her too. "I need you alpha," Emma adds and the alpha is pulled to her, like on a leash. Regina makes her way to Emma, the bed dipping as she crawls on it on her knees. The movement, even of the weight of the bed, has Emma's gut shifting with renewed need. Where she thought she ached before, now she's hurting. Her clit is throbbing and her pussy clenches on nothing as she images having Regina inside her.

Regina can smell her arousal. The alpha's eyes are almost black with desire. She hovers over Emma, appraising her. Emma doesn't have time to wait for this. She shifts and rips the boy shorts she's wearing, revealing wet curls, and a desire that leaks onto the bed sheets.

Regina growls and lunges forth, kissing Emma hard. Emma wraps her arms around Regina, tugging her close as she's pushed into the mattress. Regina is on top of her, kissing hard enough to bruise, positioning her clothed bulge right over Emma's naked center. Emma grinds down and that's all it takes. One pass and Emma's shaking and cumming again. Except this time, the relief is better. Because it's an alpha providing it. But not just any alpha. Regina.

It almost feels like a dream, but the weight of Regina above her is too real.

Emma's orgasm encourages Regina who keeps grinding down. Emma keens at the touch, but she needs more. Their kisses are messy and sloppy but they are too far gone to care, just wanting to touch and taste the other.

After she's cum a third time from something as simple as this, her hands race to the latch of Regina's skirt and tug it off of her, the alpha getting the message quickly and helping Emma with the process. And then Regina's unbuttoning her top as well and she's naked above Emma, save for her undergarments.

She's perfect. Soft and warm and Emma wants to touch her everywhere but there will be time for that later. First, Regina needs to get inside her. Emma reaches down and tugs Regina's cock out of her boxers. Emma's only felt it that one time they dry humped but seeing it out like this in the open, has her panting high in the back of her mouth. It's big, and hot, scalding her hand with it's temperature. And it's leaking profusely.

Emma wants all of it.

With a shaking hand she lines the tip up with her slit and leans back, waiting for Regina to do the rest of the work.

Regina has never had sex before. Never had the time for it. Never the interest for it.

It had always been work work work. But now, she likes someone. And not just someone. But Emma. Emma the omega right under her whose driving her crazy with want.

Any nerves Regina might have have about sex fades away as her alpha side goads her to take care of the pliant omega who is trusting her with her heat.

She leans down and kisses Emma hard, their tongues tangling as their mouths open. Emma's hand digs into Regina's hair, tugging deliciously as nails scrape skin. Regina lets her tip glide along Emma's slit, letting it be covered in lubrication, bumping the blonde's clit and making her whimper into Regina's mouth. And then, Regina begins to gently press in, hands coming down to Emma's hips to hold them in place as the penetration starts.

Regina's tip pries open Emma's tight opening with force, the both of them holding their breaths in excitement as the rest of it begins to slide in. Regina groans, the two of them breaking off the kiss. She had no idea this would feel so amazing. Emma was so warm and wet inside and willing for Regina to take her. Emma too was overcome by bliss. Regina was the biggest thing Emma had ever taken and the stretch had a tinge of pain to it, but it was all washed away by pleasure. By Emma's omega side purring with joy at having an alpha to take care of them.

"Hurry," she hissed, impatient with Regina's slow pace. She jostled her hips and the alpha above her let out a choked sound as her cock slid further in. Eventually there was no more space left, Regina bottoming out, her pelvis resting against Emma's.

Emma felt so full. She could feel Regina's hot and throbbing member inside her. She wanted it pounded her, pushing her to the brink of pleasure. But both of them needed a moment to adjust to these new sensations. Regina never knew how special it felt to be connected this way to someone. She wiggled her hips, trying to see if she could get even deeper but a firm barrier stopped her from doing so. She was all the way inside Emma and that idea was arousing. She bit her bottom lip as the urge to cum filled her.

But no, her alpha side demanded she pleasure Emma thoroughly first. She pulled out slowly, until only the tip was inside and then pushed back in. They both groaned at the sensation, their pheromones clouding their minds and demanding they continue. Their hips began to move, a slow and out of sync pace at first. But as they got more into it, their rhythm improved.

The bred creaked with their motions, their breaths and gasps mingled in the air. They could think of nothing else but themselves. "Harder," Emma croaked out and Regina did as asked, their pelvises snapping together. But it was getting harder for Regina to hold back from cumming. She could feel the burn of it in her nether regions and she gripped the sheets next to Emma's head, trying to hold on.

Emma felt each thrust vibrate through her, making her shake and quiver. Her hips writhed like crazy, and she found she couldn't keep her eyes open for long. Regina's rigid length was throbbing inside her hard and Emma reflexively clamped down on it, wanting to feel it release inside her. She got her wish a second later, when the tightening of Emma's walls proved to be too much for Regina's first time. She stuttered to a stop and came inside Emma. She buried her head into the crook of Emma's shoulder as she did so.

Emma felt the warm splash inside her and it triggered her own orgasm. She shook and shuddered, her walls rippling around Regina's length and drawing even more cum out of her. Regina felt overcome with pleasure. She kept cumming and cumming until at last she could relax, lowering her loose body on top of Emma's sweaty one. She couldn't recall ever cumming this much before.

They lay there a moment, in awe of what had just happened. Their conjoined releases dripped down onto the sheets as Regina stayed buried inside Emma. But soon, Emma's heat was acting up once more, barely giving them time to think. The relief she felt was short lived and it demanded more from Regina. The full force of it hit Emma and she bucked her hips up, whimpering for another round.

Something about Emma's scent wouldn't let Regina relax. She was still hard despite cumming not long ago and she wanted to make the omega satisfied once more. Emma's hips jostled Regina's hard member, making it twitch in excitement.

She got up, sliding her dick out before pushing it back in once more. They groaned in unison at the renewed feeling. It wasn't long before they had a succinct pace going. The bed frame was slapping the wall and sweat began to slick down their skin. "Harder," Emma encouraged, nails pricking the skin on the back of Regina's neck as she clung to her. She wanted Regina closer, wanted to feel her more.

The alpha let out a grunt of assent and began thrusting harder, each thrust making the tip of her dick smash into Emma's cervix, causing little ripples of pleasure up and down Emma's spine.

"Oh," she panted out as Regina struggled to maintain the pace above. The alpha wanted nothing more than to please the omega that had entrusted their heat to her. "Good, so good," Emma expressed and Regina growled at it, pleased to hear her omega liked it. She wanted nothing more than to protect this omega. She was her's.

Soon, both of their crests were arriving, Regina slowing down her pace as she quivered and then came. Regina released a second time inside Emma, her cum coating Emma's walls as Emma wrapped her arms around Regina and pulled her close, making their lips crash into each other. Their moans got lost in their mouths as their bottom halves pressed together, emptying into each other. Emma shook uncontrollably as she came at the sensation of Regina releasing inside her. Emma felt so full and loved like this, under her alpha, with her alpha inside her. She wrapped her legs around the small of Regina's back as the alpha continued emptying into her, Emma's walls rippling and clinging closely to Regina's cock to get everything out of it.

_Her's_, her inner omega rumbled and Emma had no common sense left to dispute it.

She just wanted more. Wanted everything her alpha could give her.

They lay in each other's arms, breathing hard. Regina could feel some of the fog leaving her mind as their heart rates slowed down. Had she-?

But before she could continue Emma was whimpering under Regina in distress. Regina turned to look at her, trying to read why the omega was upset. Her scent said everything. She was still in heat. Still unsatisfied.

Instinctively, Regina knew the one thing that would slake this heat. A knot. Specifically, her knot. She was determined to give it. Her alpha side demanded she do it, especially because this was Emma. Regina's heart swelled as she nuzzled into Emma's neck, biting lightly on her tendon. She could taste the salt of sweat and the sweetness of Emma's scent. The bite was an indication that Regina was agreeing to what Emma needed. Something deeper inside Regina urged her to bite down harder, until blood pooled free but she didn't do that, knowing that it was not yet time. This was only their first mating.

Emma spread her legs wider, all open to Regina's orders.

Regina wasted no time in beginning to thrust into Emma again, feeling how much wetter and warmer she was inside than before. And a bit looser, allowing Regina to pump in and out more easily. It was like silk. Silk that squeezed in the best of ways. How could Regina have not known such pleasure before? Now she understood why others were so eager to find a romantic partner. Because this felt so good.

Her shoulders shook as she held herself up over Emma's form. She was getting exhausted, never having done all this before. But she must be doing a good job because Emma was enjoying it, throwing her head back and writhing in pleasure.

"Yes. Good alpha," she cooed, eyes half lidded and Regina growled at those words, feeling them inspire in her a flame. Her cock twitched inside of Emma at that phrase and she rutted deeper in, nosing Emma's neck and kissing over her jumping pulse point. Emma's hands grabbed Regina's hips and pulled her closer but something was stopping Regina from getting in all the way now.

Regina was knotting Emma.

Regina had never knotted before; she wasn't quite sure what to do. But then instinct took over and she was working it in, sliding it against Emma's slit. It was thick and Regina wondered, would Emma even be able to take it all? She slipped a hand down in between their bodies and began to rub Regina's clit.

The effect was instantaneous. Emma shuddered and came after some light rubbing and the additional wetness helped the knot push in. Regina was now halfway in, a painful urge in her body urging to get in. She pushed a bit more, kissing Emma's neck when the omega hissed at the pain of being stretched out. This was both of their first times and they weren't quite sure what to do, but Emma left it up to the alpha, trusting her.

The knot eventually popped in and then they were both cumming at the same time as they felt a wash of happiness and contentedness over come them. Emma's walls tried to squeeze down on Regina's cock to draw more out and with the knot, all of the releases were kept inside, making her belly feel warm with Regina's releases. This time, Regina gently rolled them onto their sides. They were both tired and needed to rest after all their amorous activities.

At last, the knot seemed to be what Emma's heat needed because she gave a content sigh, at last able to relax with Regina's warm form behind her. Regina pulled the covers over them and they drifted off, the knot still throbbing between their legs and keeping them connected.

The knot stayed throughout much of the night. Emma would awaken gently ever so often when she could feel another stream of Regina's release pouring inside her, all contained by the knot. Emma would shiver in delight, cumming lightly herself in Regina's arms, which would only cause another stream of release from the alpha. Regina slept too soundly to notice but she buried her face into Emma's shoulder.

* * *

Regina awoke the next morning feeling sore in ways she had never before. She was also incredibly happy and the source of that came from the woman held in her arms. Regina nuzzled deeper into Emma's soft blond locks, arms wrapped around her waist. Emma smelled so good and she was so warm. And being inside her had felt-

Regina's eyes pop wide open at this as her heart squeezes in her chest.

Oh.

_Oh._

Dread settles into Regina's gut as she realizes what had happened the night before. Emma had been in heat and Regina had been unable to resist her. It was like something had taken control of her body. Regina had heard of that happening to some alphas, omegas trapping them into having sex with them this way. But Regina had never thought it would happen to her.

She was sure Emma hadn't meant to entice Regina into bed with her. And Regina hadn't meant to take advantage of Emma's heat like this. But the fact still stood.

They'd had unprotected sex. Many times.

Shit.

Shitshitshit.

Regina needed to get Emma an after heat pill.

Regina was beating herself up. How could she be so stupid? To let heat pheromones cloud her common sense? To do this without protection? Emma was younger than Regina. Regina was supposed to take care of her but she'd done something so stupid. She had to get that pill and now. Before it would be too late to take it.

Slowly she slide herself away from Emma, finding that her knot had gone down and they were no longer connected. Fluids stained the spot between their legs and Regina felt her stomach squeeze. She quickly and quietly put her clothes back on, knowing she smelled like sex. Maybe she should shower before she got the pill for Emma? But no, it would be too noisy and it would take up too much time.

Regina went into the bathroom mirror and tried to clean up as best as she could, using Emma's perfume to dose away the smell of the night they had spent together. And then, she went to her car, driving to the nearest drug store to get Emma medicine.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Like you Are**

Emma wakes up the following morning, heat slaked and body aching.

She's had good sex before, and what she and Regina had, hadn't been good. It had been amazing!

Emma rolls over, wanting to get Regina's opinion on it, when she finds the side of the bed the alpha had been on, empty. Emma sits up, touching the covers there. They're cold. Regina has been gone a long time. _Maybe she's downstairs?_ Emma hopes but as she pulls the sheets around her and stands up, she doesn't find Regina's clothing anywhere.

Still, not trying to lose hope, she goes downstairs and finds a meal, wrapped for her on the table with a note and a blue tablet on the note.

_Make sure to eat something and take this pill._

That's it. No signature, no cute sign off. If Emma hadn't watched carefully as Regina took her notes, looping the l's and dotting her i's, Emma wouldn't have known this note was from her. Emma feels disappointment settle into her stomach. After all, what had she been expecting? They weren't dating or anything. They didn't even confess their feelings to one another.

Emma groans and rubs her forehead. This was going to be a mess. And it was all her stupid heat's fault. She had slept with Regina and not meant to. She's thrilled she did, because she loved it and it made her feel very connected to Regina, like no one ever before. But...but at the same time this was too soon. Emma hadn't planned for this to happen. Hormones just got in the way of things.

And now what did she do?

And what was the pill for?

She peered down at it but it was nameless. Was it a contraceptive?

Emma flushed as she realized she'd let Regina cum inside her. A lot. Probably a good idea to take this pill. In a way, it was very thoughtful of Regina to get all this for Emma. Still, it didn't quell the fear inside her stomach rising about confronting Regina about what this all meant for them. Where did they go from here?

Any joy Emma might have felt from their coupling was put on the back burner. It wasn't even guaranteed that Regina felt that way for Emma. Sometimes omega hormones could drive alpha's crazy, even if there was no attraction between the two. But surely, even if Regina wasn't attracted to her, then it wouldn't cause her sexuality to shift. Which meant, that Emma now had proof that Regina was attracted to women.

Regina was gay. At least one of Emma's crushes finally was.

Which meant Emma might actually have a chance with her. But, had that one chance been ruined last night?

Stressed, Emma ate the meal Regina had made for her and then took the pill. She swallowed it dry before going back to bed to sleep away her feelings.

* * *

Regina had given her virginity to Emma. And Emma had given hers to Regina, (Regina was assuming, seeing as Emma's hymen had very much been there- but then again, what did it matter?)

The fact remained they had sex.

World destroying, mind melting, sex.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Regina thought she had been more mature. More responsible than other alphas. But she wasn't. She fell prey to her hormones. And she had done something so dumb as sleeping with Emma without protection and while Emma was vulnerable. Regina couldn't regret how special and amazing it had felt to give Emma her knot but she did regret doing it when they were both in the thrall of pheromones and biology as opposed to their own minds.

Would Emma hate her for this?

It didn't matter. It couldn't happen again.

It was never meant to happen in the first place.

Regina would have to make it very clear to Emma when the omega came back to school that this couldn't happen ever again.

For right now, Regina had to get her shit together before school started. Luckily, it was six in the morning, which meant she had two hours to try to get her life on track like Emma hadn't just rocked it last night. Regina showered, ate, and then attempted to finish up her homework which she hadn't done last night at all. Luckily for her, she was a student who liked to finish projects ahead of time, so she had most of her work already completed, she merely need to do some light editing. But even as she tried to focus deeply on her work, thoughts of Emma assailed her. Was she alright? What did she think of all this? Did she take the pill?

Regina's hand itched to text her but she refrained from doing so. She had no idea how to go about this situation and she was in no rush to do so. God, school was going to be so awkward today.

And she was right. She attempted to act with as much decorum as she could but she could not avoid Emma for long. The girl cornered her after school, right in the hallway. Luckily, it was empty, so their conversation wouldn't be overheard. Regina looked on in dread as Emma approached her. Emma seemed to sense this, because her smile at seeing Regina dropped.

"Don't tell me you're going to avoid me," she started preemptively and Regina defensively bristled.

"I will not."

"Good," Emma nodded her head, hands in the back pockets of her jeans. "Because we need to talk."

Ah, just what Regina dreaded. Mother had always said to face situations head on and bravely but that was something Regina found hard to do in this situation only because she'd never had something so intimate thrown out there. She had always been closely guarded but now Emma...Emma had seen Regina in her most private moment. Had seen her in her most vulnerable moment. When Regina doesn't say anything, Emma speaks up.

"Now what," Emma asks.

"What do you mean?" Regina asked.

"We had sex, Regina. Multiple times. It kinda means something whether you want it to or not."

Regina winced, reminded of her failure to control herself, and looked away. "It means nothing," she mumbled from the corner of her mouth.

"Seriously?" Emma says after a long awkward beat in which she realizes yes, that was exactly what Regina said and Emma hadn't misheard. "You're going to pull this shit? I expected more out of you."

Regina is bristling with anger, pushed into discomfort by this situation. "What do you want me to do? Suddenly propose to you? It was a mistake us having sex!"

Emma rears back, hurt. But she's not done fighting. "A mistake you made several times, Regina. However much you want to deny this, you feel something for me. Something more than what your hormones are telling you. And it's fucked up that you're trying to make this into nothing."

"Because it should have never happened!" Regina hisses out. "I don't have time to be in love."

The phrase bursts out of her mouth before she can stop herself and she clamps a hand to her mouth. But it's true. She's in love with Emma Swan.

Emma is as startled by Regina to hear this. "You...love me?"

Regina backpedals, panicking. "That's not what I-"

"Fuck you Regina Mills for being a coward!" Emma bursts out. Hadn't the night together meant anything? How could Regina be so cruel? So heartless. Emma could feel her heart shatter in her chest. Regina clearly liked her, but was going to not do anything about it. "Don't we both deserve to be happy? Stop trying to push us away!"

"You don't understand a damn thing, do you, Emma," Regina sneers, easily riled up. "This wasn't meant to happen. So what if I like you, I was never going to act on it."

"And why the hell not? I like you too, if it's not fucking obvious at this point with the way I put up with your constant bullshit."

"You don't understand," Regina hissed once more, and then rushed off.

"Maybe I would if you talked to me like a normal person would!" Emma screamed after her. But Regina didn't turn back around. With a growl of anger, Emma kicked the trash can next to her.

* * *

Ruby takes one look at Emma's face and knows something's wrong. "Oh, sweetie. What happened?" she asks, leading Emma to the couch in her house. It's the weekend, two days after Regina basically fucking broke Emma's heart. The blonde plops down heavily, like she's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"It's...Regina."

"What did she do this time?" Ruby asks, popping into the kitchen to get some beers for them. Her grandmother is sleeping upstairs, so they can't be too loud.

Emma didn't even know how to begin this. She opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again. "She fucked me," she settles on at last, Ruby taking a swig of her bitter beer. Emma can't even taste the bitterness because she feels more bitter than the beer.

"Did she say something rude? Expose you? Make fun of you-"

"No," Emma gave Ruby a deadpan look. "She literally fucked me."

Ruby just stares at Emma for a good while. "No way," she breathes out at last, sitting down next to Emma's whose sinking deep into the cushions so she can just ignore all this.

"There's so much I just can't- I wow," Ruby chokes on her words. "Spill," she commands, entirely flabbergasted.

"It was because of my heat," Emma starts in a monotone voice. "I was stuck at home, riding it out and then Regina showed up. I don't know why or how- we really didn't get to talk much."

"Oh," Ruby said, hands going to her mouth. She knew where this was going. But she let Emma continue.

"And uh, well our pheromones kinda meshed and we slept together. Several times."

"Emma, normally I would be cheering for you. I really would. But having a first heat and mating on it...tell me you two were safe?"

Emma winced. "No, but she got me an after pill. She had at least enough sense to do that."

"God, this is a mess."

"I know."

"We need to figure this out."

"I _know_."

Ruby flops back, mimicking Emma's posture. "Shit. Well at least we know for sure she likes you," the brunette tried to inject some humor.

"Does she?" Emma poised, thinking back on how Regina confessed to liking her but also to not wanting to do anything about it. Such BS! Emma had longed to finally be liked back by one of her crushes and when she finally was, nothing would come out of it either.

"Did you talk to her after all this?"

"I did, but she said she doesn't want anything more to do with me."

"Emma, I'm so sorry to hear that," Ruby whispers and rubs her arm in comfort. Emma looks down, almost not seeing the floor for the tears in her eyes. "It's fine," she roughly says back. "It was never going to work out anyways."

* * *

"The fuck is your deal," Ruby spat and Regina jerked up from her seat, not having heard the leggy girl striding up behind her.

Regina blinks at her in shock as Ruby's spitting out curses in the library before classes can even start. "Excuse me?"

"Don't excuse me, you asshole. You know what you did." Ruby is full of righteous anger, hands on hips, glaring Regina down. Regina notes out of the corner of her eye that students are listening in and watching. She can't have this show down happen in public. She gets up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Ruby questions.

"Somewhere more private, unless you want everyone to know Emma's business too?"

Ruby complies with this and they go to the back of the library where it's empty. Regina crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you want?"

"What I want is for you to stop being a giant dick! You hurt Emma's feelings."

Regina squared her shoulders. "What happened between me and Miss Swan-"

"Stop that. Stop distancing her from you! You two fucked. Okay, it happens. But what's wrong of you to do is to pretend it never happened and to break her heart."

"I can't be with her. What part of that don't you understand-"

"The part where you clearly have feelings for her, otherwise a tight ass like you wouldn't sleep with her, and yet, you deny happiness to the both of you!" Ruby argued. "What are you so scared of?"

Regina looked away at this, a strand of her brown hair falling down and she reached up to push it back. "There's...a lot you don't know about me, Ruby. Or about my parents. I'm such a perfectionist because I'm not allowed to be any less." It hurt Regina to say this out loud but maybe once Ruby heard this, she would stop yelling. "And dating...even someone I like, is not in the picture. I'm not allowed to have that until I'm older."

"And you're just okay with it?" Ruby blusters out, shocked to hear this. "What parent wouldn't want their child to be happy? To feel loved and to be loved? Emma's an understanding person. If work is so important to you, than she won't bother you when she's busy. But at least allow her a chance. Allow yourselves a chance to be happy. To be together!"

Regina shook her head. "I don't have the luxury for that."

Ruby stepped in, face mean. "Then you better damn well make sure you do."

That sounded like a threat. Regina was instantly on the defensive. "Or what?"

"Or I'll let the whole school know you took advantage of Emma on her heat. That you're nothing, but one of those dirty low grade alphas even as you tote yourself as being better than everyone else."

Regina gasped. "You wouldn't- you can't just black mail me into a relationship!"

Ruby smirked. "Then you don't know me very well at all, do you." And she walked away, leaving Regina with an increasingly difficult situation on hand.

* * *

Regina decided she wouldn't let Ruby's black mail scare her off. Everyone knew of Regina's reputation. She was a good student and a good person. Surely they wouldn't believe Ruby's lies. Besides, it wasn't like Ruby had any physical proof.

But then again, Regina knew all too well how gossip hungry teens were and how they would lap up this besmirch of Regina's name eagerly. They would enjoy hearing the golden girl's downfall.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place, Regina opted for avoiding Ruby and Emma for now.

Regina was intent on ignoring Emma and everything to do with her, but she could not help the way her eyes would linger on Emma in the halls, or on her empty seat when it came time for tutoring. It was during one of these longing gazes that Emma saw Merida touching Emma. It was too intimate for a casual touch. Regina's alpha jealously flared up.

Who was that woman? Thinking she could just up and touch her omega like that? Before Regina could even comprehend it, she was striding angrily over, and jerking Emma away from Merida without explanation.

"Ouch, what the fuck?" Emma wriggled free from Regina's tight hold as the brunette dragged her to the staircase. Regina let go with a gasp when she realized what she had done. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Mean to what? Did you get jealous seeing me with Merida?"

Regina didn't answer the accusation, embarrassed by her own actions.

"Regina, you can't do this! You can't reject me and then get mad when I'm trying to move on!" Emma exclaimed. "Make up your mind. What do you want?!"

Regina was taken aback by Emma's anger. Her heart hurt, pounding dreadfully in her chest. Seeing Merida touching Emma. Laughing with her...had inspired such jealousy and hatred in Regina that she had almost lunged at Merida, wanting to punch her until she understood the message that Emma was Regina's.

The strength of those emotions left Regina breathless. She had never felt this way about anyone before and it was kinda scary. "You! I want you!" she blurted out, still on edge, chest heaving with barely restrained emotion. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you, and it's so...so confusing," she confessed, Emma's face softening in light of those confessions.

"You do?" she asked softly. She was no stranger to be wanted by other women. But this was different. This wasn't just for a quick fuck. Emma and Regina had already slept together many times and it was entirely different from any other time Emma had had sex. There was a depth there. A deep care that Emma couldn't feel for others, or she hadn't felt from others for her.

Regina bit her bottom lip. She was mortified to say all this, but it hurt too much being away from Emma, especially when she knew how their bodies would sing when they were together. Not even in the intimate manner, but just being close by. "I do," she said softly. Ruby's threats be damned; the leggy brunette didn't need to resort to them when Regina resolve's caved in so easily.

"Then you can't treat me the way you do. If you like me you need to show me by dating me, properly," Emma insisted.

Regina's mouth flapped open and closed. "Emma, I would. But my mother and her expectations-"

"She doesn't have to know-"

"But she will, if we just date out in the open."

Emma narrowed her eyes. "Are you ashamed of me?"

Regina shook her head. "No, I'm not." Maybe at the beginning she had been a touch ashamed for liking someone who was below her status- but those were all just ideas ingrained into her head by her mother who told her Regina should always be dating up so she could make use of her mate's resources and use them for her own gains.

Regina didn't necessarily want that. She wanted to marry for love. For happiness.

"Then why-"

"Because, Emma," Regina ground out, as the bell for class rang over their heads. They were both going to be late. It probably didn't bother Emma as much as it did Regina. "My mother is not someone to be trifled with. We'll talk later about this," Regina added hastily and rushed off to class. Emma stood there, watching Regina go.

She knew Regina's mother was tough, but now, she began to wonder, was she abusive as well?


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: Meant**

_Two weeks later_

Regina opens the door before the bell can ring, finding Emma on the other side.

"Well, someone couldn't wait," Emma teases, lowering her hand from where she had been about to ring the bell. Regina rolls her eyes at this. Why does Emma have to be so antagonistic. Dating her has not stymied the way she loves to push Regina's buttons.

Sometimes Regina still can't believe she and Emma are actually dating. It all feels so surreal.

"Just get inside, before I reconsider," Regina says, letting the blonde in before closing the door. Emma's got bags with her full of chips. Regina doesn't really eat junk food, but she finds herself making an exception for Emma. Just a few won't set back Regina's diet, right?

"What movie did you pick?" Emma asks. "I know I said I would watch anything with you, even a boring history documentary but I kinda hope it's not that, for the sake of my sanity."

Regina rolls her eyes again. "A movie like that would help your sanity not worsen it. But no, I picked a fairly recent film. I do watch mainstream garbage too you know."

"Wow, I did not know that you would lower yourself to watch such trash."

"Emma, shut up," Regina groans but she's not upset. Even if Emma's annoying, it feels nice to know that they can banter this way now. That after everything they've been through, they're okay.

They go to the living room where the full screen TV is set up with the movie. Regina has bowls with which she pours the chips in. They settle down on the couch next to each other and start the movie up, Regina draping the blanket over them. She's never had anyone over like this before. Never had a girlfriend before. It's all so new to her and she's nervous.

Emma seems calm. She probably has more experience with this sort of thing than Regina does. Regina tries hard not to think about that because it makes her chest feel tight with jealousy. Especially thinking about that Merida girl. Emma was Regina's!

Regina quickly shook her head. Why was her alpha side so possessive? Was this normal? She and Emma had only had one mating session and they hadn't even given each other the bite so Emma didn't even truly belong to Regina and yet Regina wanted to lay claim to her.

Regina needed to get her hormones under control. It was too soon for a mating claim. And even if she wanted to do one, she was in no position to do so. Then everyone would know she and Emma were dating. No one could know. Regina liked Emma but she liked people not knowing more. Because if people knew word would get back to her mother and then...well, it wouldn't be good.

The two of them sat down on the couch and Regina set the movie on. She'd picked a superhero movie, one the two of them could enjoy together. Emma immediately began to snack on the chips with one hand, being super careful not to get crumbs on Regina's couch, other hand wrapped around Regina's shoulders and pulling her close. Regina inhaled as subtly as she could. She loved Emma's scent. It was so sweet unlike the omega. Emma was tough and she wasn't a pushover. She wasn't like the typical omega and Regina appreciated that. She disliked omegas who played into the stereotypes and let alphas misuse them. Maybe Regina had such a strong dislike of this because of how her mother treated her father? He was kind and caring and he did whatever she told him too, even if he didn't want to. Regina wished he'd stand up for himself more.

Regina was only half paying attention to the movie, distracted by her turbulent thoughts, when she felt Emma nuzzling into her cheek. She turned her head around, question forming on her lips to check if Emma needed something when she feels Emma's lips brush against hers. Her green eyes are darkened and she faintly tastes like pretzels. Regina doesn't know what Emma wants but it becomes clear to her when Emma brushes her lips softly against Regina's again and Regina holds back a happy little whimper. They both forget the movie as Regina allows her body to melt into Emma's as Emma takes command of their impromptu couch make out session.

Emma kisses her slowly, thoughtfully, that one arm against Regina tightening around her, other hand laying hot on Regina's thigh. Regina can feel herself hardening and she curses herself for not wearing pants but a skirt. Emma ends up catching Regina's bottom lip in between hers and biting down on it. Regina groans, every sense brought to the edge with that. She is hyperaware of Emma within seconds, her body clamoring for more. How is it that Emma can get Regina to act like this? Like nothing in this world matters but Emma's body?

She wants more. Does Emma too?

Regina can smell the sex pheromones rushing through the air, making her dizzy. It's like the last time Emma's scent called to her and they spent all night in bed while Regina practiced giving Emma her knot.

Emma scoots closer, tighter, her hand crawling up dangerously on Regina's thigh. Regina's hands pull her up and into her lap where Emma hovers just so above Regina's erection. But even like this, Regina can feel the heat of Emma's core.

"Good alpha," Emma finds herself saying and is rewarded when she feels Regina shivering under her. Oh, did Regina like that sort of thing? Emma presses more kisses down the column of Regina's neck now. "So good," she murmurs. "Such a good alpha, all for me."

Regina moans low at that, her eyes slipping closed and her hand in Emma's blonde locks tightening harshly as Emma continues to suck and kiss her way down Regina's neck in an unhurried manner. Her free hand is rubbing Regina's thigh under her skirt.

Regina doesn't know why, but it feels so good when Emma praises her. There's a fog of lust over her mind that makes it hard for her to focus on anything else other than Emma right now. The movie is long forgotten as her cock throbs with need for attention. She nearly sobs in joy when Emma fully lowers her weight onto her lap right on top of Regina's erection.

With the way Emma's straddling Regina's lap, it's not long till she senses Regina's hardening excitement. Emma is pleased by this development, making sure to rock down her hips. She's getting wet and she knows Regina is going to be able to smell it soon. Emma hadn't meant to want to sleep with Regina. She had just planned to watch the movie, cuddle and make out a bit. But she can't seem to stop. Regina's lips are like heroin. Once she started kissing she couldn't stop, not until she had all of Regina.

She mouthed her way back up to Regina's mouth, kissing her hard and rucking hands through hair, messing up Regina's perfect hair. They're both breathless and eager.

"Emma I don't have a condom," Regina tells her when she feels the blonde fumbling for the skirt's zipper.

"That's alright. I'll just take the after pill like last time."

"You really shouldn't be relying on those like that." Regina had some common sense left to say; a common sense that was rapidly failing at the prospect of mating with Emma again.

"Talking, later," Emma grits out, nipping a spot on Regina's neck that has the alpha shutting up quick enough. Emma finally shimmies the skirt off of Regina, before she works on getting her own pants off. She gets up from Regina's lap, sliding down her pants impatiently. Long pale legs are revealed which have Regina growing harder in excitement as Emma finally climbs back on.

There's no doubt. They're going to have sex on this couch and Regina wants it to happen just to stick it to her mother that she did something like this right under her nose, right on her prized couch. Who knew rebelling would feel so good? She lies down flat as Emma goes to crawl over her. Regina's cock is straining in her panties, ready to be free. Emma does the honors of slowly rolling down the waistband elastic until it springs forth, leaking with precum.

With a harsh swallow, Emma tosses the underwear away and crawls up so that her slit is lined up over Regina's straining cock. Emma's already so wet she doesn't need much preparation. Regina's hands go to her hips, just staying there, allowing Emma to go at her own pace.

Emma looks at Regina's half naked form. Her nipples are hard nubs through her white shirt and her cheeks are flushed red with arousal. Emma still can't believe she's dating Regina. That she gets to fuck her. For too long she's never had her feelings accepted and now that she is, it feels amazing. Just like having Regina inside her will feel.

She lowers herself down slowly, circling her hips on Regina's tip and feeling the precum slipping free at that. Regina bites her lower lip but holds still as Emma slips the tip in with a bit more force.

It's always a tight fit when Regina's inside Emma. Regina is big and Emma's tight and they have to go slow at first, inch by inch, watching as gravity helps Emma drop down and take Regina inside her. The spread is slow and it slightly burns but Emma doesn't mind. She loves the feel of Regina spreading her apart. The warm thickness of her. She can't wait until Regina's cumming inside her, filling her up with her love.

Emma sucks in her bottom lip as she adjusts. Regina's hands are dainty and yet strong, nails painted pink, and holding her down. Just thinking about how feminine Regina was made Emma chuckle. She was definitely no stereotypical alpha except for one area. One notably large area that Emma was sitting on right now.

She let her inner muscles clench around the rigid member inside her and enjoyed the erotic expression it brought to Regina's face, the alpha's back arching up a bit, enough so that she could plant a kiss into Emma's clothed cleavage. She peppered more kisses there as she let Emma adjust to her girth.

And then she laid back down, slowly thrusting her hips upwards.

"Fu..." Emma bit off. Somehow, Regina felt even bigger at this angle.

"Maybe I should do that more often," Regina teases as she continues her soft and slow methodical thrusting. She still can't get over how warm and silky inside Emma is. "Seems to be the one thing that shuts you up."

"Don't get cocky, alpha," Emma grunts as she begins to pick herself up a bit higher before sliding back down on the alpha's cock. "I'm gonna fuck you so good, you won't be able to stop saying my name."

The threat sends a warm thrill down Regina's back and her hips buck up harder. She would be lying if she didn't say that sounded appealing. She wanted to forget about school, college, and her mother. All she wanted to think about was Emma right now.

Their pace began to pick up now, though it was still languid. Despite being teens, they wanted to take their time, get to explore their bodies. They had fucked quickly during Emma's heat. Now, they were not beholden to that. Regina's eyes lidded with pleasure, watching as Emma's breasts jiggled with the up and down motions, her stomach flexing with each rise up and down. Emma was now lifting up until only Regina's head was inside her before dropping down with a wet smack.

Pretty soon, given Emma's facial expression, it was apparent she would come. Her inner muscles were getting tighter, harder for Regina to fuck through. She had to thrust harder to get in and out until Emma dropped down on Regina's waist and began to ground herself around the base of Regina's cock, stimulating her clit.

"Mphm. Fuck," she groaned out as she came, blonde locks tumbling down her back as she shook, nails digging into Regina's shoulders to hold on. Regina felt her cock throbbing in time with Emma's contractions, wanting to release inside her. But she held on, biting the inside of her cheek. She wanted to impress the omega with her stamina for some reason.

When Emma came down from her elation, Regina began the process of thrusting upwards again, this time harder. Emma moaned as Regina's stiff rod hit all the same good spots inside her. Her wetness trickled out, making it easier for Regina to glide in and out of her. Still a bit tired from her orgasm, Emma met Regina's hip motions, their pelvis' making wet slapping noises now. Emma could see that Regina's chest was heaving with exertion, breaths getting more shallow. Emma wanted to feel the alpha cum inside her. She shuddered when she recalled how amazing it had felt last time to have her inner walls painted white. To be stuffed with it.

Inspired by that Emma began to hump down harder, contracting her inner muscles to try and make Regina cum faster.

Regina's cheeks were red now and her hands came to Emma's hips, nails digging in. "I'm going to cum soon," she said breathlessly. "I need to pull out."

"I told you I'm fine," Emma breathed out, Regina red hot inside her. She squeezed down even harder.

Regina groaned. "I know but I'm not-"

"And I said I'd take the pill after. Now be a good alpha and cum inside your omega," Emma ordered.

It wasn't exactly dirty talk but it worked the same for Regina. Her head snapped back as she hilted her hips upwards into Emma, cumming hard. Rope after rope of cum filled Emma who came at the feeling of being filled again. Her omega side keened at the alpha's release and she clamped down with her inner muscles, trying to milk it all.

At last, with a soft groan, Regina finished, relaxing back against the couch. Her dick began to lose some of the hardness inside Emma but didn't go down completely. That was exciting. Emma leaned down and kissed Regina on her full lips. "It seems you still have a round left in you," she murmured against Regina's mouth, feeling gravity take affect on the cum inside her as it began to leak out.

"It seems I do. But can you handle me?" Regina teased lightly.

Emma nipped her bottom lip in reprimand. "You may be the alpha but don't forget whose on top. Me." She could feel Regina's cock inside her perk up at this and chuckled. Seemed Regina got off to something like this. Emma got up off of Regina, the alpha's cock sliding out of her. "Let's take this to the shower. I don't wanna make too much of a mess on your couch."

Emma hurried up the stairs to where Regina's bedroom was, taking her top and bra off on the way. She could feel Regina's sticky release on her thighs and hurried so she wouldn't make a mess. Regina was behind her, taking off her top and bra in a less hurried manner, before putting it on her bed. She bent down to pick up Emma's discarded clothing and folded it on the bed too. Inside her bathroom, the shower ran.

"You coming?" Emma called out and Regina chuckled at the wordplay but didn't comment on it. She went inside, finding herself momentarily taken by the full naked body of Emma. Her cock hardened all over again, throbbing with an uncomfortable fullness. Emma's breasts were small but perk, pink nipples hard. And she had abs, not too overly defined but just enough for Regina to run her tongue over. She stepped in under the lukewarm spray and kissed Emma hard as Emma palmed Regina's own naked breast.

"Fuck, these are soft," she groan out against Regina's lips, squeezing down extra hard on Regina's captured tit. "And this, is hard," she added, grabbing Regina's cock with her other hand and squeezing it too. Regina's hips jumped at the touch, as she hissed, over stimulated.

"I want to taste you, lick my way down the valley of your breasts and to your stomach," Regina confessed at their tongues intertwined. The water pattered on her back, making their skin slippery and the floor too.

"Fuck me first, and if you're a good alpha, I'll let you do that," Emma commanded, letting go of Regina's skin, and Regina perked up at hearing that. She pressed Emma against the wall to get good leverage and then sloppily thrust in. She missed the first time, hissing in annoyance and used her hand to line herself up. The second thrust was better and she got halfway before the awkward angle made it harder for her to get in. She lifted up Emma's left leg and this made it easier for her to go in. She began to thrust hard and fast, wanting to satisfy Emma so she could taste her as a reward.

In the shower they were even louder, their joined grunts echoing off of the walls. Emma's nails dug into Regina's skin, her mouth latched onto her neck and sucked hard. Regina's eyes fluttered shut at the sensation and she grabbed Emma's ass hard, tugging her closer to her as they rocked harder still. Eventually, Regina started knotting. Emma felt it before she did.

"Knotting me again? You like me that much?" Emma teased as Regina grunted, all her focus on getting her knot inside. She knew she shouldn't, but the primal part of her demanded it to happen. With the added help of the water from the shower clinging to Emma's body, Regina was able to get in. Emma was a bit looser from the sex before and the knot slid in with a soft pop. Immediately Regina came. Emma came not soon after, moaning at the feel of being full of Regina's warm cum. Their cries of ecstasy spiraled through the air until they finally came down from their high.

They were stuck in the shower like this now until the knot went down. "Do you think you can make it to your bed?"

The bed was only out the door since Regina was using her private shower. Regina nodded her head and indicated for Emma to lift both her hips around Regina's waist. Like this, they began the slow trek out the shower, Emma snapping the shower off on the way and grabbing a towel for them.

Regina placed Emma down as gently on the bed as she could, laying on top of her. Emma wrapped the towel around their wet forms as they decided to wait the knot out.

"I'm so glad we decided to do this," Emma said, a serene expression on her face.

"Do the movie?" Regina asked, not quite following.

"Well, yes, but also, that we decided dating together. I really like you," Emma said earnestly, cupping Regina's cheek in her hand.

"I like you too," Regina smiled down at her, kissing the inside of her palm.

After the debacle, they had decided to talk it out several times, to get an understanding between themselves. Regina had feelings for someone else for the first time ever and she would be remiss to not know how it felt to love someone and be loved. So, behind her mother's back, she would be dating Emma. Emma didn't mind the secrecy. She understood. She wouldn't tell anyone but Ruby. And she would do everything she could to keep this secret. Which meant acting like normal at school but hanging out with each other outside of it. So far, it had worked. And Regina was happier than she ever was in a long, long, time.

They rested in each other's arms, taking comfort from being together.

The knot deflated, all of Regina's cum flooding out and onto her sheets. She'd have to wash those. But what could she and Emma do now? Did they continue watching the movies? "Emma, what do you want to do?" she asked. Emma got a coy look on her face.

"Well...I did say you could taste me after you fucked me," she said, spreading her legs out and revealing her wet and slightly swollen pussy lips. She laid down, open to Regina. "Come and taste all of me."

And who was Regina to resist that?

* * *

Emma ended up staying the night. As the blonde slumbered, the moonlight through the windows turning her hair silver, Regina was awake and berating herself. She'd gotten Emma the after pill but she shouldn't have to.

Damn it. Regina had done something so stupid again. Why did she always lose control of her inner alpha when Emma was around? They shouldn't keep having unprotected sex. She'd have to invest in some condoms for the next time Emma came around.

**A/N: I'm playing around a bit with gendered norm expectations of the a/b/o world. Emma's an omega but she likes being in charge and she's the more masculine of the two, always wearing pants and not expressing any desire to settle down. Regina's the alpha and yet she's confident but not in the cocky way that Emma is which would normally be reserved for alphas. Regina is the more feminine of the two and she is very poised and controlled for an alpha (except when Emma's kissing her) and also submissive in several ways.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: To Be?**

Two months. Two glorious months of dating Emma. It all felt like a dream, the only thing marring it, the notion that Regina was graduating soon.

"You pick a school yet?" Emma asked as Regina shifted through her large pile of acceptance letters. They were at Emma's house, relaxing after school had let out. Columbia had been the only school to reject Regina and Regina had been too ashamed to mention the rejection to even Emma. She didn't want Emma to think her less than perfect even now as they dated.

"Hm, I think I've settled on one," Regina said, deep in contemplation before jerking her head up. "Are you not worried?"

"Worried?" Emma tore her eyes from the TV, mouthful of popcorn. She swallowed it down. "Worried about what?"

"My graduation," Regina said, a bit astonished Emma had never really thought this over. "I'm leaving this school soon, Emma. Possibly somewhere far away from Maine. We won't see each other on a daily basis, we won't come over to each others houses. We won't be able to kiss whenever we want to."

"I don't really like to think about that," Emma said softly, averting her gaze.

"But we do need to talk about it," Regina stressed. "Now, more than ever. I'm only going to be in high school for one more month; you've still got two more years. And even if we have the summer together, then what?"

"We can just do long distance," Emma shrugged. "It won't be that hard."

Regina huffed, pushing back a strand of her hair. It was getting long, she had to cut it. "You underestimate how hard it is to be in a high demanding college, Emma. I'm afraid that I won't be able to come visit you on breaks, or be able to call you or facetime you-"

"Hey, chill," Emma put a warm hand on Regina's lap, releasing soothing hormones into the air. "You're going to worry yourself to death. You worried yourself about your mother finding out about us and she still hasn't. So, I think if we can date in secret, then we can work out long distance."

"Are you really not worried?" Regina asked, wondering if this was because Emma wasn't as heavily invested in their relationship as she was.

"I am," Emma admitted, retracting her hand so she could fiddle with her hands on her own lap. "But thinking about it nonstop isn't going to help either of us. We can make it work. It'll be rough, for sure, but we can make it work." How could Emma be so confident? Have so much assurance in their relationship? Maybe it was because was _Emma_ and she just took things in stride.

Regina inhaled sharply, willing herself to relax. "Right. You're right."

Emma smiled. "Wow, I think this is the first time you've told me I'm right," Emma said. "Can I hear it again? Just to boost my ego?" she batted her eyes playfully.

Regina shook her head in amusement. "I've got to get back to alphabetizing my list of pros and cons for each college."

"Or you could just pick the one you feel is correct."

"What do you mean?"

"I know you've visited each campus location. Haven't you felt...I dunno, like a connection with the campus? Felt like you could fit right in?"

Regina contemplated this, tapping her pen against her lips. "Hmmm, I was more invested in the academics and the programs they offered. I didn't really look around."

"Well then out goes that method," Emma sighed. "Seriously, don't stress too much. I'm sure you'll do amazing in any school you go to."

"When it gets time for you to graduate, you'll see it's not that simple, Emma."

"I didn't even care about college until you made me," Emma replied, crunching down on more popcorn. "And the only reason I would ever apply to a community college is because of you."

"Emma, that is the bare minimum school. You can afford a better college. You're smarter than you give yourself credit for."

It never got tiring hearing Regina compliment her. Emma smiled. "Yea, but I don't have the finances to afford private schools like you do," she said, a touch wistfully. Regina was suddenly reminded of their stark financial backgrounds and she thinned her lips and went back to making her lists as Emma watched the action film on TV.

* * *

Things were still tense between Regina and Kathryn. Ever since that odd dinner, the blonde had been oddly subdued around Regina, avoiding her gaze and opting to take her lunches by herself who knows where. It all concerned Regina greatly but she had didn't know how to go about this. Why was Kathryn upset with her? Had Regina somehow hurt her feelings?

And the worst part of this was she couldn't ask anyone for advice on it. Especially not Emma.

"Do you know what's wrong with Kathryn?" Ursula asked, eyeing Regina like this was all her fault. And it was. Regina squirmed in her seat.

"I'm not sure. She won't talk to me," Regina confessed. "Is she talking to you all?"

"Yes, she does. She's just pointedly avoiding you," Mal deduced. They all looked like vultures, hungry to hear what had occurred. But Regina herself wasn't sure. Regina gave a hapless shrug.

"I tried to ask her what's wrong but she just gets this sad look in her eyes and walks away. I think maybe she just needs some time," Regina sighed out.

"You'd better fix whats wrong, Regina. You've got less than a month left and I'm sure you wouldn't want to leave things on a sour note."

That added to the guilt that Regina already felt. "Yea," she sighed softly, picking at her salad. "I know. She's just not making it easy." Regina also should be trying harder to fix things but she was so wrapped up in her new relationship with Emma and with picking out a school that she just couldn't find as much time as she'd like to track down Kathryn who was purposefully going out of her way to avoid Regina.

It stung, that their long friendship was but reduced to this pettiness.

Besides, there was still the issue of the engagement she wanted to figure out about. Was it broken off? Or was it still on? She dearly hoped Kathryn had talked her parents out of it.

A buzz resounded from within Regina's pocket and she took out her phone. It was a text from Emma, telling her to met her by the janitor's closet in the back hallway of the school. It was the hallway kids went to to make out or skip class since it was dimly lit and not used often.

**I need you** the test read and Regina got up, her alpha side raring to protect her omega from whatever had befallen her.

"Where are you going?" Cruella asked, too curious for her own good.

"I need to deliver something to the teacher. I'll be back soon." And she left, throwing her lunch on the way out. When she got to the back hallway she found Emma leaning against the wall, fidgeting. Her scent was strong, filling the stifled school air. Immediately Regina knew what was going on, her body responding to it first.

Emma was about enter heat.

"Emma, are you okay?" she asked, stopping a safe distance away even as her mouth filled with saliva. Emma hugged her arms around her. She was shivering but it had nothing to do with cold. Her skin was lightly flushed.

"I think I'm going to go into heat," she confessed in a quiet voice. "And I know I shouldn't have called you because it's unfair to tempt you like this, but I just reacted and typed to you first."

Regina nodded her head, focusing on the wall behind Emma's head so she wouldn't be tempted to take her in her arms and kiss her softly. And then hard, as she pushed into her, taking her lips and pressing her body into her. Taking her in this hallway so everyone would know Emma was hers. "It's fine." She assured in a slightly strangled voice as she tried to control herself.

"Can you get me a heat pill?" Emma asked. "It's in my locker but I'm too afraid to go near students like this. I might be too tempting to them," she said.

"I'll get you one," Regina said. And she whirled off, setting about her vital mission. She cracked open the locker combination and even got a bottle of water for Emma to take the pill with. She was a bit shaken by Emma's strong scent and barely paid attention to anything else but getting back to Emma.

Hurrying back with the pill for Emma, she didn't notice someone's curious eyes on her. Those eyes followed her as she went back to Emma, giving the blonde the pill and water.

Emma took it gratefully, sneaking in a kiss on Regina's lips when she finished. "Thank you, for helping me."

"Of course," Regina said softly, intertwining their fingers as they waited for the pill to take affect. "You're my girlfriend." Regina watched as Emma's face broke out into a smile at that. It was the first time she had said this out loud. It felt nice to do so.

They both missed the horrified gasp, only soft enough that the person who emitted it could hear it.

* * *

Regina begins to notice something off about their relationship not shortly after Emma goes through her heat, the both of them deciding to stay away from each during this time so as not to fall into bed like crazy with each other, when Regina has so many graduation things to focus on.

Emma had been acting odd, ever since last week. Regina couldn't tell why. Had she done something to offend her? But when she tried to ask about it after school, Emma only shrugged and said 'it must be hormones'. Regina trusted her so she didn't delve deeper. Surely, Emma was the more emotionally expressive one, so if something truly was the matter, Emma would tell her.

Regina would be patient and make sure to give her space. Because it seemed that Emma was even reluctant to show any outward affection. She tolerated Regina's hand holding and turned her face so Regina's kisses would linger on her cheek and not on her lips.

**Are you coming over today?** Regina texted.

She had to wait thirty minutes which was unlike Emma, before she got a response. Emma was usually a quick responder. Had she been busy? The text said 'not today. Busy'

Regina frowned but decided she would leave it at that. Maybe something important had come up for Emma. Regina settled down to do her work.

But when Regina got to school that day, she had wished she hadn't given up so easily, wished that she had decided to text Emma back.

"What do you mean, Emma dropped out of school?" Regina cried out, aghast when a sober Ruby approached her in the halls after school. Emma hadn't been in all day and hadn't answered any of Regina's texts. It was enough to make Regina sweat with worry, losing focus in her classes as she worried about what bad things could have happened.

"I mean that she texted me she was and that nothing I could say could stop her," Ruby explained and Regina felt her world spin around her. She leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths. Hands on her knees.

"Why didn't she say anything to me?"

Ruby shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know why she did this. I'm as much shocked as you."

"At least she texted you," Regina said bitterly, knowing she shouldn't be taking out her anger at Ruby but unable to hold herself back.

"Oh, sweetie," Ruby sighs and leans against the wall next to Regina. She slings an arm around her and brings her to her chest as Regina cannot stop the torrent of silent tears that come from her.

* * *

Regina tries to search for Emma. She really does. She goes over to her house, finds a way to contact her adoptive parents, who are just as lost as she is to what happened.

They even come back to help out in the search, putting up missing fliers around town, alerting the police. "We really don't know where she could have gone," the mother says.

"She didn't tell us anything was wrong. Why would she run away?" the father asks, ripping at his hair.

Regina fails and tries not to worry over this. There had to be a good reason for this. Emma had to come back, right? She wouldn't just up and leave. She'll be there for Regina's graduation, at least, right?

Regina finds herself slowly becoming a ball of pain and hurt, and of too many questions. She's mad at Emma for doing this. For treating her so callously. And she's worried for her, for where she could be, for what she could be doing. There has to be a good reason for Emma moving. She wouldn't just up and leave, would she?

Regina becomes close to Ruby, the two of them trying to piece together clues and find Emma. Regina has texted Emma a thousand times all in varying degrees of pleading with Emma to come back, yelling at her for being a coward, telling her how much she loves her. None of it works. She doesn't get a text back, and pretty soon, Ruby realizes she won't get a text back either. Their only way of knowing Emma is safe is cut off when Emma informs that she's ditching the phone so the police can't track her.

And then when Ruby texts back with expletives to not do this, there's no response.

"I don't understand," Regina whispers to herself, on the ratty bed at Ruby's house. She places her knuckles up against her mouth, curls her legs up to her chest. "How could she just do this? Is this my fault?"

Ruby touches her on the shoulder. "It's not your fault. It's not."

"Then why?" Regina whispers, tears in her eyes. She hates crying in front of others but she can't help it. She's overwhelmed with so much emotion. It hurts to feel this way. And it's all Emma's fault. How could she do this to her? Was she even safe? What was she up to?

"Just keep strong," Ruby says, handing Regina a box of tissues. "We'll get through this together."

* * *

Regina is barely able to concentrate on her graduation, but she pulls herself together because she knows mother will be there and she can't be seen as weak. So, she forgets about everything that has happened, pushes it to the back of her mind as she strides up the stage, hair coiffed perfectly under her graduation cap, makeup done lightly, and dress underneath matching her shoes and nail polish. She delivers her valedictorian speech with gratis and barely even hears the wild cheering as she smiles plastically and gets off and lines up among the other students so the ceremony can begin.

It goes by quickly, and in a blur. All Regina can remember is shaking hands, smiling for photos and applause and going back down. She knows everyone is happy, genuinely so, some even crying tears of happiness and promising to keep in touch. Regina's plastic grin just stays in place. Emma should have been here, in the audience but she's gone.

Regina takes in a shaky breath as the hot press of tears crowd her eyes. She blinks quickly to do away with emotion because mother is striding closer as parents and friends mingle around. Father is trailing behind, holding flowers for Regina.

"Congratulations, darling," he tells her and leans down to kiss her on the cheek as he gives her the flowers.

"Thanks," she smiles, taking the flowers and smelling them.

"Your speech was good, but I do have a few pointers on it," Cora says briskly and what little good mood Regina had mustered up, drops down to the ground and melts. Still, her smile stays up even as her eyes dim. "Of course, mother."

"We have a reservation at six for a restaurant. Order anything you'd like."

The surprises Regina. Since when has Cora been so lenient with food? Whenever she's around she calls Regina fat and puts her on a strict diet. "Really?" Regina asks, hopefully.

Cora offers a barely there smile. "I am in a charitably good mood as of late because something good happened. And, it's your graduation. I suppose you can take a little break before you begin getting ready for college."

Regina nods her head and follows her parents to dinner, leaving the cheering of the celebrating families behind.

* * *

The pain lessens a bit but never entirely leaves. Regina and Ruby spend the summer together more often than not, looking at clues as to where Emma could be. Neither wants to give up, but its clear they don't have much to go on. Even the cops are giving up, labeling Emma's case as closed.

"You're her best friend, you're supposed to know everything about her," Regina exclaims in frustration when they hit a dead wall again.

Ruby isn't phased by this display of aggression. She takes a swig of her beer, watching Regina pacing angrily. "And you were her girlfriend. You should know too."

Regina frowns at that. She tucks back a strand of hair behind her ear only for it to pop back out again. She's cut her hair on her mother's orders. It's so short now that Regina can't do anything with it, other than let it be free with the breeze.

"We didn't...talk much," Regina says with a blush.

"Ooo, kinky," Ruby grins and Regina shoots a glare at her before plopping down on the couch next to her. She sighs heavily. "What if she's...hurt?" Regina questions in a quiet voice.

Ruby shrugs. "Emma is Emma. I trust her to be okay. She's a foster kid, she's seen some bad shit, and she's lived on the streets before. She's fine."

"I wish I could be as confident as you are about this. Living on the streets isn't good for anyone. What about when winter comes? Then what?"

Ruby offers another hapless shrug. "She could be in another foster home for all we know. They could have taken her back for all we know and she just didn't want to tell us to spare out feelings."

Regina leans her head back against the rough couch. "She was going to be a soccer star."

"Yea," Ruby sadly agrees. "She was."

* * *

Kathryn surprises Regina by showing up at her house one evening, unannounced. Just ringing the doorbell. Regina's parents are out on town doing some shopping so Regina opens the door and doesn't know what to say.

"Hi," Kathryn offers sheepishly as they both stand and stare at each other, the moths flying around the porch light.

"What are you doing here?" Regina asks at last. She's a bit of a mess right now, having been busy packing for college. She's leaving in a week.

"I, um, wanted to talk. Can I come in?" Kathryn asks and Regina is reminded of how girlish she is, shifting on her heeled feet, gripping the edges of her skirt, hair curled down over her shoulders.

"No," Regina finds herself saying, blinking in mild shock at her own mouth. Kathryn looks shocked by this rudeness too but she doesn't say anything to it. Regina steps out, closes the door behind her and crosses her arms over her chest. "I'm busy packing right now, so make it quick."

"Right," Kathryn nods her head. "I, just wanted to say I'm sorry for how I acted to you the past couple of months. I hope we can fix this," she indicated to the rift between them.

Regina is still hurt by how Kathryn treated her, and she's curious as to why she did it in the first place, but Regina doesn't bother to ask. She's just happy Kathryn has finally come to her senses.

"Yes, I'd like to be your friend again," Regina says and Kathryn gives her a small, tentative but hopeful smile.

* * *

College is nothing like high school and Regina loves it. She has more freedom from her mother now more than ever. Which is the reason why she can write letters to Emma. Letters she never sends but just keeps, wishing she could send to the blonde. In it she details what's happening in college, the friends she's making, the grades she's getting, how little sleep there is to be found.

How much she misses Emma. How much she hopes she's safe. Eventually though, Regina gets really busy with her own life and she has less time for thinking about things of the past.

By the time Regina graduates college, she had stopped writing those letters and had stopped looking for Emma.

**A/N: Part two is coming up to this story. It's going to focus on what happens afterwards. I'm curious if anyone has some theories related to what happened with Emma**.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: But **

_A/N: Part two is here! It's gonna be roughly the same length as part one. I saw all your lovely reviews for last chapter, but couldn't respond to them without spoiling the plot. This chapter should start to explain some things..._

The alarm went off at six am on the dot, Regina rising up from Egyptian Cotton sheets and turning it off. Then she slipped out of bed and began to get ready for her day of work. She had a routine she liked to follow. Using the bathroom for 15 minutes, then getting dressed in ten, then going downstairs and brewing her coffee while she perused the news at a quiet volume so as not to disturb the sleeping person upstairs.

Coffee done, she put it in a travel mug and was out her door, keys in hand by 6:30. The drive over to her office only took ten minutes in this small town, regardless if there was traffic or not, most often there not being traffic due to how small this place was.

It was quaint, something Regina hadn't imagined would work for her given her mother's grand ambitions for her. But, Regina had taken the job out of spite to her mother and now it was too late to back out of it. Besides, she liked this small town. She had grown up in it after all and put down some deep roots. She knew everyone and everyone knew her. It made her job so much easier or harder, depending on the day.

She pulled her vintage Mercedes Benz into the parking lot and was in her office by 6:40, setting up her computer, opening the shades, taking out the files she needed, and organizing her planner. She took a moment to sit down behind the grand mahogany desk and sip on her vanilla bean coffee. She let out a low murmur of content.

She was happy where her life was right now. She didn't want much from it. She just wanted to be able to do a good job, help those in need, and feel satisfied from it.

And this job kept Cora away. Cora had grown tired of the small town life and had moved away to LA. This put a whole country in between them and Regina couldn't be happier. They only had to see each other over holidays and with Regina's father gone five years now, Cora had become even more unbearable. The buffer Regina's father had acted as to stop the chafing between Regina and Cora was no longer there. And given how Regina was older now, she had more of a backbone against her mother than before. A backbone she wished she had developed years ago when she needed it most, but better late than never she supposed.

She and her mother fought, a lot. Vicious fights that left the other bleeding from metaphorical claws being dug into skin. There wasn't a single time they didn't cross their paths that they didn't fight.

Over nothing.

Over everything.

It was maddening. Regina liked to avoid Cora as much as she could if only for her own sanity. But mother was lonely now, only having one person left that she could sink her talons into. Cora had controlled too much of Regina's life, deciding what Regina should eat, wear, even what hobbies she should like. Regina was over it now. She would not let it happen any longer.

College had given her the strength she needed, though, to this day there were still some things that Regina could simply not talk her mother out of her. In those cases, she had to fold for her mother wasn't above using down and dirty tactics to hurt Regina and twist her into doing what she wanted. It was why Regina had tried to hide as much of her personal life from her mother as she could. In this way, her mother would not have the ammunition needed to hurt her.

As she looked at her ring, Regina feels old and new feelings mingle together on this one topic she could not get out of no matter what. And maybe she hadn't wanted to, not at the time. Because she had been still reeling from the loss of her secret relationship and she needed something to fill the hole, make her forget, make her know that nothing was wrong with her. That she could love and that her love was good and hadn't been the reason for the disaster of her last relationship. She closed her hand, the elegant band of gold winking sadly.

By 7:00 am, Regina is finally all set up to do her work, and her secretary calls her in, asking if she needs anything to start her day.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you," Regina says over the intercom before settling in for a full day of work. She has a lot on her plate today. An afternoon full of meetings, a morning full of paperwork that needs to organized. Regina types away diligently, the sunlight softly streaming into her office. Birds are chirping outside. Everything is running smoothly and she's been super productive when her secretary calls her.

"Ms. Mills, you have a Robin Lockesly requesting to see you."

Regina could barely stifle her groan in time. "What does that insipid man want now?"

"He says he wants to speak with you."

"Does he have a meeting with me?" Regina knew he didn't, but she had to tell the sectary to ask. There's a lull as she does ask Robin and then she answers back. "He says no, but that this is urgent."

Of course. Everything pertaining to him is urgent, Regina thinks with heavy sarcasm. "Tell him I'm busy-"

But she doesn't get to finish because he's striding into her office, barging past the secretary.

"Ms. Mills, I'm so sorry-" the red cheeked girl says as Robin strides in with that cocky stride of his, that remains unbroken by the displeasure evident on Regina's face.

"It's fine," Regina says sourly, dismissing the girl back. Robin's already here. She might as well deal with it. Perhaps she ought to hire a male secretary to keep Robin out.

"Robin," she says coolly, ending the intercom line. "Why are you here?" She doesn't bother to hide her distaste of him. He's pompous and has his head so far up his ass all he can do is talk shit.

"Regina, you look beautiful as ever," he says, southern twang grating on her nerves already much like his compliment.

"We are at work hours, need I remind you, Robin. And such comments are not appropriate."

"Gotcha," he winks at her and she stews in more anger. "Compliments for after work. Like drinks."

"No, not like drinks," Regina cannot stress enough. Sometimes it feels like she's talking to a toddler.

"I'll get us a dinner reservation," he winked again.

"I don't want dinner with you either," she says coldly.

"Well, I can't offer any more than that, right now. But I love the propositioning for something else. It flatters me to know you think we'd be great at sleeping together."

This is just blatant sexual harassment at this point and despite how much Regina would like to throw her stapler at this dumb head, she has to remain composed. She reminds herself, she is better than him and will not stoop to engaging in his vile words.

"Robin, why are you here? You entered my office without permission and are wasting my time. I have some very important things to attend to," she indicated to her computer screen.

"Yes, I know you think writing your little notes is important but I have a huge issue," he said dismissively, shoving his hands deep into his tan suit pockets.

Belittling her work too. Not the first time.

"And what is your big issue, Robin, that it could not wait until later?" she asked, with a hint of exasperation.

"I'm glad you asked," he said and took a seat in front of her, settling in for a long conversation about nonsense. Regina held in another groan.

By the time it was one, Robin had successfully thrown off her whole schedule and bored her to nearly tears talking about his fish farming industry. She couldn't be happier when he finally decided to leave because he had another meeting to get to. He stood up, buttoning up his suit jacket. "We should continue this over dinner," he told her, throwing in another awful wink at the end. Did he think he looked good doing those or something?

"Robin, I am married," she said flashing her hand at him.

"All I see is a ring and not a husband."

"I'm gay," she said flatly, her nostrils flaring with anger. She was going to be arrested for manslaughter any second now if he didn't leave the premises soon.

"Right," he laughed loudly and then left, humming to himself without a care in the world, and with a bounce to his step. Regina stared murderously at his back before turning back to her work which was severely off schedule now.

* * *

Regina is home by six and when she comes inside her lovely mansion, she can smell dinner. She steps in, hanging up her light jacket and setting down her briefcase on the side table before stepping into the kitchen and finding a blonde head faced away from her. For a second Regina imagines, like a ghostly unwelcome thought, that it's-

"Hi!" Kathryn spins around and smiles exuberantly at Regina, holding up both their plates of food, still warm.

"Hello," Regina says, smiling back to hide her momentary sadness and leaning in to peck Kathryn on the cheek.

"How was work?" Kathryn asks as they sit down, beginning to eat.

"The same. Lots of paperwork, having meetings filled with idiots, and Robin bothering me again."

"Doesn't he get that you're married?" Kathryn huffed as she speared a noodle onto her fork.

"You would think the ring would be a big enough clue but it seems he's lost his brain from being out in the sun too long on his yacht, lording over his shrimp."

Robin was a big time fish company CEO who had fishing industries all over the east coast. For some reason he liked to frequent Regina's town even though it only produced small amounts of fish commercially. She really hoped he wasn't going out of his way to be here just for her.

If that was the case she'd have to get a restraining order.

God knows the whole town could benefit from it and his fishy smelling hands.

"What do I have to do? Show up at work when he next appears and show how taken you are?" Kathryn suggested as Regina took out a glass of wine and poured some for the two of them. It was a vintage, aged forty years. It was a red and would be paired excellently with the meal.

"I doubt even that would work," Regina said with a sigh and gulped down her glass before filling another one.

Kathryn giggled at this. "You know, speaking of marriage...it's been six years since we've been married..." Kathryn stated a hint coyly, taking Regina's hand into her own just as Regina plucked up the stem of wine with her other.

"You're not getting what plans I have for our anniversary out of me," Regina stated. "Don't even try." She had something romantic planned for their anniversary this year. She had even taken off a week's worth of time for this.

"That's not what I was alluding too," Kathryn said, lowering her voice. "How about after dinner we finally settle down and have some fun without protection," Kathryn waggled her brows salaciously.

"We never do that," Regina said, finding herself a bit confused by all this.

"I know. Maybe we should."

"I know you're on the pill but there's still a risk-"

"I'm fine with the risk," Kathryn cuts in, letting go of Regina's hand and beginning to look a bit frustrated now. Regina furrows her brows, trying to understand.

"Kathryn..."

"I think it's time," Kathryn quickly states.

"Time?" Regina blinked, lost due to the quick pace of this. "Time for what?"

Kathryn looks mildly exasperated as if Regina shouldn't possibly be this thick given her job but she continues on. "I want children, Regina," Kathryn says bluntly, tired of dancing around the issue. Regina nearly chokes on her wine. She coughs a little bit and sets it down. "Excuse me?"

"Kids," Kathryn repeats more forcefully. "I'm not getting any younger, nor are you, and I want them before it's too late."

Regina is rarely speechless, this is one of the times. "Uh..." she scrambles to find words but her brain is short circuiting. She knows Kathryn is an omega and it's in her biology to want children, but Regina had never thought it would be so soon.

She'd thought she had more time before this came up. Honestly, she's not even sure she's ready for kids. But now that Kathryn has come out so openly on this matter, Regina recalls a few times in the past when Kathryn had tried to get her to opinion on the topic and Regina had causally given a nonchalant answer with no thought behind it.

"Are you...sure?" she questioned. "Kids are a lot of work and I work long hours. Will I even be there for them?"

"Regina, you'll be a great parent," Kathryn soothed, trying to win Regina over. "Besides, you'll have me to watch over them. I can drop my interior designing job so I can spend time with them and take care of them so you can remain in office and do your good work."

Regina sits back, appetite lost. "It's...it's a big decision Kat."

"I know."

"We should talk about this more."

"I'm done waiting," Kathryn stated. "I've waited all this time. Six years is a long time, Regina, to not have your kids."

Regina furrowed her brows up and offered a slightly sheepish look. She had no idea Kat's omega side wanted this so badly. She had always assumed they were going to be one of those kid-less mates. Both of them had been so career oriented and now?

"I didn't know this," Regina said, trying to explain away. "I thought you were fine with what we had."

"I didn't say anything because I didn't want to push you," Kathryn said softly, easing up on Regina. "I know our marriage was arranged and I know you weren't sure going into it, but I want you, Regina. I chose you. My family chose you. It means we must have something special between us."

Regina thinned her lips, wishing she had a better poker face in front of Kat. But Kat had always been her best friend first and foremost. She had been the most understanding one out of all of them. And the one that had stuck around. Mal had gone on to marry William and start up a fashion empire of which she sometimes sent Regina the newest fabrics. Cruella had also gone into fashion and she and Mal were in rivalry. She too sent Regina clothing to try on and show off.

Ursula had gone into something unexpected. She had gone into art despite having hated it in high school. But seemed she was good with trading it and she had made a lot of money from it. They had all moved on and out of Storybrooke, only Regina and Kathryn staying behind.

Why had they stayed behind? Kat did it for Regina and for their arranged marriage. But why had Regina? Had it been because of memories? Because of what she had lost here and desperately hoped would return to her? Was she afraid if she moved too far she'd lose the chance of ever having it again?

But it had been years. Ten, in fact. And she still held out a glimmer of hope from time to time, when she was feeling especially vulnerable. She knew she shouldn't. Even Ruby had given up. The brunette too hadn't left town, only taking over Granny's diner and running it when the woman became too frail to do most of the work.

Was Ruby also waiting for something or was she just a victim of poverty and family duty that she could not leave?

Regina nodded her head. She wasn't entirely convinced she should start a family. Not convinced she deserved it. "Okay. If you really want this..."

"I do," Kathryn said earnestly, their dinner long forgotten between them. Before anything more could be said the doorbell rang. Kathryn groaned out. Who was interrupting her time with Regina? It rang again, and again. Just who was it?

"I'll get it, and then we'll continue this," Regina said, getting up from her seat. She went to the foyer and looked through the peephole. She half expected it to be Robin, coming to take her on the horrid date she had no intention of going to.

Seriously, what was wrong with him? Had the sea rotted his brain?

She's sees someone short on the other end.

"Hello?" Regina opened the door, Kathryn following after her.

"Hi," a brown haired boy who looked to be about ten years old smiled up at her. What was a kid doing here? He had a dufflebag with him and his hair was rumpled like he had woken up on a bus.

"You're not a boy scout, are you," Regina deduced dryly, giving his cheap clothes a look over. He decidedly was not wearing their uniform.

"No, I'm not."

"Are you lost?"

He shook his head no to this.

"Why are you here then?" Regina asked in the least rude way she could.

"I'm here for you," he pointed at Regina, smiling widely at her. "I'm so happy I finally get to meet you!"

Was he a fan of hers? Regina doubted her work had many fans, especially anyone this young.

"Thank you?' she questioned, feeling Kathryn burning up with her own questions.

"I'm Henry," the little boy stuck out his hand. "I'm your son."

Silence.

Absolute silence. Regina isn't even sure she heard right. Behind her Kathryn shifts uneasily.

"When I said kids, I meant our own," Kathryn said coldly and left, leaving Regina still gaping at the kid on her doorstep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Will We**

"Can I come in?" Henry asks and slack jawed, Regina lets him into the house because she doesn't know what else to do. Once there, she shakes herself, visibly rousing herself from this.

"Young man where are your parents," she demands. She knows she has to put out the fire with Kathryn but she needs to deal with this young boy first.

"Young man," he snickers, finding this delightful as he sits down on her couch. "You talk funny. And you have a nice house," he cranes his head upwards and looks at all her expenses. "And it's only Ma and me. I don't have another parent. Until you!" he smiles at her, something so wide and beaming and innocent.

"I have never seen you before in my life. I don't know why you would think I am your other mother," Regina said, unnerved by this situation.

"Ma never really talked about you either. Just mentioned a couple things here and there so when I got older, I got smarter and I did some looking. And I found you on the internet! You're famous, huh," he gushed, looking at her with awe. It made her uncomfortable to be worshiped like this by some child she didn't know but who claimed to be hers.

"I don't mean to crush your dreams but you need to go back home. You've made a mistake. You're not my son. I don't have any children." She needed to be cold and steely.

Henry looked downcast as if realizing that she really wasn't going to budge on this issue. His little face schemed but he did as asked. "I kinda, ran away from home. And my mom doesn't know. I mean, she probably knows by now." Regina winced. This was why she didn't want kids. They were little liabilities walking around!

"I'm not sending you back out alone to go home, especially not at this hour," Regina lectured. "You should be ashamed for doing that. It's dangerous and your mother is probably so worried about you!"

He dropped his head down. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize to me. But to your mother. You shouldn't even be talking to me. I'm a stranger." Regina sighed and relaxed her stern exterior for a second. "Call your mom so she can come get you. You can stay here and wait for her. I don't want you wandering the streets alone."

"Cool, thanks." He rushed over to get the phone so he could dial his mother.

Regina took this time to put away his dufflebag and go upstairs to talk to Kat, even if she did wonder what the boy was talking about. But she was too old and too proper to eavesdrop.

"Kat?" she knocked on the door and had it swing open. It wasn't entirely closed. She took that as it was okay to come in. She found Kat sitting on the bed, looking over their wedding photos. Kat had looked so stunning in her white tailored dress and Regina had been so handsome in her suit. They had been happy on that day. Happy and so nervous.

Regina had been so afraid her nervousness would make her unable to walk down the aisle but somehow she had gone through with it. Kat didn't say anything or turn to look at Regina. So Regina spoke first.

"Kat, I swear to you, I don't know this child and I don't know why he's calling me his parent. I told him to call his mother and get her to pick him up. She should be here at any moment and then this can all get cleared up."

"How old is he?" Kat asks, not looking, voice hoarse.

"I don't know. He looks about eight or nine," Regina said and watched as Kat did the math.

"That would mean this was before our marriage," she stated slowly.

"Yes," Regina nodded her head. "I didn't cheat on you. I never would."

Kat sighed and her shoulders relaxed. She closed the photo album. "Did you sleep with anyone in college?"

"Kat!" Regina gasps, scandalized by Kat's brazen words.

"Answer the question." Kat's voice demands Regina answer.

"I...I'm not sure. I'm not the type to sleep around but I did with one or two beta girls just to...to satisfy some ruts when they got really bad. But none of them were pregnant."

"Are you sure?"

"Considering I checked in with them and saw them around campus for months afterward, I can safely say that yes, they were not."

Kat gets up at this. She doesn't met Regina's eyes. Something's been broken between them but Regina knows it will eventually fix. Kat just feels hurt and she needs a bit of time. Regina is too shocked by the situation to be truly hurt by this mistrust.

Kat goes down to make sure Henry is okay and Regina puts away the photo album. So many happy memories contained in it, but not the ones Regina wants. Those wedding photos, fill her with sorrow and not happiness. Her mother had forced her into this marriage and Regina had been so tired of trying to fight it, so tired of hurting, and so tired of breaking Kat's heart that she had agreed. She closes her eyes and exhales. She needs to stop thinking about the one who got away. But...Henry being on her step...

Could it be...?

No, it couldn't. She coldly squashed the hope in her chest. It was time to let old memories go.

She went downstairs and found Kathryn had turned on some cartoons for Henry and was preparing for him some food.

"No veggies," he tells her and she nods her head absently, thoughts clearly a million miles away.

Regina feels awkward. She doesn't know what to do. Henry spots her and pats the cushion next to him, indicating she should sit down. He is entirely too trusting of people, like someone Regina once knew. "What did your mother say?" she asks, sitting down next to him reluctantly. And carefully, like she is made of glass.

"She'll be here in about three hours. She yelled at me a lot."

"I would hope so, you did something bad."

"I know," he said quietly, looking down remorsefully at his shoes. "But she was sad. And she wouldn't tell me much about you. So I wanted to find you to make her happy."

"I don't know how I could make her happy. I'm married."

He looked down at her ring, noticing it for the first time. He scrunched up his nose. "Okay." And then turned his attention to the TV. Why does she feel heavily judged right now? She thins her lips and goes to see Kat in the kitchen. The woman is almost done preparing some snacks.

"Can you look after him?" she asks. "I have some work I need to finish up before going to bed."

"I will," she responds without looking up at Regina.

"Thank you," Regina murmurs and kisses her on the cheek, knowing that Kat's anger is slightly lessening. Then she goes upstairs to do the leftover work she has no thanks to Robin's interruption into her day.

Kathryn keeps the kid occupied. He said his mother would be up in three hours which leads Regina to believe she lives somewhere on the east coast or she lives close by but is too busy to come right away. Regina would think less of her if the second one is true. She tries to do her reports but she's distracted.

The hour has grown late. It's nearly 12 at night now.

Where is Henry's mother?

Just as she thinks this, there's the sound of a loud rattling motor outside and she shoots up from her seat to look out her window, seeing a yellow Volkswagon in her driveway. Ew. The car looks horrid and like it's going to fall apart. That cannot be safe for Henry. The engine cuts off and Regina goes downstairs, ready to accost this woman for letting her son out of the house. Kat and Henry are waiting in the foyer.

The door bell rings and Regina opens it.

And her world stops.

On her stoop, standing in an equally frozen manner, is Emma.

Emma Swan.

Her old girlfriend.

They just stare lost at each other, Emma's hands tucked back into her jeans. She looks the same, the same and yet different. Her blond hair is in curls down her shoulders, and she's wearing obscenely tight clothing with a garish red leather jacket on top.

She looks older than last they saw each other. There's bags under eyes which make her look weary and tired. Her shirt is a bit rumpled and she has a frazzled energy around her. Henry runs up to her, hugging her around the waist and causing her to tear her eyes from Regina.

"Ma, I found her. I found her!" he exclaims loudly.

Emma looks up cautiously at Regina as if she might say something. But Regina beats her to it. "Next time keep a closer eye on your kid. He might not be so lucky to come across someone charitable." Regina knows she's being vicious but she can't help it. All the old hurt has bubbled up and resurfaced.

"I-" Emma sputters, aghast at Regina's tone.

"Good night," Regina says coldly and slams the door shut. She leans her head against it, shaking. She can feel Kathryn's arms wrap around her from behind, holding her. Regina doesn't know if Kathryn recognizes Emma but if she does, she merely tugs Regina away from the door and to their couch, sitting with her and holding her.

"Who was that?" Kathryn murmurs, hand stroking Regina's hair. It's chin length, the longest she's ever let it grow since college where she had used to wear many braids.

"Someone I thought I recognized," Regina says with a shaky breath. She decides telling Kathryn nothing about the past will be for the better.

"Okay," Kat sighs out and snuggles to Regina closer, who suddenly gets up. "I should got to bed," she says, looking at the time. It's past 12. She should long be in bed but her whole schedule is messed up. She avoids Kat's look of worry and goes upstairs. Before she crawls into bed she looks out the window. The car is gone, and hopefully, the two of them as well, to wherever it was they came from. She doesn't need any disruptions in her life. Not right now.

Not when she has finally come to terms with things and is making the best out of it.

Before she goes to bed, she calls Graham. He picks up quickly, given he's on the midnight shift. "Graham. I need a favor. Can you make sure a woman by the name of Emma Swan has left town."

"Uh, sure," he responds with. "Why? What did she do?"

"I don't have time to fill you in," she snaps. "Just do as I say."

"Got it boss," and he hangs up.

Feeling a bit better, she goes to bed. But even as she lays there, and Kat comes up to join her, she is restless and only falls asleep in the morning just as the day is about to begin. Her dreams are full of laughter and feelings of failure that fill her with stress.

It's no wonder she wakes up cranky the next morning, her attitude only made worse when she oversleeps her alarm and has her whole schedule thrown off wack. Trust Emma Swan to always make her a mess, even indirectly.

Regina rushes over to work, ten minutes late for the first time in her career.

"Ms. Mills, are you alright?" Debby, the Secretary asks. She looks concerned over Regina's tardiness.

"I'm fine," Regina waves off, heading into her office. She's cranky and she doesn't have her coffee. This will be a long day. And it's only made longer, when Graham calls her during lunch break.

"I've got news on Emma Swan. She's booked a room at the Bed and Breakfast for about a week."

"A _week_?" Regina hisses into the phone, elated and yet angry. What is Emma doing, staying here for so long. Is it because of Henry and his beliefs about Regina being his other parent?

Well, given her and Emma's past that wouldn't be unbelievable. But Emma hadn't been pregnant when they dated. So how...?

Maybe when she'd left? Was that the reason why she disappeared? Because of carrying Regina's child? Regina is filled with questions she needs answered now.

"Yea, a week," Graham confirms. "You want me to do something about it?"

"No, I'll handle this myself." She hangs up, decides to forgo her work, and hurries over to the Bed and Breakfast.

On the way over she has no idea how she'll react to seeing Emma again. But at least this time she's more prepared. As she approaches she can see Emma and Henry sitting at a booth in the window. They're laughing at something and Regina almost feels a tug to stand there and watch them through the window. But she has business to attend to. The twinkling of the bell announces her arrival and Ruby meets her eyes across the diner. She pales and gasps and it's enough to draw Emma's attention to Ruby, and follow her gaze to the door where Regina stands in all black in an otherwise half full diner.

Henry smiles when he sees her, jumping out of his seat to go go her. "Did you come by to say hi?"

He is so earnest and naive it hurts. "I came to speak your mother, little boy."

"My name's Henry," he says and she knows it is. Henry, just like her father's name.

"Henry, come here, I'll give you something to do while they talk," Ruby offers and he trots over her, leaving Regina and Emma staring at each other like they are lost. Eventually, Regina sidles over to the booth and slides in from across Emma, shedding her coat.

Emma is silent as she watches this happen.

Done, Regina straightens out her back; the tension is thick and stifling. "What are you doing here?" she asks, watching Emma's reaction with a carefully raised brow.

"Huh, so you do remember me," Emma says slowly. "I thought at the door you didn't."

"It's only natural I remember someone who disappeared and left me with a broken heart before my gradation." Regina's tone is scathing. Any smart person would duck out and run from her if they heard her like this, a storm incoming. But Emma's past tethers her to her seat.

Emma winces at this, and watches Regina's eyes flicker over to Henry whose laughing gleefully at something Ruby is telling him. The tall brunette's eyes cut to them and Regina gives her a scowl back so Ruby looks away.

"You know, the kid is yours," Emma states and Regina twists up her lips. She had figured that much out given some time to think.

"I know," she says softly. He has the same brown hair and brown eyes as her. But he has Emma's smile and her energy. "I just don't know how it happened-"

"Come on," Emma rolls her eyes. "We had sex. A lot."

Regina flushes at this and shushes her to speak quieter. They are in public and she doesn't need her sordid past explained.

"Yes, but I always got you the pills and we eventually used condoms," Regina says in a low voice.

Emma shrugs, leans over her coffee. "I guess something slipped through the cracks and it...just happened."

"And what do you want me to do about it?" Regina asked, not kindly. "Do you want child support or something? Found out that I have a good job and decided to pay me a visit to collect?" She feels the urge to fiddle with her hands so she clasps them together.

Emma's brows furrow like she can't understand why Regina is acting this way. "That's not why I'm here. Henry got curious as to who the sperm donor was and came to find you. I was fine with not finding you again." For some reason that feels like a knife through Regina's chest and she can't breathe. But she recovers quickly, snapping out a retort to redirect her pain.

"Then you are free to leave town."

Emma is exasperated now with Regina's behavior. "Why are you being like this? Henry found you and I thought you'd be more excited to met him now that it's all happened. He seems to like you, and it wouldn't hurt to get to know him better."

"Yes," Regina says dryly and sharply. "Get to know him better so he can leave me too."

Hurt flashes across Emma's face as Regina gets up, tugging on her coat. She tosses a few bills hastily onto the table top to pay for Emma's coffee and the kid's meal.

"Regina-" Emma finally finds her words but Regina's already gone, out into the cool October air. Emma twists and looks at her crossing the street without a look back.

"Uff," Ruby comes over, having seen the exchange and knowing exactly the past between them. "You should tell her. Everything."

"The reason I left was to spare her. I wasn't ever supposed to see her again," Emma sighs heavily as she looks into the coffee cup. Henry's still busy doodling the kids menu that Ruby gave him to keep him occupied so Emma and Regina could talk.

"Yes, but it's been _years_ now. Her mother lives in California and has no more control over her. At least, I assume this. So you can go and tell her."

Emma twists up her lips. "Maybe Regina's right. It's been too little too late. And the kid and I don't belong here. I have to go back to my job, he has to go back to school."

"You could board as long as you'd like. For free, of course," Ruby offers.

Emma shakes her head. "No...I think I should go. I know Henry will be heartbroken when he can't get to know her better. He's heard all the great stories about the time we spent together and now..." Emma can't finish, shaking her head.

"Emma..." Ruby sighs sadly but she won't push her friend. She's just glad she's back and she's okay. "Just promise to keep in touch this time, will you?"

"I will."


	13. Chapter 13

** Chapter Thirteen: Ever Have**

Emma didn't expect Henry to run away. Normally, he was very mature for his age. Her little old man she used to call him with love and he wouldn't repute it. He was proud of his stamp collection, and his old coin collection, and he read books that would even make her adult mind ache. But this was just irrefutable proof he was Regina's son. If the brown hair and the brown eyes weren't proof enough, it was his behavior. Even if Regina hadn't raised him, even if she hadn't been given a chance to, Henry had something of her in him, which meant Regina's strict personality wasn't just something of her mother's creation, but of Regina's own nature. Henry did enjoy some things a child his age should. Like eating sugary cereal, and watching cartoons and playing with toy cars when the mood struck. But he was organized, and meticulous, something Emma didn't have and couldn't teach him.

He liked getting things done, and he was serious for his age. Also a lot smarter than a ten year old had a right to be. Which was why, she regretted telling him anything about who his birth parent was.

"Ma, tell me about dad," Henry asked when she was tucking him into bed in his flannel pjs that normally middle aged men wore. But he had chosen it himself, along with the boringly gray bed sheets. At least he had posters up of Iron man on his walls.

And Emma, who normally remained tight lipped on the mention of Regina other than sharing how much she had loved her with Henry, found herself caving in. Maybe it was the five drinks she'd had, the exhaustion of working a dangerous bounty hunting job, or the fact it was Henry's birthday in two days and Regina should be here to see her son grow up. And maybe, if things had been different, she could have. She could have been here for everyone of Henry's birthdays.

But, things had gotten in the way and that wasn't an option.

Figuring her son was almost ten and could handle this, she began to speak, eyes distant and out the window, watching the dark streets. "Henry...sometimes it happens that a child has parents who are both mommies, or both daddies. That was the case for me. Your daddy is actually a woman. A woman named Regina. She and I knew each other in school. We were both very young and very in love."

If Henry was shocked by this, he didn't show the signs of it. He only listened more intently.

"Then what happened? If she loved you so much, why did she leave you?"

Emma swallowed thickly. "She didn't leave me, I left her. I know she looked for me, for a long time. As did my friends. But I couldn't stay at the school anymore. I was in danger and because I was going to have you, I couldn't stay there or else you might be put in danger. I left her so I could have you, Henry. And I am so very happy to have you." She leaned in and kissed him on the forehead.

"But would you also be happy to have her?" he poised and she sighed.

There was a part of her that would never truly ever get over Regina. Was it because they had left things so uncertainly and the ghosts of Emma's past decisions haunted her until she amended them? Or because Regina had been her mate?

She knew Alphas and Omegas had the ability to become mates, which meant they were destined for each other. Had that been the case for them? If so it would explain never being able to fully let go.

Emma answered Henry softly, "I wouldn't mind having her here. But, I've lived for so long without her, that I don't know if it even really matters." She kissed him on the forehead once more and then bid him a good night.

Emma should have known telling him anything was a bad idea. Over the course of the week, he weaseled out a couple more clues about Regina, and then, two days after his birthday, he ran away, leaving only a note for her not to worry, that he would be back soon. By the time Emma had woken up to see this note, it was five pm. She had slept in from a brutal night out hunting down some guy for arson and hadn't seen it until now. She has no idea how long he could be gone or where he's gone and her heart pounds in her chest.

She immediately calls the cops, putting out a search for her son. And then, she tugs on her coat and runs out. She looks up and down the neighborhood, figuring he can't have gone far. But she checks all his usual haunts- the play castle in the park, the library, the milkshake shop on the corner and the river bank where he likes to skip stones and contemplate life- but he's not there. She's beside her mind with panic. She rushes back into her house, trying to calm down. She slams down a shot of vodka to help with her nerves and tries to think rationally. The same way she would with hunting down a perp.

She goes to Henry's room, rifles through it. She notices his dufflebag is gone and so are some of his clothes. This strikes fear into her heart. Where the hell is he going that he needs a bag?

Sudden realization strikes her. Henry's gone to find Regina.

Why?

Emma curses and kicks the wall in anger, hurting her toe. She barely feels the pain, so upset at Henry she is. She should have never told him anything. Where did he even get the idea of racing off to find Regina? Was it because Emma looked sad? Was it because he wanted to met the woman himself?

Emma grit her teeth in worry. He must have taken money with him. He was too smart not to. Had he been planning this all in secret? How did she not notice? She cursed herself for being too tired to be on his back, but he did normally keep to himself and do the things he had so there was no reason to always be on top of his affairs.

She went to her wallet and found a couple of twenties missing. He hadn't taken her credit card which meant she couldn't track him through that. But, just to be on the safe side-

Before she can log into her account, her phone rings. It's an unknown number but it could lead to Henry. She picks up. "Hello?"

"Hi, ma, it's me, Henry."

Emma sags against the wall, breathing in relief. She hadn't known just how much she needed to hear his voice. He takes her lull in silence and continues talking. "I found her. I found mom. Come find us at this address." He rattles it off excitedly, like this is some grand adventure, and Emma closes her eyes, memorizes it. When she opens them, the relief in her veins has turned to anger.

"Henry, how could you do this? Do you know how dangerous-"

"I know Ma," he cuts off, solemn. "Regina already yelled at me for it too." In a lower and much more delighted tone of voice, he adds, "she's already acting like my mom."

Emma exhales, figuring she will save the lecture for later. "Stay there, Henry, and call me if anything. I'll be by as soon as I can." She clicks the phone off and then googles up the address.

It's in Storybrooke of all places and Emma's heart twists as she looks at the address. The place holds so many memories for her. Good and bad. She swallows thickly and decides it doesn't matter what was in her past. She needs to get her son back, because she doubts Regina will bring him back for her.

Regina...she thinks, longing running through her. A longing she had tried to bury deep where the sun could not mind it. Emma can't help but wonder, how is Regina. Where does she work? Is she happy? Did she grow taller? Did she have a family? And most of all, is her mother still there?

Emma's shoulders tense as she gets into the car, turning it out of the drive. The night is dark but it will only get darker until she gets to Regina's house. The whole ride over she can't help but think of what's going to happen. Of the thousand's of scenario's running through her head nothing can actually prepare her for the moment she does meet Regina.

Emma pulls her Bug up to a mansion. Emma snorts. Naturally, Regina lives in a mansion. This means Regina has money. What job did she choose? And how was college? Emma had never gone. Never actually had the chance to. It was just another one of the ways she let Regina down.

Her hands are clammy as she gets out, going to the door. Her chest is tight and her stomach clenches. What can she even say? What if Regina doesn't recognize her? It has been ten years, after all. Steeling her nerves, she rings the doorbell.

There's the sound of footsteps. She doesn't know whose and she tenses all the same. The door is flung open. Her eyes land on Henry first. Her boy, safe. But he doesn't run into her arms. He jerks his hand back and indicates to the woman trailing behind him.

"Ma, I found her. I found her!" he exclaims loudly. He joins her now, hanging onto her as she feels the world drop out from underneath her.

It's Regina. And she looks better than ever before. Her hair is still in that trademark bob. And she's wearing formal clothing. A shirt open three buttons low and black pressed slacks. She looks amazing and Emma's mouth goes dry. She doesn't know what to say. Shock is similarly written on Regina's face, the two of them just staring across the void of ten years. Emma wants to reach out to her, wants to cry. She wants so much and yet-

"Next time keep a closer eye on your kid. He might not be so lucky to come across someone charitable."

Regina's words cut right into Emma's heart, leaving her breathless.

"I-" Emma sputters, aghast at Regina's tone.

"Good night," Regina says coldly and slams the door shut.

* * *

It's too late to drive back home. And Emma's not in the mood for it. Her mind is a mess, her heart hurts and she just needs a nice bottle to soothe the hurt. Or maybe some sleep. Yes, she thinks, she'll sleep for a whole week just so she doesn't have to deal with this.

Henry sits pensive in the back seat. It seems the reunion didn't go at all as planned. Emma knows she should scold him for running away but she's not in the mood now. They pull up to Granny's diner. Emma knows she runs the motel close by. Emma hasn't been here in a long time and the diner has not changed one bit. When she steps in, the door bell jingles over head. The smell of fries and grease soaks the air. And a familiar figure is standing behind the counter.

It's Ruby. She's grown into a pretty omega. She's tall, and she wears her hair loose and curled, lips painted red. She makes the diner outfit look good. She's counting up some change as Emma strides up to her. She'd been hoping to avoid confronting another ghost of the past but she can't seem to avoid them anymore.

"Hey," she says, sheepish, Henry by her side.

Ruby looks up, pops her gum lazily, and then her eyes jerk wide awake.

Ruby looked like she was seeing a ghost because in a way she was.

She nearly chokes on her gum. "Emma Swan," she breathes out. "You're alive."

Emma gives a sheepish grin, tucks her hands into her back pockets as she rocks on her heels. She hopes this reunion goes a lot better.

"The one and only."

When no one says anything, Henry pipes up and stretches out his hand. "Hi, I'm Henry. I'm her son."

Ruby shakes his hand before sending a cutting glare through Emma. "You have so much to fucking explain."

Emma places hands over her kid's ears. "Language. He's still young."

And Ruby laughs.

* * *

It's three in the morning by the time Emma finishes telling Ruby everything over a bottle of tequila.

"Fuck, that's all so fucked up," Ruby grunts, shaking her head. The diner is closed by now and both of them should be in bed, but the recounting of the past keeps them awake. Henry's asleep in the room upstairs that Ruby gave them.

"I know," Emma sighs. "But I was young, and I didn't know any better. Couldn't even do anything."

"You should tell Regina."

Emma shakes her head no. "What does it matter. It's too late. She hates me."

"You hurt her badly when you left like that. She spent so much time looking for you. We both did."

"I didn't want to be found," Emma stresses, feeling guilty for hurting them both like that. It had eaten her up at moments, knowing she'd hurt them. Sometimes it was easier to pretend they didn't care for her. Because then she could sleep at night. "I didn't want the two of you to get in trouble."

"I still can't believe this happened to you. You were a good one, Swan. You could have been a soccer star. You and Regina could have been happy and married by now."

Emma shook her head. "It's no good dwelling on the past."

"Does Regina even know she has a kid?"

"Well, she didn't know until today. Henry found her."

Ruby sucks in a breath. "Shit, and how did that go?"

Emma swirls the remains of her drink. She can't taste it anymore, eyes heavy with drink. "Not well," she admits at last.

Ruby sucks on her teeth, leans back into the booth. "You want her to be involved in the kids life?"

"I was fine with her not knowing. But Henry wants to get to know her better. And if he wants that then I'll try to do my best to reconcile them."

"I can't imagine raising a kid by myself, all alone too."

"I wasn't alone-"

Ruby puts up a hand. "I know. But, without her, without your mate."

Emma swallows down a lump in her throat at this. "Do you really think she's my mate?"

"Emma, it sounds to me like you still care for her. And I definitely know she cares for you, even if she's going to act like she doesn't. Even if the two of you can't get back together, you should at least try to talk about whatever happened between the two of you and make sure you're on amicable terms. It's the least you can do. And her mother's not here," Ruby tacks on at the end. "So the batty bitch won't get in the way."

Emma relaxes at the information of that. She despised Regina's mother. She didn't think it was possible to hate a person this much, but she does. And probably forever will.

"Enough talk about me," Emma deflects. "What's up with you?"

Ruby shrugs, chugs down the rest of her drink. "Not much. I graduated school. Went to a community college just an hour outside of Storybrooke. Finished school, and then took over the diner from Granny because she wasn't doing so well."

"Is she okay?"

Ruby nods her head. "She's fine. Still chugging along. But she's not as spry as she used to be. Sometimes she comes in and still helps me out."

"Did you dream of running this diner?" Emma asks.

Ruby shrugs. "Not entirely. I wanted to be an actress, you know."

"I know," Emma sighs sadly, "Seems for none of us did our dreams work out."

"I'll drink to that," Ruby says, refilling their shot glasses.

* * *

The next day, as Emma's having lunch with Henry, who should drop by but Regina. She looks stunning, as always. But the conversation is unpleasant. Too much hurt lies between them and Emma doesn't know what to do. She's never been in a position like this before. She used to be good with emotions. Used to be open and happy. And then she'd lost everything, forced to be on the run. She'd bottled her feelings up so that she could forget about the love she'd left behind. Forget about the people who had cared for her. She tried to shield her emotions and she knows Regina is doing the same. But she doesn't blame the brunette. She doesn't at all.

Emma is the party in the wrong here and she needs to make amends, but how even can she? Will Regina even accept them?

The conversation is brisk and then over before Emma even knows it, Regina leaving in a cloud of perfume. Emma can't help but inhale it. It smells of lost memories, of moments they should have shared. Not for once does she wish things had been different. Then maybe Emma's life would have been better.

Henry notices Emma's dejected state and slides into the booth where Regina had sat before. He's got a cup of hot cocoa that Ruby has given him graciously. He's grown found of them quickly, much like Emma had when she was younger. But he'll have to grow out of the taste soon, because she wants to leave this place. She can't be this close to Regina because her past guilt's her. And, maybe she needs some time before amends can be made.

Emma knows she's being a coward, but hadn't she been one ever since she ran from all her problems all those years ago? Perhaps she's never stopped being one, only tricked herself into thinking she was brave with her dangerous job.

"I wanted to make you happy, Ma. You said you ran away because you were in danger, but the danger has to have gone away. So I figured I could bring Regina back to you and we could be a happy family," Henry said, looking down at the table.

"Henry," Emma sighs heavily. For all of Henry's maturity, he is still naively hopeful. "It's been years. A lot of things have changed between us. Things won't just go back to normal."

"Then we should make them go back to normal."

Emma shakes her head no. "Kid, she probably doesn't like me because I broke her heart by leaving-"

"Then fix it by staying," he interjects, brown eyes wide on her. "I want to get to know her. If she's my other mom, then surely she has to care about getting to know me too."

Emma thins her lips, not having the heart to tell him, that that's not always the case. Sometimes parents don't want their kids. Just like her parents didn't want her. Henry had been close to being given up for adoption too, but Emma had decided even though she was young that she would keep him, because she didn't want him to grow up unloved, and in a foster home.

"Let's go explore the town, kiddo," she ruffles his hair and they leave the diner for one more look of Emma's old home before they head back.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen: What We**

After that unpleasant conversation with Emma, Regina went back to work. But she was agitated and jittery and she only did her work with half a mind. Maybe it had been a bad idea to go see her, but she just had to. She wanted answers. Answers as to why Emma left her but none had been forthcoming and maybe it was better this way, never knowing why.

When work finishes this day, she rushes back home, needing some way to work out the turmoil of feelings inside her. It's why she falls into Kathryn's arms. Good, reliable Kathryn who loves her and never would leave her.

Regina wants to forget about Emma. About what they used to have. She has Kat now. A future with her and not a checkered past with Emma. So she kisses Kat hard, harder than usual as soon as she walks in through the door.

She wants to forget with Kathryn.

"What has gotten into you?" Kathryn says, breathless.

Regina doesn't answer, only kisses Kathryn hard once more and leads the way upstairs to their shared bedroom. Clothes are quickly discarded and they find themselves on the bed, movements frenzied.

As she's deep inside Kathryn, she thinks of the fact on how she has a child with Emma. For some reason, it makes what they had feel more real. More real than her relationship with Kathryn even though they've been married for six years. So, the only possible way to remedy this that Regina can think of, is to allow Kathryn to finally have their child.

"I think it's time," she says between nips of the skin on Kathryn's neck. "I think we should have our own family."

Kathryn groans at hearing this, her nails dig deeper onto Regina's shoulders. "Yes," she hisses, as Regina's pace increases. "Yes!" her cry of ecstasy echoes through the air.

* * *

"They left," Ruby tells Regina when the mayor walks into the diner the next morning, looking and feeling refreshed, more than she ever has for a long time.

Regina arches a brow at Ruby's comment and her acidic tone of voice. "I assume you're telling me that Miss Swan and Henry have left. This is not why I am here." Regina is both relieved and devastated by this news. She only lets herself focus on the first emotion. Because it's the only thing she should be feeling about Emma's departure. What she and her had is over. It's best not to dwell on the past no matter how it tears at her still to this day if she ever lets herself think on it.

Ruby scoffs. The lie is terrible and transparent. "Then why are you here?"

"I decided I wanted to try something different in my morning routine. Many things are changing for me in my life and so I'm going to switch things up. I'm going to be a mother."

_The heartless bitch!_ Ruby grinds her teeth together. "You're already a mother!" Ruby nearly snarls. Good thing the diner is half empty at this early hour or else there would be people eavesdropping on the conversation. Storybrooke doesn't tend to wake up this early. "You have a son, with Emma!"

Regina is methodical as she says this, as if she's been rehearsing this for hours. "I could have had a son with Emma. If she hadn't run away. But as it is, I barely know him-"

"That doesn't matter," Ruby cut in. "Emma told me the truth of what happened to her, and you have no right to be angry at her for it, because if you really get down to it, it's your fault this happened. So, you should be the one to fix it. I'm not saying you should forgive Emma for what she did, but that you shouldn't hate her for it either, because like I said, if she hadn't dated you this never would have happened." Ruby's breathing hard. Regina's brows furrow and guilt comes crashing down onto her.

"She ran away because she was pregnant?" But why? Was Emma afraid of Regina finding out? Of Cora finding out? They could have done something. Regina wouldn't have hated Emma for it. They could have worked it out.

"No. Well, that was part of it," Ruby shakes her head. "Just...go talk to her. She'll tell you the truth. It's not my job to do so. And, for the record, you should reach out to Henry. He's still your kid and he did nothing wrong by being born into this world. He adores you, even if he doesn't know you, and you should at least reach out to him. Otherwise, you're no better than your mother."

That, hits something deep inside Regina. She shakes with anger. "You have no idea what my mother is like," she growls, leaning across the counter, nostrils flaring. Ruby gulps, steps back, wonders if she crossed a line. "Don't you ever dare compare her to me," Regina finishes in a low timber and then leaves, heels stabbing into the floor.

* * *

But, Ruby's words do stick in Regina's mind. Because she makes the effort of reaching out and calling Emma once she finds her number after an all too easy search.

"Is this Emma?" Regina asks and winces because of course it is.

A short pause, before an answer. "Yes. This is."

"This is Regina calling. I wanted to...I want to talk to you about setting something up with Henry."

A long pause, static. "What do you mean?" Emma exhales.

"I was thinking we could work out something like joint custody. I could see him on the weekends maybe. Get to know him better. I...I owe him this in the least for your mistake of keeping him from me. He deserves to know that if I had a son I would have loved him and done my best to take care of him." _Even if I wasn't ready_, Regina vowed to herself. Because she won't ever raise her child like her mother raised her. She would raise her child with love and compassion, and not fear.

And besides, this will be good practice in time when she and Kat have their first child.

"I'm sure Henry would love that." Emma voice sags with something. Is it relief? Joy?

"Good. I'll send you my personal number so we can discuss the details of this." And then Regina hangs up, feeling a weight she didn't know she was carrying, lift off her shoulders.

* * *

Over the next two weeks, Regina and Emma coordinate a schedule for Henry. Their conversations are brief and whenever Emma tries to talk about something else, sneak that into the phone calls, Regina cuts it off by either hanging up, or going back to their topic of Henry. She can tell with the hiss of air from between Emma's teeth that she is irritated by this but she goes along.

Their conversations lead to the stipulation that Henry will be over in Storybrooke on the weekends. Regina will have him all day on Saturday and Sunday but that she must make sure he does his homework. Regina scoffs when she hears this. "Of course I would insist on him doing his homework. His education is paramount to me."

"Good," Emma says. "And he doesn't have any dietary restrictions so you can feed him whatever."

"Kathryn's more of the cook than me." This is the first time Regina's ever mentioned Kat in front of Emma, but she slides it in, sort of as a barrier to them, to prevent Emma from thinking she can get close to Regina.

"Kat?" Emma questions, clearly puzzled by this.

"She went to school with us. She was in my friend group. She was my best friend in fact. Didn't you see her when you came by my house?"

A long pause as Regina lets Emma dredge up old memories. "No, I didn't really notice her." Her voice seems stilted, as if she no longer wants to be talking.

"Yes, well," Regina clears her throat. "She's my wife now."

Silence, on the other end. No one says anything for a long time. Regina doesn't know what reaction she's hoping to get from Emma. Perhaps just any reaction would be well.

"Um, that's nice. Congrats," Emma says hastily before adding on, "I should go." She hangs up and Regina looks at the phone as the dial tone blares.

* * *

It's October by the time that Regina finally gets her first visit with Henry. He and Emma are standing, waiting for her by the pier, bundled up in matching plaid. It's horrendous and Regina vows to buy Henry a nice jacket.

"Mom!" Henry greets when he turns from the water where he had been watching some fishing boats (Robin's, ugh) and spots her. He rushes towards her and throws himself at her. She's not expecting the touching and it takes her a second to wrap her arms around him. Emma is slower to turn to her and she offers up a tentative smile.

"I'm so glad I can see you. What cool things are we going to do today?" he asks, pulling away from her and bouncing on the balls of his feet. She's so taken aback and flattered by his joy at seeing her that she laughs.

"You're excited," she murmurs.

He nods his head frantically as Emma fills in, "he couldn't sleep at night, talking my ear off about the things we would do on the car ride over." Emma maintains a distance from them that shouldn't bother Regina but it does. Is this because Emma knows about Kathryn?

"Oh, you're coming?" she asks, because specifically this was supposed to Regina's time alone with Henry.

Emma shakes her head, curls only partially moving under her beanie. "No, this is time for you two. I'm going to go hang with Ruby. Catch up on old news. Have fun you two, and Henry, behave." Then Emma is off, leaving Regina with Henry.

It's awkward at first, because each time Emma is around, it reopens old wounds Regina had spent good money on at the therapist to close. And she doesn't know how to act around Henry. The kid looks up to her and loves spending time with her. But as she gets to know him better, each weekend passing, things become more natural between the two of them. He's a little nerd, just like her, and she adores spending money on him, money she never had a chance to spend before. Emma doesn't interfere with them and for this Regina is grateful, the brunette only having to see her when she's picking up Henry and then dropping him back off.

Two months drift by in this mixed manner. The weekends pass too quickly and then take too long to get here. Regina enjoys spending time with Henry and mourns the loss of it before. One evening he asks her, as they dig into their sundae's, "why did you and Ma break up?"

She knows to have expected such a question from him. After all, it was valid. Surely he deserved to know. "I didn't want to break up with her. But something happened and she had to leave and she never told me anything about you or herself. I had to give up looking for her and had to move on with my own life because it's not good to dwell on painful things," she told him, knowing he was mature enough to understand this.

"Ma was scared. Scared of something. That's why she did this. But every time she would talk about you, it made her happy. She was happy with you."

"I was happy with her too. But now I have someone else that makes me happy too," Regina said, finishing up her ice cream. Henry had some chocolate on his chin and she gave him a napkin so he could wipe it off.

"Oh you mean the pretty blonde lady that cooks me good food?"

"Yes, Kathryn," she says because she knows that Henry should remember Kat's name but he never does. She wonders if this is him being passive aggressive for some reason. Perhaps he is upset that Regina has found someone else. "But I'm sure Emma must have someone like that too."

Henry shakes his head. "No, she doesn't. She used to, when I was a baby, but not anymore. Now it's just us two. Or it used to be, but now you're around to."

She gave him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She didn't know why the idea of Emma being single thrilled her and yet made her sad. "Finish up your ice cream. I want to show you something else."

* * *

Regina makes no secret of hiding her weekend plans from Kathryn. She told her about it too, because they were a couple and they needed to face things together and not apart.

"So, he_ is_ your kid," Kathryn says, eyes dark. "I never would have expected something like this from you."

"I didn't cheat on you!" Regina exclaims, throwing her hands out. "He's way older than when we even started being together."

"So then how did this happen?" the accusation is dark. Kat crosses the arms over her chest.

Regina sighs, runs a hand through her hair. "I...it was because of my rut. I had a hard time controlling myself and she didn't stop me. She let me have sex with her and something must have fallen through the cracks. I never found out she was pregnant because she just up and left." Regina doesn't want to cheapen her relationship with Emma but she also doesn't want to piss Kat of even more.

Kat thins her lips. "Why now? Why get to know him now?"

"Because I have the chance to," Regina said softly, approaching her omega. She placed her hands on Kat's stomach. "And because it'll be great practice for our kid."

Kat is slightly softened by this sentiment, given the reluctant smile crawling up her lips. "Okay, but I want to be included in this. And I only want it to be you and the kid. I don't want _her_...hanging around." Regina slightly bristles at the way Kat nearly hisses at mentioning Emma, but she let's it slide. It must be omega jealousy, nothing more.

"I wouldn't plan on excluding you," Regina admits. "And Emma doesn't come with us. It's me and Henry. I think you'll like him."

Regina had tried to introduce Henry to Kathryn, after all if he would be in Regina's house doing his work, he would see her around. Despite Kat's warm attitudes to him and cooking him food that he would like, he never entirely opened up to her with the same enthusiasm he did to Regina. Kat just shrugged it off and opted to just watch the two of them interact with each other, often stroking her belly thoughtfully.

By the time January was here, she was three months along and positively glowing. Regina was mainly happy and nervous. She still wasn't sure if she'd be a good parent, or if she was ready for it, but being with Henry gave her more confidence. Sadly, the visits had to be put on pause for that month and for February. Emma's car was a piece of garbage and couldn't make the trip up. So, Regina, on a weekend that wasn't particularly busy, got into her own car after getting the answer out of Henry on Emma's address, and heads out. She only gets lost once, and when she knocks on the door to Emma's apartment, it's like the scene from when Regina first opened up her door to see Emma. Except reversed.

Emma looks pale and shocked. She's only in a tank top and boy shorts too, and her hair is messy. Regina knows it's ten am. Surely, not too early to be here?

"Regina, hi," Emma eventually breathes out, and swallows as Regina redirects her attention from Emma's smooth thighs. "Did something happen? Why are you here?"

"I know you couldn't come up to visit me. So I took the liberties to come visit you and my son," at the mention of that, Henry's head pops up behind Emma.

"You came!" he squeals, his hair also mussy from sleep.

"Henry, you knew?" Emma turns to him, betrayed.

He offers a not at all sorry grin. "I told her the address too," before ducks back in, shivering from the cold air coming in through the open door.

"You should tell me next time!" she calls after him as he rushes to get changed.

"I can always leave-" Regina doesn't want to impose.

Emma shakes her head. "Come on in." Regina follows her in. The apartment is small and not impressive, with the curtains drawn and throwing it into an even sadder state. Empty Styrofoam coffee cups litter the table and there's newspapers and books on the floor. Emma looks embarrassed by this mess and she grabs a couple of cups to throw out.

"It's no mansion, but you can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch," Emma said when she and Regina stand awkwardly in the middle of the room in silence. Regina has no intention of staying here.

"Nonsense. I can rent out a hotel room," Regina waved it off.

"It's hard to find one on such short notice. And I don't want you paying a lot."

"I've already booked the room, Emma. I tend to do things in advance."

"Oh, right," Emma said, a bit sheepish. "Well, then feel free to take Henry around. He can give you a tour of the city while I'll be back here if you need anything."

"You're gonna love the city!" Henry said, already rushing to grab his coat. "Especially the huge library. You can get lost in it! I certainly did!"

Regina chuckles and allows his enthusiasm to leash around her and pull her out the door. She does feel a bit bad at leaving Emma behind in her tiny and dark apartment. Maybe spending time, all three of them, wouldn't be so bad. But before she can say anything, Kat's disapproving face fills her mind. No, Regina shouldn't hope for such things. She has moved on.

She _has_.

Regina lets the door close behind her, only then Emma's wistful expression blooming on her face once safe from the sight of her son and Regina.

**A/N: I know most of y'all wanna know what really happened to Emma, and we'll get there soon. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Had**

Regina gets a call at four am in the morning. Which is not unusual for her given her political career and the fires they sometimes have to stamp out at odd hours of the day. She sits up, not bothering to even read the caller ID. She answers the phone. "Hello?"

"Mom, thank goodness you picked up. I don't know what to do!" Henry's young voice is on the other end and he sounds positively distraught. Her veins turn to ice. She's moving out of her bed, going to the bathroom so she won't wake up Kat.

"Henry, tell me what's happened," she insists, wide awake.

"Ma's...something's wrong with Ma and I don't know what to do," Henry hiccuped into the phone. He sounded like he had been crying for a long time.

"Henry, I need you to calm down and go and see what is wrong with her. Can you do that? Can you go and tell me exactly what is wrong with her?" Regina asked, trying to keep her voice calm and level.

Henry sniffles, his sobs subsiding a bit. "Yes. Yes I can do that."

She waits impatiently on the line as Henry goes in. There's some shuffling noises and then he talks. "She's really hot. And she doesn't seem to know what's going on."

Regina sucks in a breath. "Call the ambulance, Henry. She sounds like she needs help."

"We don't...we can't afford one," he tells her.

Right, Regina's eyes briefly close. The wonders of the American Health care system. "Okay, wait there. Put something cold on her head and make sure her pulse is okay."

"How do I do that?"

Regina quickly explains and then tells Henry to call her if anything gets worse. Then, she hangs up and quickly gets ready. Kat doesn't wake up to Regina's frantic motions and Regina decides to leave her wife a note detailing why she left so early. Then, with only freshly brewed coffee to make her feel better, she got into her car and drove off.

Her grip was white knuckled on the steering wheel and she tried to keep to the speed limit. Henry calls twice more to ask if Regina is coming and Regina assures him that she is. He sounds a lot more calm now that he knows someone is coming to help.

When Regina gets to the apartment it is light out, the sun just rising over the horizon. Henry opens the door as Regina pulls off her gloves and coat, draping them on the couch.

"Thank you for coming," he hugs her, his eyes red. He's been crying and her heart throbs at that. She doesn't want him to worry. "You wait outside, I'll go talk to Emma on what happened. I'll stay here today and take care of her, okay?"

"Yes," Henry nods, sniffling a bit. Regina goes inside Emma's bedroom, finding it a mess. The woman herself looks a mess. Her skin has a sweaty sheen to it and some damp curls are sticking to her skin. Her breathing is labored, one leg peeking out from under the covers, one arm hanging down to the floor. Regina gently takes the wrist in between her fingers and measures the pulse. It's steady and a bit slow, but Emma is sleeping so nothing to worry about right now.

Emma mumbles something under her breath. Regina can't make it out but she leaves the room to bring Emma some cool water and fetch Tylenol from the cabinets.

"Emma, wake up," she says loudly, making Emma stir.

"Huh?" she mumbles out, barely opening her eyes.

"Emma, wake up," Regina repeats more sternly.

Emma finally opens her eyes and barely reacts at all at the unusual sight of Regina in her bedroom. "I must be hallucinating," she says, her voice a dry croak. "What are you doing here?"

"My son called me because he was worried about you. Why haven't you been taking care of yourself?"

"It's not my fault I caught a fever. Not all of us can work in fancy office, some of us have to spend long nights stalking others in the cold." Even Emma's words lacked their usual bite.

"Have you taken any medication?"

"No...I just came home and went to sleep. I'm so tired."

"Here's some water and some medicine for you to take," Regina held out the offered items.

"I'm fine, I don't need to take them," Emma refused, though it was a weak refusal.

"I will not have my son worrying about you. You've driven him to tears." Regina's voice is becoming impatient. Why won't the stubborn woman just take her medicine?

"He's our son," Emma makes the distinction that Regina is so hesitant to voice outloud. "And I didn't know," she offers more softly. "About Henry. I didn't mean to scare him."

"You could take the medicine. That might not scare him."

Emma takes a long moment to turn herself onto her back and sit up, reaching out a shaky hand. Regina deposits the pills in it and then hands her the glass. Emma swallows the medicine down. "I'm going to make you some soup to eat."

"It's fine, really-"

"It's not up for discussion," Regina cut in sternly. She leaves the room, finding Henry trying to read a book on the couch. "How is she?" he asks when Regina closes the door silently behind herself.

"Emma took the medicine. I'm going to make her some food."

"Can I help!" Henry asks. Regina contemplates telling him no, but decides, what is the harm in it? She at least gets to spend more time with her son. "Okay. We're going to make chicken soup for your mom."

"We'll probably have to buy some ingredients first. We didn't go shopping this week."

Of course they didn't. Emma didn't strike her as the reliable type of home maker. Regina snatches up her outerwear. "Grab your coat. I'll drive us to the closest store."

Henry hurries to his room.

Ten minutes later they're in a grocery store, Regina with the basket in one hand, Henry walking on her other side. This feels so much like being a family, so much like those many lost moments with Henry, that she's momentarily choked up. But Henry doesn't let her dwell on her inner emotions for too long; he's chatting her ear off about school and comic book heroes. When they get home with all the needed ingredients to make a soup, Emma is still in her room and when Henry checks in, she's asleep. Regina doesn't like to openly admit it, but she is worried about her.

She teaches Henry how to make the soup, and even lets him cut the vegetables under her supervision. He learns quickly and she is proud of her little chef. "This is going to be the best soup ever!" he cheers as they set it to boil. Regina cleans up the kitchen while Henry runs to the TV, pulling out some movies for them to watch while the soup cooks.

Regina almost forgets entirely that she was supposed to call Kathryn to check up with her. When she fetches her phone from her jacket pocket, she finds that there are several missed calls. That can't be good.

"Hello?" she answers when Kat picks up on the first ring. Which means she's super pissed.

"Why didn't you call me sooner?" Kat demands. "You just leave me a single note and expect me to be fine?"

"Kat I got caught up-"

"With Emma?"

Kat's voice has grown shriller. Why is she overreacting this way? "Why does this bother you so much?" she asks suspiciously. Kat quiets down on the other end of the line. When she speaks it's in a more relaxed tone of voice. "I was worried about you, you idiot. You're my wife. I don't see why you have to go running off to take care of Emma whom you barely know."

But Regina doesn't barely know Emma. They'd spent months together, intimately pressed against each other in many positions. She knows her well enough. "I'll be back home by the end of today. I'll call you when I'm about to get into my car."

"Regina-" Kat begins, and Regina is aware she has not answered her questions, but frankly she doesn't feel like doing so.

"Bye." And she hangs up. She puts her phone on silent mode so she won't have to be distracted by it.

"Mom, which movie? I picked the best two options," Henry asks, picking up two of them. The choice is between Iron Man and Captain America.

"You decide, I'm fine with either," Regina comments, only because she doesn't care much for superhero movies. "Let's watch both!" Henry says and pops in the Iron Man one first. She sits down on one end of the couch while he sits next to her, snuggling up to her arm. She can feel her heart swell inside. She wonders if her kid with Kat will love her like this too. If Henry can love her and he barely knows her, then surely her own kid can too? She just feels niggling fear in the back of her head that she's only good with Henry because he's older now and that she won't be as good with a newborn. Then again, that's what omegas are best at. Such distinctions sometimes have their merits and Regina is happy she'll have an omega that will know what to do with kids because she feels it won't come as naturally to her.

Henry points out his favorite scenes and he's even got some lines of dialogue memorized. Halfway through the movie, Regina turns off the soup and they pause the movie so that they set up the table. Regina goes back into Emma's room to wake her for food. She's carrying a tray with hot soup on it, a slice of bread, and a glass of orange juice which she knows will help boost Emma's system. On a napkin next to all of it is another pill.

"Emma wake up, you need to eat this," Regina wakes her none too gently and Emma stirs awake with a mumble. "I'm not hungry," she insists but Regina won't take no for an answer.

"You need to eat something. I'll leave this here and I expect you to finish this up by the time I come back to get it. You don't have to eat everything but you need to eat something. And take your medicine."

Emma groans and pulls herself upright, shoving some pillows behind her to prop her up as Regina settles the tray gently on her lap. "Okay, mom," she half jokes and Regina glares at her before leaving the room. She and Henry have dinner at the dinner table before she cleans up the dishes and they resume the movie. Regina makes sure to give Emma enough time to finish her meal. When the movie finishes, she finds Emma asleep once more, tray on the floor. Most of the soup is gone, so is the bread, the juice and the pill. Regina feels Emma's forehead for her. It's cooler now and she decides she'll give her a cold compress just in case.

She collects the dirty dishes and then gets a cool towel for Emma that she puts on her forehead. The blonde sighs in relief at the cool touch and Regina leaves the room, satisfied that she at least helped the best she could. She watches one more movie with Henry before it becomes dark outside. She needs to go home. She can't stay overnight here. Those weren't her plans.

"I put the leftover soup in the fridge. All you need to do is reheat it," Regina instructs as she speaks to Henry by the door. "Emma's fever is going down but bring her a glass of water in the morning and another pill just in case. She should feel better by then."

"Do you have to go?" Henry asked, looking utterly depressed by her having to go. She felt her chest tighten at that.

"Henry, I do."

"But we had fun today. And what if mom gets sick again and I don't know what to do?" he fretted. She knelt down to his level. Took him by the hands. They were so small but had deftly helped her in the kitchen.

"Henry, I had fun today with you too. But I can't stay here. I have to go back to my wife and take care of her. But I will call to check up tomorrow on you two."

He nodded his head, resigning himself to the fact that he would not be convincing Regina otherwise to stay. She gave him a kiss on his forehead to offset the hurt and then got up, leaving the apartment. The ride over felt long for some reason. And lonely. And when she pulled up to her house, she didn't immediately get out of her car. She was worried for the two of them, and she felt like she had let down Henry by leaving. But she had to. Her place wasn't there, with them. It was here, with Kat and their unborn child.

She turned the car off, yawning as she went up the stairs. She was tired by this whole day. Worrying over others was often draining. She also remembered she was in mid argument with Kat and that only made her even more tired. Luckily, since it was this late, Kat was already asleep. The house was dark and Regina came in quiet so as not to disturb her wife. She showered, changed her clothes and then slid into bed, curling up next to her wife.

She inhaled Kat's familiar scent, one of strawberries and ice cream and tried to ignore the scent of Emma's that filtered through her nose the entire day.

* * *

Regina gets a call at eight in the morning, just as she's up from bed and in the kitchen making an apology breakfast for Kat for when she wakes up. It must be Henry. Regina's heart leaps up her throat and she's worried. What has happened now?

"Hello, Henry is everything okay?" Regina tries to keep her voice even. To keep the fear out of it.

"This is Emma," Emma says on the other end of the line.

"Oh," Regina says, not expecting this. Awkward silence buzzes.

"Um, I just wanted to call you and thank you for what you did yesterday. It really helped me and the kid," Emma rushes before Regina can hang up on her.

"It was no problem, really," Regina says, because she doesn't want to be reminded of this. Doesn't want Emma to think she cares for her. Because they can't care about each other. Regina only cares about Kat and Henry. She had once cared about Emma but that was a long time ago and had to be left in the past.

"Well, I still appreciate it. I'm feeling better now and um, if you ever need a favor, I'm more than happy to repay you for it."

"It won't be needed Miss Swan," Regina says so as to maintain a distance between them. "Now, if you don't mind, I need to get back to my breakfast," Regina said, smelling the beginning of burning bacon.

"Ha, only you would be up this early," Emma laughs and Regina arches a brow up at that comment even if Emma can't see her. Eight am is not that early. It's actually later than she gets up because normally she's up at six but had gotten home late yesterday due to taking care of Henry and Emma.

"Good bye," Regina says instead because she is in no mood to continue this conversation. She can hear running water from upstairs. Kat has woken up. It's time to make amends.

* * *

It's been a month since Regina has last seen Emma. Winter is halfway over, and Regina missed seeing Henry's adorable face. But her work has gotten busier. So has Emma's, and the two of them make no weekend plans. Regina seems to find Kat in a better mood these days.

Regina has just stepped off the podium during work and is walking around the crowd when she spots two familiar faces. What are they doing here on a Tuesday?

"You're a mayor," Emma murmurs low, in awe, taking in the fancy suit. She must have seen Regina address the crowd. "Of course you are."

"My mom's a mayor!" Henry cheers. "Did you get to meet the president?"

Her gaze softens when it lands on him. "No, Henry. I'm only a small town mayor."

"Still, you're pretty much a hotshot. Getting to make...laws, and stuff," Emma trailed off. "Actually I'm not sure what mayors do."

"What are you two doing here?" Regina gets to the point, feeling safe behind the armor of the mayor. She clasps her hands in front so she won't fiddle with them.

"I need to tell you something important and I figured it would be better to tell you in person."

That does not sound promising. "Can it wait? I'm still at work." She hopes to delay this.

"Sure," Emma nods her head. "Dinner at Granny's?"

* * *

Emma dismisses Henry to go bother Ruby, so that she and Regina can talk without disturbances once the two of them settle into their booth.

"I'm...moving to Storybrooke," Emma says without meeting Regina's eyes, hands cupping the mug of hot cocoa in her hands.

"What?!" Regina blurts out, and it's louder than she means it to be because Ruby's head jerks up and she bites her tongue, cursing herself for being unable to control her emotions better. She notices Emma shift uncomfortably before Emma speaks again.

"I know you're probably not happy with the idea, but I think it's for the best. I'm getting a bit too old for my job and it's dangerous, not something I intended to do for a long time if I wanna be around for Henry. Not only that, but you're here, and driving back and forth on the weekends is taxing sometimes. Besides, it's not too good on Henry to keep uprooting him."

"I could drive down. I don't mind," Regina quickly cut in, to which Emma shook her head and seemed to gain some confidence in herself. She met Regina's anxious brown gaze.

"I already found an apartment up here. Had some time when you and Henry are out. And I found a job opening too." Emma for once, had everything planned out. Regina would be proud of her, if she wouldn't be so aghast at the idea.

"Where?" Regina wasn't even aware that there was a job opening in this small ass town.

"At the police station. Pushing paper work. Much safer than what I was doing before." Regina doesn't ask about Emma's previous job because if she does, she hazards a guess that she will get very pissed off at Emma for doing something so risky when she was all Henry had.

Regina sits back into her seat, feeling a bit defeated by this. Keeping Emma distant had kept her sane. But if she was this close by...? Regardless, she couldn't drive the woman out of town. Emma was an adult, and it was perfectly legal for her to move in here. And the way she had presented it, it did make sense for her to be here now that there was the matter of raising Henry.

"I'll stay out of your way if that bothers you. This town is small but we don't have to interact if it's a big issue to you," Emma supplies, taking a sip of her now cold cocoa.

"Yes, that might be for the better," she cuts to Henry who is laughing at something Ruby told him. "I don't want Henry to get the wrong idea. He seems to think he can get us to be a family." Her heart aches at this. "But he doesn't seem to understand how binding marriage is."

Emma bobs her head, going along with this, "and you're happy with Kat, anyways."

"Yes," Regina says quietly, before getting up. She drops a couple of bills on the table, paying for all their meals. Emma follows her motions with sharp green eyes. "Leaving?"

"I have work waiting for me at home. And I don't want to leave Kat by herself for too long. She's pretty late in her pregnancy and I don't want her doing any heavy work around the house."

"Before you go," Emma cuts in quickly, deciding she might as well push this topic. Regina had taken the idea of her moving her pretty decently. Emma had certainly expected more screaming and yelling and Emma getting chased out of town with a pitchfork. So, Emma felt maybe she could push a little more. "I was thinking we could go see a play this Thursday night. I can get us tickets and everything. If we're going to live in the same town together, I figured we could try to get on each other's good side and go some of the places together. Henry would like it."

Regina is shocked by the offer- Emma's shocked her twice today and she doesn't know if she likes it. "What happened to staying out of my way?" Regina let's one lip corner curl up in amusement.

Emma shifts in her seat like it's hot. "I know that. And I meant it. I really won't bother you; I've spent this long without talking to you, I think I could manage more. But, like I said, it would be for Henry. He asked me to ask you if we could at least once a week maybe have a family...something," Emma gestured vaguely.

Regina chews on the inside of her lip, eyeing the way Emma taps on the counter impatiently and nervously. "I'd have to...ask Kat about it," she settles on at last, tying the sash of her pea coat. It's getting warmer. Soon they won't need their coats.

"Do you have too? You're your own damn woman," Emma says irritably. Her brows furrow and Regina feels irked at Emma for being angry at Kat. "Kat has been nothing short of amazing, being open to the idea of my seeing Henry and as a result, interacting with you. She doesn't like what happened between us and she only tolerates Henry because he is part of me. She doesn't like you." There is no delicate way to say this. Emma doesn't look shocked. Seems she already knew.

"It's going to break Henry's heart to know this," Emma cuts in and how dare she use Henry as a bargaining chip in this.

"I said I would speak to Kat on it. And we would talk about if it's okay. Maybe not once a week, but something we can do once a month," Regina adds in more softly because she can put herself in Emma's shoes and imagine how painful it might be to tell Henry no. His face was just too adorable to say no to.

Then, Regina leaves before Emma can convince her to do anything more, because she knows her resolve will break.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen: Before**

Moving is never fun. But it was easy since Emma didn't have a lot of things. When she was a kid, bounced from one foster home to another, this had been especially true. All she had was a backpack of this and that, and the clothes on her back. When she'd run from Storybrooke, she had only taken one backpack too, and it was only now when she had Henry, that she had more items to her name. Most of them were things she bought for him and had to then pack up. The moving truck had already taken most of her stuff to the new apartment and she was only packing up the few boxes left into her Bug.

"Road trip, road trip!" Henry exclaimed, happy to be on the move. Ever since Emma had decided to move back to Storybrooke, Henry had been so happy. She was happy that he was happy, for the decision hadn't come lightly. Sure, moving there would be better for Henry's developing relations with his other mother, but Emma was nervous. The place held so many regrets for her. And Regina was there. She knew Regina truly wasn't happy about this, about having Emma closer. Too many painful memories, and Regina had made it clear she had no interest in reconciling with Emma. Which stung, but was warranted.

Emma had to have left. She couldn't even provide a note saying she was, because too many other problems would arise and the whole reason Emma had left was so that Regina could continue her future. Get the education and job she needed. Emma was no one. All she had been good for was kicking a ball around on the field and even that hadn't been good enough to get a scholarship to college. Not that she had gone to college. She didn't have much of an education. Sleeping on the streets, trying to scrounge for food, would do that to someone.

When she and Henry arrive at Storybrooke, they go straight to their apartment. It's cheaper than her Boston one, newly refurbished, and bigger too. Their boxes are already there and now it's just a matter of unpacking them. Of unpacking her new life here, where technically, her future had been ruined and rewritten.

"I call the room facing the street!" Henry hollers out, taking a box of his stuff into his room and going to claim it. Emma chuckles and shakes her head at this enthusiasm. She'll have to take the other one then. She begins the laborious process of unpacking and putting everything up. She has the kitchen, the dining room, and her bedroom all set up within two hours. Henry is busy unpacking his half of the boxes when there's a ringing on their door. Emma isn't expecting any guests and she wonders who it could be. She'd told Ruby she was moving in, but she hadn't specified which apartment.

She opens the door and finds Ruby on the other end.

"I came to celebrate you moving in," Ruby said, holding up two bottles of tequila.

"How did you find where I lived?" Emma asked, letting Ruby in.

Ruby passed by her in a cool breeze, setting the bottles down on the new coffee table. "Best friend instincts."

"Bullshit," Emma rolls her eyes, closes the door and goes to sit on the couch by Ruby who has stripped off her jacket and tossed it over the back of the couch.

"Okay, fine," Ruby admits, "I went door to door on this street, looking for you."

Emma laughs. "They must have hated you! It's only 11!"

Ruby shrugs. "Whatever. Now, are we cracking these bad boys open or what?"

"Let me get the glasses," Emma says and gets them. The two of them talk for a little bit over sips of their tequila. It's nice talking to Ruby. Despite the years missing between them, it's like nothing ever happened. Ruby has forgiven Emma easily, something that Emma wishes Regina would do.

"So...about Regina," Ruby eventually coyly segues into their conversation about real estate. "How's that front going? You live closer to her now..."

Emma shakes her head at Ruby's suggestions. "No, I'm not here for her. I don't intend to do anything with her."

"Not even be friendly with her?"

"Ruby...that is long and gone-"

"Sure," Ruby snorts. "Regina really cared for you. And you really cared for her."

"We were teens," Emma says, a touch irritably. She's in no mood to discuss her ex-lover. "We felt like it was pure love because we didn't know better."

"But it was, Emma. There's such a thing as mates. And not just in the sense of mating, but in the sense that a pair find themselves perfect for one another. And that's what you and Regina could have been. When the two of you were together it was like nothing else mattered in this world."

Emma clenches her jaw. She doesn't want to confirm Ruby's words because she doesn't want to think on how true they are. "What are you trying to do, Ruby?"

Ruby tucks her legs under her. "I'm trying to get you to see that you're mates. You need her, just as she needs you."

"She has a wife. I'm not going to ruin that for her! I'm not some homewrecker." Emma sputters, growing louder.

"I'm not telling you to do that. I'm just saying she's as unhappy as you are. I've seen her over the past ten years and I can just see it. She doesn't love Kat the way she loved you even if the two of you were young and not together for long."

Ruby's words threaten to make Emma hope. And hope is a most dangerous thing. She squashes it down. "None of this matters," she mumbles, chugging down the rest of her drink. "Nothing is the same anymore. I had my chance, and I blew it."

"It wasn't your fault," Ruby puts a hand on Emma's shoulder to comfort her.

Before Emma can comment further, the doorbell rings. She wonders who that could be now. She gets up, slightly stumbling under the weight on the drink on her mind and opens up the door.

She entirely does not expect to Regina on the other side, holding a basket in her hand.

"I thought a welcoming gift would be nice," Regina said as she and Emma stared at each other on the door step. Emma was aware of how inadequate she looked right now. Hair in a messy bun, gray sweatpants on, and a flimsy tank top. And she smelled of alcohol, her eyes a bit glassy. And Regina was here, looking like perfection. She had on a black peacoat, opened since it was a bit warmer today, revealing a blue shirt and tight black slacks underneath with kitten heels. She had on but a touch of lipstick and her hair was coiffed. She looked so good. "But I see you are busy partying." This last part was said with derision as the music from inside that Ruby had playing from her phone for this occasion, picked up.

"Uh, Ruby came to christen the new apartment," Emma fumbled. "You're free to come in."

"I hope you aren't exposing Henry to this sort of behavior?" Regina said, clearly not happy at that prospect.

"No, he's in his room, playing video games."

"He should be doing his work."

"We just moved today. He should have the day off, besides he's not officially enrolled in school until later this week."

Regina's nostrils flared. She was disappointed by this and Emma swallowed down the bitter resentment rising in her throat. Not all of them could be perfect. She had done fine handling Henry as a single mother. It hadn't been easy and she'd wanted to give up more than once, but it had happened and she'd made it. Henry was an amazing kid.

"Hey Regina, care for a drink?" Ruby asked, holding up the glass. Regina's eyes narrowed on her as she came in to set the basket down.

"No thank you, Ruby. Some of us actually have to get back to work from their lunch break." She turned to Emma to complete the interaction. "I baked some apple turnovers. I hope you and Henry can enjoy them."

"We will, thank you," Emma said, feeling awkward about this whole exchange.

"When you're done you can bring the basket back. But that is all." Regina is making it perfectly clear that she is only doing the perfunctory duty of greeting Emma to the town but after this, there should be no more exchanges between them. Emma understands it loud and clear. She nods her head, tight lipped and then Regina walks off.

"Man, you've been blessed with her baking. It's so good," Ruby says, already half of turnover in her mouth. She makes a moan of appreciation. Emma can't help but wish she was blessed with other facets of Regina- like her forgiveness. But she understands it won't be given to her easily.

Emma goes to take a turnover to Henry.

When she returns to Ruby its to chug more alcohol down so she can forget her emotions that Regina's arrival dredged up even for a little bit.

* * *

True to her word, Emma doesn't bother Regina. She doesn't greet her when they occasionally cross paths. She doesn't seek her out. Nor does she try to interest herself with her business. They only see each other where Henry is concerned. And that's fine because it's how things should be. But Emma can't help but long for Regina whenever Henry comes back with a hint of the alpha's scent on him from their long day out. It's eating her up inside. But she can't do anything about it, because Regina is married. And Kat is expecting. Still, that feeling inside chews her up, and she thinks, maybe if they could just be on good terms with each other, things wouldn't be so difficult anymore.

Surely Regina can't hold a grudge over silly things they did as kids. They didn't know better back then. Emma tries to tune into the conversation she is having with Regina.

"I talked to Kat, about our arrangement. With some...debate, we managed to come to an agreement. She said it was fine if I did that, every other week, because she understands a boy needs two parents. But she gave us a list of things we cannot do together," Regina took the list out. It was on colorful stationary. "We have to abide by this. Also, we cannot be out for more than three hours."

Emma took the list, not even looking at it yet. "She's got you whipped." Emma makes a whipping noise. Regina scowls. "She does not. I love her, so I am willing to respect her wishes and keep her informed on what is going on."

This is a dig at Emma who sighs, tired of this sourness between them. "I know you're upset at me. But if you keep making snide comments at every chance you get, it's really not going to help either of us heal from the past."

Regina looks very much like she wants to argue but refrains from doing so. "I could try. But no promises."

"Good," Emma jerks her head. Tucks the paper into her pocket. "So, you still up for seeing the play with the kid on Thursday? Offer still stands."

"You didn't even read to see if it's on the list of acceptable-"

"It's a fucking play, Regina. We'll sit in separate rows if it bothers Kat so much."

Regina sucks in some air, taps her toes against the floor. Refraining from saying something, once more. "I can't go," Regina shakes her head. "Kat's got a meeting at the doctor's to check the baby and I'm going with her."

The lump in Emma's throat tightens. "Right. Never mind then, next time," she offers up a small smile. Everyone's moved on but her. Why can't she? Regina's having her own family, Ruby is running the diner until she gets enough money to leave, and what of Emma? Still alone, unable to be loved. Having thrown away her future as a soccer star all because of one mistake. A mistake not even she was responsible for.

"Emma..." Regina calls out when she sees the dejection Emma is trying to hide and failing to do so. It looks like Regina is making effort now. Trying, which is all Emma really wants. "I would love to hang out with you, as a...as a...a friend. We're both Henry's moms and," she pauses here, takes in a steadying breath, "and we might as well get along. I don't know what happened between us all those years ago, and I won't ask. I respect your right to privacy even if sometimes wondering about the past keeps me up at night. But, let's keep what happened in the past, and move on and try to be...nice to each other. For Henry's sake."

"For Henry's sake," Emma murmurs in an echo. Like a pledge they are making.

"So, I'll take you up on the offer of going to see that play. It is indeed something I'd like to watch. If you don't mind, I'd like to bring Kathryn along too."

Emma's rising hope plummets down. Of course, she shouldn't have expected it just to be the two of them alone. What had Emma even expected? That she and Regina would just be buddy buddy quickly? No, there was a decade of hurt between them, and Emma's traitorous heart needed to stop expecting anything more from Regina, even if she sometimes saw the way Regina looked at Emma, when she didn't think Emma noticed, like the world stopped and ended with her.

Emma had seen that look before, when they'd been together, so she knew unmistakably what it was. And it had always made her so warm all over, just as it had now whenever she saw it. But now...things were different. And she had to respect that. At least Regina agreed to sort of try and be friends with Emma whenever they did see each other.

* * *

Emma's fitting in well at the job at the sheriff's station. The work isn't nearly anywhere as dangerous as the one she used to have. It's mainly desk work, boring menial desk work, with the occasional call to break up a drunk fight at the local bar. Emma's worried she'll lose her figure from sitting behind the desk all the time. Which is why she spends so much time at the gym whenever she can. The gym isn't state of the art but it'll do. She can be alone with her thoughts here, plugging in an Ipod and just listening to rock music to pump her up. Things are just simpler, more peaceful, when it's her and the music and the burn in her muscles.

When she finishes up, she showers and then dresses, making it upstairs before her lunch break. Graham's at his desk. He notices her come in- she's the only person who has the past week. They haven't had anything to do but talk to each other and see who can fly paper airplanes the farthest. She enjoys spending time with him. He's handsome, and reliable. And kind.

"Give the bench press hell?" he asks her, because they've worked out together before and he's impressed with how much Emma can do. But she didn't run down criminals successfully for years without having kept a fit form.

He knits his arms behind his head as he watches her flex in the shirt she's wearing. Her biceps aren't that visible but they still strain against the fabric. "Bet I can beat you."

"I won't wager against you, Swan," he says affectionately. "I've seen how much you lift."

She sticks out her lower lip in a pout. "Ah, you're no fun."

"I can bet that I have bigger biceps," he said in an offer of appeasement and got up, flexing his arms. Emma rolled her eyes. They were bigger than hers, only because he was taller than her.

"I see the two of you are putting tax payer dollars to good use," came the sardonic voice accompanied by the click clack of heels on the floor.

Emma jerked around to see that Regina had arrived and she looked pissed. Pissed but hiding it. Failing to kind of do so.

"Uh madame mayor, sorry-" Graham stuttered. She waved her hand dismissively. "Save it," she said, voice cold. "Emma I need to speak with you."

"Right," Emma said and followed Regina over to the outside of the sheriff's office. She wondered what this could be about. Probably nothing good.

Regina surprised her when she pulled out two tickets from her suit jacket pocket. "Tickets, for the play this Thursday."

Emma stared at them dumbly before she took them, a bit taken aback by this. "You got us-"

"It seemed only fair to do that. You moved in not long ago, surely you might be short on funds, and theater tickets aren't cheap even if it's no Broadway. Kathryn and I will also have dinner before hand at the La Croix restaurant. We expect to see you both there, dressed nicely, and on time," Regina said crisply, before she straightened out her suit lapels with a concise tug and walked off.

"Um, thank you!" Emma remembered herself and called after Regina but the mayor was long gone.

* * *

It wasn't a date, but it almost felt like one, if that made sense. Anyway, Emma was nervous enough like she would be on a date, so maybe that's why it felt this way. She had dressed up in the red dress she loved so much because it made her standout. She curled her hair too, did her make up, and fretted that this would be too much. She'd even given Henry a little tux they'd rented out for this occasion.

"Ma, it's just dinner, relax," Henry said, which was easy for him to say, he didn't feel awkward towards Kat or Regina. But seeing him so calm did help her a bit. She took enough cash to pay for the expensive meals and then they were off. Regina and Kat were already seated so Emma and Henry joined them.

Kat was wearing a green dress that was off the shoulder. Regina next to her was wearing a black Maxi dress with golden touches to her makeup. She looked amazing and Emma's stomach twisted. She was filled with the urge to run her hands through Regina's hair, to taste her lips once more, and just-

She sat down and immediately began gulping down the water. Kat raised a brow at this. "Thirsty?" she asked.

"Mhm," Emma agreed, swallowing down the water. She had to keep herself cool and collected. Regina was sat in front of her, and she too seemed to take in Emma's outfit with too much care. Emma didn't miss the way Regina's eyes swept over her before flicking to the side shamefully. Oh this was going to be an awkward evening. She just hoped she and Regina could keep it together long enough that no one would suspect.

Luckily, Henry says the day. He jumps in, blabbing about this and about that. All their attention goes to him, which helps Emma from gawking at Regina more than she should. She does sneak glances in here and there and she notices that Regina's eyes flick away from her, as if looking at her too.

The only thing that bothers Emma more is looking at Kat. Because Kat is pregnant and she has the support and love of her mate to get her through this. Emma had no one. She wondered, would Regina had treated her this well too? She can think of thousands of sceanarios about this.

The meal is delicious or so Emma assumes. She is too nervous to really taste it, and too distracted to even notice she's eaten it until it's all gone. Regina pays for the meal, because of course she has to flex on them.

Alpha's, Emma thinks but secretly doesn't mind. It reminds her of the times Regina would always pay for any food or sweets Emma wanted when they used to date, because Regina had money to burn and was conscious of the fact Emma didn't have a hefty allowance.

They make their way to the theater and it turns out that they're sitting in the same row. Regina presumably next to Kat, with Henry as a buffer between Emma and Kat. But Henry surprises Emma when he pipes up. "I wanna sit next to Kat."

This catches everyone off guard, no one sure how to react for a good while. "Henry, are you sure?" Regina questions, coming out of the stupor first.

Emma pieces together his plan, and instantly is mortified. Why is he trying to do this? Doesn't he know they can never be what they once were? It's cute Henry wants Regina and Emma together, but it simply won't happen. It can't happen. Emma has to remind this several times to herself. Because lately she's gotten too hopeful. "Henry," she hisses under her breath and he shoots her an innocent look like he doesn't know what he's doing.

Kat, looks delighted. She clasps her hands over her belly, smiling. All she's ever wanted is for him to like her and she is happy he's making an effort. "I wanna know more about my baby sister. I'm going to be a big brother to her. Or a big brother to my baby brother," he says and how can they say no to that? They can't.

And in this sneaky manner, Henry ends up sitting in between Kat and Regina, leaving Regina and Emma together. Emma feels wired. On edge. It's a strange feeling, one she hasn't felt in a long time. It makes the pit of her stomach electric and she tries to force the emotion away but she can't.

Regina for her part, looks cool, as if this doesn't inconvenience her. They sit down, Henry blabbing Kat's ear off about questions on the baby, and the lights go dark as the play is about to begin.

Emma tries to focus on it, she really does, but she can't but help be drawn to Regina. To look at her every reaction to the play. The way her lips quirk up in humor, the way she shakes her head softly when she disagrees on an action a character takes. And her scent. It comes in strong. Strong and heady and invading Emma's atoms with a fierce grip.

Emma clears her throat and tries to lean back into her seat. Tries to stop looking at Regina. She hopes the woman hasn't noticed her staring. She puts her hands on the armrest, accidentally bumping into Regina's arm that is also sharing it. The alpha looks down, frowns slightly and moves her arm, but not off. This close, their bare arms seem to skim with electricity, vibrating between the naked flesh.

Emma closes her eyes, tries to center herself. What is wrong with her? Why does this feel like so much? It's like everything is longing for Regina. It's something she hasn't felt in years, not since she was a teen and couldn't resists touching Regina, letting them claim each other in the most intimate of manners.

"Are you okay?" Regina's voice breaks Emma out of her inner thoughts. She's looking at her, gaze intense and Emma twists at the thought of just leaning over and kissing her. It would be so easy. But it would ruin everything.

"I'm...I'm fine. I'm going to go to the bathroom," she croaks out and leaves, to splash some water on her face. She lets the faucet run and stares into her reflection in the sink. What is she doing? She should be running from Regina. Shouldn't be pretending to be friends with her.

Not when her insides were screaming for her mate.

Mate. She thinks bitterly. Years ago she would have been delighted by this concept. She had always wanted a place, a home to belong to. And belonging to someone, well, that felt like being home, didn't it?

But now, know she wasn't delighted with having a mate, because all it did was hurt her.

* * *

Emma doesn't go back until the play is thirty minutes from being over. Regina looks at her questionably but doesn't ask, turning back to the play. When it's over, and Emma is blinking in the lights of the show, she swears Regina's scent has only gotten stronger around her, and she can feel her nerves coming alive to it, dancing under her skin.

"That play was awesome, wasn't it Ma!" Henry looks at her, smiling innocently up and she has to tell him what he did was wrong. And that he couldn't do it again. But that will be for later.

"Yes, it was...good," Regina murmurs, looking distracted by her own thoughts. Kat loops an arm through hers, smiling contently. Emma's hackles bristle at the casual touch. She tries to calm her jealousy down but finds it's not easy to swallow down.

"Thank you, for the tickets," Emma adds on and Kat looks at Regina sharply. Oh, what was the meaning of that?

"You bought their tickets?" Kat says and it sounds like a hurt accusation.

Regina barely registers this question. "Hm, I did. Thought it would be a nice welcome to this town."

"Well, good night. We'll be heading out. Henry, say good bye," Emma instructs, before she can witness the fight she senses is brewing in the air. Henry says goodbye and they leave Kat and Regina behind.

Emma is exhausted and she gratefully sinks into bed when she gets home, barely bothering to undress or take her make up off. Her dreams are fitful and she can smell Regina's scent in them, calling to her, making her whimper when she can't seem to find where it's coming from.

The excitement from last night catches up to Emma, proving to be too much. Because the next morning she wakes up hot, aching, and needing a certain alpha by her side. With a mute look of horror she sits up from bed, brushing back her strands of hair and breathing rapidly. She can smell it on her. Smell her pheromones in the air.

She's in heat.

**A/N: Haven't mentioned ruts or heats in a hot minute. So, here we go.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen: We Lost**

**A/N: There was some divide between if Emma should be with Regina or Graham during her heat. Some of ya are about to be right.**

_This isn't good_, is Emma's first thought, because she won't be able to take care of Henry like this.

Normally one could take heat pills to dampen the effects of it, but this had caught Emma completely off guard because _it wasn't supposed to happen now_. She hadn't even made her typical arrangements to have a friend look after Henry. She took out her phone, wiping a bead of sweat that ran down her forehead. Fuck, she was hot.

Her clothing was uncomfortable on her, and she rubbed her thighs together. She needed relief, bad. Could she ask Graham? But he was at work today and there was no way she would have Henry stay at the police station for the day.

Ruby?

But no, Ruby was busy running a diner. It would inconvenience her to have Henry there for the full day or two.

The only option left was Regina. Because even though she was at work, Kat was at home and could potentially take care of Henry for her.

But Emma was wary about going to Regina for help. What if Emma's heat affected Regina? Or the sight of Regina on Emma's heat affected Emma? They would be put into another terrible situation. And it wasn't unlikely that it wouldn't happen. After all, Emma knew how badly her heats had affected Regina when they were but teens.

Emma grumbles and runs a hand through her hair. But she doesn't have much choice. She pulls out her phone to call Regina, figuring she'll just douse herself with enough perfume to mask her scent. It'll be a quick in and out.

No, talking. No interacting. At all.

She promises this to herself as the phone rings and Regina picks up.

"Emma, what is it?" Regina asks briskly, and not sounding happy at all to be interrupted from her work. It's only nine am but she sounds neck deep in work.

"Um, hi," Emma breathes out, feeling her stomach twist at even the sound of Emma's voice on the other end. Fuck, this is already not starting off good. She needs to speed through this. "Uh, could you, possible take Henry for two to three days?"

"Why?" Regina asks and if she notices Emma is breathing more heavily than usual she doesn't comment. "He's not scheduled to be with me for a while."

"I know. But my heat- it came out of nowhere or I miscalculated when it would come and-" she knows she didn't miscalculate it. She was always careful with it now. "-and, I need you to come and pick him up and take care of him."

"Oh," is all Regina says for a while and Emma wonders, what is she thinking? What is she feeling?

"Regina...?" Emma questions as the phone line buzzes.

"Sure, I'll be there. Just get him ready," she says, her voice sounding tight and then she hangs up.

With a sigh of relief, Emma throws away the phone and sinks a hand into her underwear. maybe she can manage to get herself off before Regina arrives. After hearing her voice, Emma needs some dire relief. Her eyes slip closed as she works her fingers in.

* * *

Regina hadn't been expecting a phone call from Emma before 10 am. The woman was not known to be an early riser. And she had expected even less to find out that Emma was in heat. As soon as Emma said that, it was like Regina's body was in the sauna. Everything was too hot and she started squirming in her seat uncomfortably.

"Can you pick him up?" And Regina balks at that. She wants to say no. She wants to say but stay the fuck away from me. But to say that would be to admit that Emma's heat has affected her, and Regina isn't supposed to be affected by it. Not when she has Kat. Not when she is mated.

Fuck, what is she supposed to do? She has to take Henry, there's no way Emma in heat can take care of him like this. She needs to be quick. Get Henry and go. Why is she even reacting this way so badly to Emma's heat? Then again, she always did when they were teens too. There was no way she could control herself. Other omegas in heat didn't bother her, didn't even float under her radar. But she could never resist Emma's siren call.

Sighing and preparing herself to face the temptation that is Emma's heat, Regina drives over to Emma's apartment, knowing full well this could be a bad idea. She should have asked Kathryn to do this, but Kat is fairly along by now. About seven months, and it would take a toll on her body to drive out all this way.

Besides, Regina's an adult now. She has more control over her self. She can resist the call of Emma on heat. They won't even have to interact long. They'll just exchange Henry and then Regina will be leaving. She keeps repeating this to herself so that she remains calm and centered, but once she gets out the car and walks up the stairs to Emma's apartment, she can feel a pit of fear opening up in her stomach.

_Be strong_, she reminds herself and thinks of the family she has at home, and not how good Emma will smell when that door opens. She knocks on the door and doesn't have to wait long to have it open. It's only open a crack, but the smell wafting out- the smell of Emma's heat, triggers memories in Regina. Memories of them, memories of what that scent meant.

It's like a string, pulling Regina to Emma. Tugging at her very heart. She stumbles against the door and if the chain lock hadn't been holding it only a crack open, Regina would have fallen right into Emma and kissed her. Luckily it's there, probably for the safety of them both.

Regina breathes heavily and tries to remember herself. One hand is clutching the wood of the door frame on the outside, the other curled uselessly against the door as her upper torso and face are twisted in towards the small gap in the door. Her muscles are bunched up and she has to remember how to breathe. How to think, on anything that isn't just Emma.

Emma looks similarly entranced but she shakes out of it first, taking a solid step back, trying not to breath as deeply to avoid Regina's scent. It's amazing how she's able to do that, and Regina's own lack of restraint has her scolding herself for being so weak.

She steps back too, holding her shoulders back, curling up her hand, letting her nails bite into the skin to keep her grounded with pain. "I'm here to pick up Henry." She has to clear her throat because her voice is husky.

"Right, Henry," Emma nods her head and closes the door. She doesn't unlock it, instead, allowing Henry to open it up and exit. Probably for the best. He wrinkles his nose up at her, schoolbag slung over his shoulder. "Why are the two of you acting weird?" he asks.

She offers him a watery smile. "Just...you'll understand once you get older, Henry. But not right now. Come on, I have some fun stuff you can do at home with Kat. I have to get back to work."

Regina doesn't know how she manages to drive Henry to her mansion with his belongings. Everything is a lust colored fog and all she can think about is how hard she is and how much distance she's putting between Emma and her, which her alpha side screams is _wrong, totally wrong!_

She tries to ignore it, gritting her teeth tightly.

Regina has never smelt Emma on her heat ever since she moved here, or even in any of their interactions prior to this when it was just those weekend trips. Regina knows once past the age of 25, heats and ruts die down a bit, not happening ever so often because the body becomes past the child bearing age for omegas and mated alphas or betas react to that decline with their own waning sexual needs.

Which means it's not odd that Regina hasn't seen Emma in a heat, even if she did have one, she probably stayed home before it happened for safety reasons. Regina knows, because she'd seen Ruby taking care of Henry for some days, and then Regina had to take care of Henry too on those random days.

Regina calls the office, saying there's been an emergency she must tend to. They don't question her, as she's the mayor anyways. Regina's hands shake as she texts Kat that she won't be coming back home today because she has to be out of town for work. It's a lie. The biggest fucking lie she's told Kat, right after lying to herself that she doesn't like Emma. No, she doesn't like Emma.

She craves her.

Intensely.

With a burn she's never felt for anyone else.

"Fuck," she curses as she gets to the hastily acquired hotel room and throws herself on her sheets. Her body is aching. Hot. Almost like she's in rut, but she knows she's not. She shouldn't be, and yet something in Emma triggered her like this.

She struggles out of her jacket, then goes to unbutton her shirt and pants and gives up halfway. She needs release now. She takes out her hard member and closes her eyes as she imagines it's not her hand that's doing all the work.

She strokes faster, and faster. It doesn't take long for her to come, spilling all over her hand and the sheets. And yet, she's still not satisfied.

She wants more. She wants Emma.

She bites down into the pillow and screams into it in frustration.

This shouldn't be happening. She should be over Emma already. But then why was her body screaming at her so loudly? Was it possible they were mates?

If that's the case, then Regina truly and well is fucked.

* * *

It took everything in Emma not to pull the door open all the way and lunge at Regina. Wrap her up in her arms so their bodies could slot together in a sweet ache. But, Emma was able to remember herself. Mainly because under Regina's alpha scent, she could smell Kathryn and it turned Emma off from her.

So, she pulled back and sent Henry out. Only then, did she go to her room and make a nest out of her bed. She shed her clothes like water, Regina's scent lingering in her nose. It sent a throb through her. A deep ache she never felt with anyone else.

Mates. She was certain they were mates.

Why did fate have to be so cruel? They couldn't be together. If only Emma had gathered courage faster, would she still have been able to have Regina? To come back and be with her? But Emma had solved her problems by running. And now, the method had come to bite her in the ass.

It was too late for regrets. Her hand slips down between her soaked thighs and finds the button of her clit, circling around it eagerly.

Emma touched herself and touched herself until the touch didn't work for her anymore. By then, she was a panting, needing mess, gazing blearily at the clock and finding it was already this late. Still, her body felt raw, needing more attention. Needing something inside it that she didn't have.

She needed an alpha to knot her, but not just any alpha. Regina.

But she couldn't have her. So she did the next best thing. Emma sent out a text, knowing it wouldn't go ignored. Because she could trust this person. They cared for her. And she cared for them. And she wasn't blind. She knew they had some feelings for her. Besides, an omega in heat was way too tempting for any alpha to ignore unless mated. And last time Emma had checked, he wasn't.

She's not wrong. The text is hastily answered and she grins to herself, deciding to get up and shower, to take at least some sort of break. She's just finished scrubbing off when a knock on her door comes.

Emma rushes over to the door, flinging it open to find Graham on her doorstep. And he smells amazing. Never been more appealing than this moment now. He's showered from work too, and dressed in a flannel and jeans. He's left his beard scruffy and he's got a sheepish grin on his face, like he's almost sorry for intruding on her mid-heat.

"Hi," he says, eyes raking down only her towel clad form. There's no doubt he can smell the heat on her, even with her freshly washed skin. He swallows, eyes darkening as Emma's own darken in delight.

She takes him by the hand, leading to her bedroom. "Come on, sheriff. Show your deputy some new tricks." She's too aroused to be shy and it seems her words shake off his shyness too as he closes the bedroom door and strips off his shirt eagerly, throwing it haphazardly on the floor. She drops her towel in like and watches as his pants tighten.

Smirking, she tugs him by his belt loops to the bed.

* * *

"So...Regina?" he questions as they lay huffing in bed. He props himself up on his elbow and looks over at her. She flushes and punches him on the shoulder. Unfortunately, she'd had a slip up during sex, and she'd hoped he hadn't heard it, but he had.

"Stop."

"I'm curious. Since when did you have a thing for the mayor?" he quirks up his brows. He doesn't seem mad about this, which is nice. Most alphas would get pissed off if an omega mentioned another alpha during mating. But, he truly was a kind and gentle alpha. She felt a smidgen bad for using him like this.

"I have a son with her." She decides to just spill her biggest secret on this matter. He was bound to find out at some point or another.

His brows shoot up.

"It's complicated."

They shoot down. "Sounds like you need to work some things out."

Yea, she fucking knows that. Everyone under the sun is telling her this. "I know. Now, can you just fuck me again? I really don't wanna talk about it."

She rolls over to face him and he kisses her, before rolling on top of her.

* * *

Graham stays with Emma during the night of her first heat which is a great thing for him to do. He doesn't owe her it, especially because they're not a mated pair or even past lovers. But he cares for her, and it's clear in the way he leaves her a breakfast on the second day of her heat, before he goes to work. He leaves a note saying if she ever needs his services again, to give a call.

She smiles at his thoughtful note and then digs into the meal. She feels better today, so she might not be desperate enough for the heat of another in her bed. But, she also liked spending time with him, so maybe she might call him up to watch a movie or something.

Emma sends a quick text to check in on how Henry's doing, and then goes to shower, needing to wash the lingering remains of her heat away. She can't help but feel, happier. As if her future doesn't need to be as bleak anymore. And she wonders if it's because she's fully accepted and decided to live with the fact that Regina is her mate or because Graham came through for her and took care of her when he didn't need to.

She smiles throughout her shower and much of the day.

* * *

Winter turns into spring and somehow, that single night spent at the theater together had changed things for them even if they never admit it to each other out loud. It was like they had both realized the other was too important to continue avoiding, that they couldn't even avoid them if they wanted to. And so, they stopped trying to avoid each other, instead, they started doing lunches together, spending more time in conversation when they dropped Henry off at each other's place, and greeting each other in public openly.

Their strained relationship became cordial. But while their strained relationship became cordial, Regina's cordial relationship with Kat became strained. She didn't know if it was the pregnancy hormones- Kat was in her eighth month so there must be a lot pumping through her. But they made her extremely suspicious of Regina's time with Emma.

Which should make no sense. To Kat's knowledge, nothing between them had ever happened for her to be worried about. As far she as she knew they were old acquaintances. Regina was in no mood to deal with Kat's jealousy or suspicions. Which is why she found herself, renting out a hotel room more often than not to spare from fighting with Kat over the same thing.

She knew leaving a pregnant omega was not a good idea, but honestly, she wasn't feeling very charitable to the situation. Mainly because of guilt. Because Kat was right. Maybe not romantically or physically was she doing anything with Emma, but emotionally, she felt she was cheating on Kat. Maybe such a thing didn't qualify as cheating but to Regina it didn't seem fair on Kat for Regina to be so emotionally invested in her new found friendship with Emma.

All they were doing was getting lunches together or talking to each other when they bumped into each other. Nothing really, in comparison to what cheating actually was. And during these lunches they talked and laughed and Regina hadn't felt this happy in so long. She had forgotten how annoyingly amazing Emma was at making her laugh and these ten years hadn't changed that. It had only made them more mature and better at witty banter and conversation. And Emma was a good listener. Whenever Regina would rant about the idiots at work or about Robin and his annoying fishy smelling self that liked to drop in on her unexpectedly, Emma had wise words of wisdom to impart, such as, "fuck those guys."

Regina really had missed Emma all those years. There was no one quite like her.

"Oh, you have something-" Regina had one day cut herself off when she noticed a black bruise under Emma's jaw. Before she could stop herself, she was touching it, as if her fingers could soothe the pain there.

Emma's face had quieted down at this, the smile slipping off of her lips as she allowed Regina to touch her. This felt like it was crossing so many invisible lines they had painted. "I'm fine. It doesn't hurt."

Regina looks into Emma's eyes, her sea green eyes, to see if she's telling the truth. The air between them grows still, their meals forgotten as they can both feel the pulse increasing int their veins and- Regina draws back when Graham's work man boots stomp into the office, causing the moment between them to burst.

"Oh, hi. I didn't know you did lunches in the sheriff's office," he said to the two of them.

"There's a lot you don't know," Regina says staunchly as she gets up. She needs to leave. She needs to be gone from here. She's made a mistake. One she swore she wouldn't, but she had. She was falling for Emma again. This wasn't even about desiring her on her heat anymore, because that had been different. This, this was truly the scary part: developing genuine feelings of care after she swore never to care again.

Regina was falling for her hard. And she couldn't do this. She couldn't do this to Kat. She collects her things with barely restrained motions. Emma is confused by all this. She doesn't understand why Regina is leaving. Had she done something wrong? But she can't find the words to ask, they freeze inside her mouth.

Regina gets up and leaves and Emma watches her go.

Graham does too, not understanding the mayor's weird manner. "Did...I interrupt something?" he asked, scratching behind his ear.

Emma shrugs, truly lost for once. "I don't know."

* * *

Regina screams. When she gets back to her office, she picks up one of the pillows on the couch and screams right into it. What the fuck is wrong with her? She can't have this happening. She's about to start a family with Kat! A family! Why is she falling for Emma again?

Was it because she had never been entirely over her and now that things had improved those feelings had only come back ten fold?

God, she's a mess. She needs to stop this. She needs to fix herself right now. But how? She doesn't know if she can. The only way would be to ignore Emma again but she doesn't want to do that because she enjoys Emma's company too much, and because she doesn't know if it would even make a difference at all to avoid her.

She pulls the pillow away from her face, feeling tears pricking at her eyes as despair fills her. Why couldn't Emma have stayed? Then things never would have been like this. Then Emma and Regina could have already been together, had a family, had a house. Been married.

Regina's inner alpha aches for what she could have had. For what she currently wants. Regina knows about mates, those pairs that are meant for each other and that will want each other no matter what. Is this it? Is this what is between them? Is this why it's so hard to not care about the other?

She crumples the pillow up in her hold. Why can't things just go back to normal? But, what exactly, ever was normal for them?

Now more than ever, Regina wishes she knew what had happened in the past between them. And, she's about to get the truth. So much of it, it'll leave not only her, but Emma reeling as well.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen: Everything**

"Ems, you doing anything Friday night?" Graham asks as he throws a paper ball from his desk chair into the wastebasket in the middle of their two desks. Several other balls surround it. His ball hits the rim and falls out. Emma throws her own and it makes it into the basket.

"No, not really."

"Wanna get some beers at the bar? Watch the game?" he offers and she shrugs.

"Sure, why not?" she says and sinks another winning shot into her basket. Graham misses again. "Is it a date?" Emma questions. Lately, they've been doing this 'friend that I flirt with shtick' and she's not sure if he's serious or not on the whole situation. Ever since they slept together about a month ago, things have gotten a bit more intense between them. More flirting, more inside jokes. More touching. It's nice.

Emma thinks maybe she could find a new home. A new home with Graham. He's a kind alpha, and he's available. Besides, Henry seems to like him. More than Kat at least. Emma still doesn't understand what the kid has against that woman.

Graham gets up from his seat so suddenly that it wobbles a bit. He leans over on Emma's desk, bringing his face close to hers. She can smell his woodsy scent. It's nice. A bit like Regina's. But more grounded. Maybe one day she'll stop comparing him to her, but for now, she's making strides in the right direction. In finding some one else for her. Someone that can love her.

Even if she and Regina are on better ground with each other right now, something tells her it won't stay this way for long. Soon Kat will given birth and Regina will be occupied with her new kid. At least Henry's excited to be a big brother.

"It can be a date if you want it to be, Ms. Swan," he says gallantly, taking her hand in his his and kissing the knuckles there. That is of course, the moment that Regina decides to walk in. on Emma being so cozy with Graham. Emma doesn't know why but her back snaps up straight and she's embarrassed to have been caught like this, even if it's good she's doing this.

Regina stops in the doorway, her gaze narrowed in on Graham. It's a look Emma has seen before. When Regina saw Merida touching her back in the hallways of their high school. It was swiftly followed by Emma being yanked away. But not today; Emma wasn't going to allow this.

Graham looks lost under Regina's suddenly cold gaze and Emma can feel something in her chest clawing at her. It's hope. It's that damned hope she buried long ago. There's only one reason that Regina could be feeling this way. Emma shoots out of her seat, making strides towards Regina to get her out of this room. Graham knows how Emma feels about the mayor but he's never dug deeper into it than their one conversation post sex. And she doesn't want Regina to give him trouble, because she has a feeling she would. So, she needs to explain things. Let her know, that Graham might potentially be Henry's 'father' if things go right.

The grip on Regina's elbow is tight. Emma nearly drags Regina out of there and to the roof of the not so tall building. They need some fresh air.

"What are you doing?" Regina demands indignantly as she jerks free from Emma and glares at her hard. There's a flush to her cheeks that Emma hopes isn't reflected in her own.

"I'm not yours."

She says this, hands on hips, voice solid. Controlled. She had thought she'd been alone in this for so long. Sure, she knew Regina had felt something for her. Hatred perhaps for running away, but perhaps a lingering fondness for the memories they'd had. A love of the past. But no, this wasn't just a past love. If Emma knew they were mates, then they were mates. And Regina felt for the exact same way Emma had felt.

They needed to clarify things for once and for all. Because Emma won't be a homewrecker and she will not string Graham along just for stolen moments of time with Regina.

"What-what are you talking about?" bursts out of Regina's mouth. She wraps her arms around her shoulders, like she's trying to protect herself.

"I know you Regina. Despite not seeing you in so long, I still know you. And I can feel you," she gestures to her chest, stabbing a finger down into her own flesh to feel the pain it brings, a pain that is reflected in their agonized connection. "I know we're mates. I've finally accepted the fact. I've tried to move on because I respect your marriage. But you don't get to come in there and look at Graham like that."

"Like what?" she snaps out, brows descending.

"Like you get to hate him, and be mad at him, for being with me. For liking me. You have no right to be jealous because I can't be yours."

"I wanted you to be mine." This comes from Regina's mouth before she can stop herself and finally, its out there. For all the world to know. Hearing it, brings no relief to Emma like she thought it would. It just makes her sadder, madder.

"Doesn't matter what you wanted," Emma shook her head sadly. "You were right. We couldn't be together."

"And what about now?" Regina ponders, and Emma almost can't believe the words coming from the mayor.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're married, Regina." Emma scoffs, flabbergasted by this. Would Regina really throw all that away for her?

"Don't get me wrong. I care for Kathryn but it was a forced marriage," Regina admits and Emma is even more flabbergasted by this.

"Wow. You let your mother bully you into even marrying someone you don't love?" Emma shook her head. "That's so sad, really. Maybe it was best she chased me off. I would have married a spinless git."

Regina doesn't know what to focus on first. The fact Emma could see herself marrying Regina or that her mother had chased Emma off. Regina focuses on the latter. "What do you mean my mother chased you off? What did my mother do to you?"

She can feel the vein in her forehead throbbing. The mention of her mother has her steaming. Cora. Of course, Cora had something to do with this. Why hadn't she thought of it sooner? Why hadn't she known? But how had Cora figured it out? They had been so careful. They had dated in secret.

Emma sees the look and tries to back out. She forgot she wasn't supposed to tell Regina this. "It was a long time ago. It doesn't matter anymore."

"It fucking matters to me. Because if she did anything to hurt you-!" her voice rises and she cuts herself off, feeling herself choke on her own anger and words. Emma hangs her hand, crosses her arm over the railing. She looks down. The parking lot is filled with cars. There's Emma's Bug over in the corner. She really should get a new car. But money has never been easy for her. It's always been hard to find.

"She...She paid me off to leave you." She admits this in a whisper. Shameful almost.

Regina's anger deflates. A coolness fills her. Money. Emma had gone with that. And why shouldn't she? Cora had loads to spare, and Emma had been an orphan. Still, it hurts. It hurts so much. "You chose money, over me?" Her voice shakes and she goes to lean on the railing like Emma, but she doesn't look down, she looks up. Otherwise tears might fall from her eyes, aided by gravity and she doesn't want that to happen. Doesn't want to break down in front of Emma. Because she's been broken down enough times about it before.

Emma is angered by this. Does Regina think that Emma is that cheap? That easily bought out? "I didn't, okay. I fucking didn't. She tried to give me the money but when I didn't take it she resorted to black mail. She knew I was having your kid and I was fucking scared of you finding out and so I ran. I ran from home, ran from you. I regret it every day. The only smart thing about that whole situation was Henry. Keeping him."

Regina closes her eyes, processes all this. It's a lot to take in. And it hurts, but it's like ripping a band aid off. It hurts but for a short while and then the wound underneath is healed. "How did you even manage to raise him on your own without a home."

Emma's eyes shifted warily. "I found...I found someone." Regina's blood is instantly boiling with jealousy. "He was a beta. Nice enough guy. I did some petty crime with him to get food in my mouth. When he saw I was ready to pop he let me live with him. If we ended up dating it was only because I had to, out of necessity. I needed the house and the money and he took care of me and the kid like Henry was his own. But then," she shrugged, "Henry got old enough and I got tired of Neal's drinking so I left one night. Just disappeared without a word and came to Boston to start my own life. And now, I'm here." She turns Regina, shrugs. Like the misery that occurred in her life can be summed up by one careless shrug. As if Emma's suffering didn't even matter.

"Emma..." Regina breathes out, clutching the railing for support. She feels dizzy now. Overwhelmed with hatred and sadness and relief. She doesn't know what to say, but the words force themselves from her anyways. "You shouldn't have gone through that. Not without me. You...you should have stayed with me. I would have protected you."

"How?" Emma scoffs, shaking her head. "You were so scared of your own mother we dated in secret."

"That wouldn't have mattered. Not in the end," Regina determined. "I would have taken my family inheritance and ran away with you to support the kid."

Emma blinks at her, in shock. "You...but you had a near perfect life. You would have given up your money, your family, your house, your friends, and your future, to be with me?"

Regina works her jaw. "So what, you were supposed to happily give yours up for mine? You could have been a soccer star. You could have gone to college! You could have had me to support you instead of some drunken beta."

Emma shakes her head, this time more slowly. She watches people pass on the street while Regina watches the clouds float by. "It doesn't matter. I was...I had foolish dreams about being a player. But it wasn't good enough. I was only in high school-"

"You were good enough. And you're still good enough now," Regina said, placing her hand on Emma's, finally meeting her eyes. Those words means so much to Emma. To hear, that she is good enough. That Regina holds her in high regards. But does the woman really mean them?

"But...I'm not college educated. I don't have the best job, and I'm not a perfect parent," Emma self deprecated. "I was a criminal, Regina. So I could survive on the streets."

"You are good enough. No one is perfect."

Emma contemplates this, feeling tears press at the back of her eyes.

"Do you love her." Emma finds herself asking. It takes Regina a moment to respond to the sudden shift in tone. She leans away, taking her hand with her. She knows what this is about, who it's about. And she doesn't like it.

"I do."

"Yes, but do you _love _her."

Silence. A painful one. "No," Regina admits in a harsh whisper. "I tried to. All these years I did. I was doting, nice. Trying to fall for her like she had fallen for me. But I couldn't. I care for her deeply because she's my best friend and she will always be that. But love...love in the way I felt for you?" Regina shakes her head. "No. Never."

Did this make her a terrible person, especially since she and Kathryn had a baby on the way?

"I still love you," Emma said, voice cracking as she finally admits what's been eating her up from the inside all this time. "After all this time, I do. I guess there's something about us that says we're meant to be together."

"Maybe in the past," Regina says choked by emotions. Emma still loves her. Never stopped thinking about her. "But, my future is different now and it's one thing I won't be is a cheater. If I want something I'll get it the hard way if I have to."

"And do you want me?" Emma whispered, afraid of the answer. For a second Regina contemplates saying everything. But she doesn't. She shouldn't.

Regina shook her head. "Emma, it doesn't matter what I want. Sometimes wanting everything doesn't mean everything should be wanted. But if I had to choose..." She leaves it there, allowing the silence to speak for them.

"Where do we go from here?" Emma asks.

"I for one, never hated you. Never, even if you did break my heart by leaving," Regina affirms. "Even if I tried to hate you because I knew I should. The anger never really stuck though."

"Really?"

"Yes," Regina admits and she feels a bit lighter, all the heavy weight on her shoulders gone. "So, don't worry about trying to get forgiveness from me. I should be worried about getting your forgiveness."

"Huh?" Emma blinks, confused.

"Emma, can you ever forgive me? For not being there when you needed me?"

"I...yes," Emma breathes out a small smile on her face. "I can forgive you. Because I know if you knew, you would have helped me."

They smiled at each other, shy little things, before just standing there together, both gazing out at the parking lot.

* * *

It's been two days since Emma's confession and Regina hasn't been able to sleep at night. It eats her up inside that Cora did this to Emma. Emma who had never done anything wrong, or anything to hurt Cora. Cora had just done it because she could.

Regina wanted to do something to get back at her mother. If it hadn't been for her, Regina could have been married to Emma right now. They could have both had an entirely different life. Regina had been a spineless git. She'd been bullied by her mother her whole life. It wasn't until college that she saw she could do things for herself. But by then it was too late. Things had already been set into motion. But no more.

Regina was going to take her destiny into her own hands.

"Babe, you look tired," Kat commented when she found Regina in the kitchen, lap top out. She wasn't quite sure which direction she would take, but all she knew was she needed to find a way to stick it to her mother. She knew she had to wait a bit as she was going to be prone to anger and overreact or be sloppy if she took action now. But that was fine. The longer she stewed the sharper her anger would be.

The more it would make her mother bleed.

And Regina was out for blood.

"I'm fine," Regina said, draining her second cup of coffee. "Work is just...putting me through the wringer right now."

"I hope you'll be okay," Kat rubbed Regina's shoulders before taking a seat in front of her. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"About what?" Regina said absentmindedly, eyes tired behind her glasses as she scrolled down the screen.

"About..." a heavy sigh, Kat clasping her hands together. "About Emma."

This gets Regina's attention. She closes the lap top and focuses on Kat. "What?"

"You've been spending a lot of time with her and it's starting to bother me." She says carefully and then decides to give up the pretense. "Actually, it's always bothered me."

"I thought you said you were fine with this?" Regina questioned. Did Kat suspect Regina's true emotions for Emma? If so, this could be very bad.

"I'm not. You should be spending time with me. Not with her. You're barely home."

Was that true? She and Emma had been spending more time together but only because they were getting along so well after the play. "It's not because I'm always with her," Regina explains. "Work comes up."

Kat doesn't look like she believes her. She has a sort of defeated look on her face.

"Nevermind," she murmurs as she gets up. "I have something's to do." She leaves and Regina stares at her back, worried. But she doesn't know why.

* * *

Regina picks up her work phone once it rings. "Hello, mayor Mills."

"Regina, hello darling."

Regina freezes, blood in her veins turning to ice then fire. It's her mother. "What do you want?" she questions not so kindly. Now that she knows it was her mother's fault for ruining Emma's future, and technically Regina's future relationship with her, Regina wasn't going to take this lying down. She was a bit like her mother that way. Offenses dealt to her would not be so easily forgiven. She was going to do something about this. She just didn't know what.

"Is that anyway to answer your mother?" Cora said, voice sickly sweet.

"It is, when you've done the things you've done," Regina spat icily. Her grip on the phone was white knuckled.

"Oh," and Regina could imagine her batting her eyes, feigning innocence. "Whatever do you mean."

"Some things have come to light," Regina said diplomatically.

Cora hums, as if she expected to hear this. "Indeed, some things have. I heard your little ex-girlfriend was back in town, and that you were getting chummy with her."

Regina is shaking with anger now. Her eyes see red. But she can hear every last word coming from her mother's mouth crisply. "I think I may be coming for a visit. Do get the guest bedroom ready for me."

And then her mother hung up.

Regina stayed on the phone, the dial tone blaring in her ear like a war siren.

Cora was coming to town.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen: We Held**

A/N: PREPARE TO BE SHOOK (lightly). That is all.

Regina stands on the front stoop of her mansion, Kat by her side. They watch the limo pull up to their driveway, because of course mother is so extra that she feels the need to arrive by limo. Next thing she'll have a red carpet and trumpets announcing her arrival too.

Regina plasters on a fake smile but inside she is seething. This woman is her enemy. Instead of wanting what's best for her daughter, instead of letting her choose, she's only ever bullied Regina into the decisions she's made. And now, she's here to exert control over Regina once more. On issues related to Emma.

Regina didn't bother to tell Emma about this. There was no need to worry the blonde once more. Besides, if she saw Cora was back, would she run away again? Regina couldn't risk that.

The limo stops and Cora gets out, dressed to the nines as usual.

"Darling, there you are. I see you've put some weight on," she said derisively in greeting and Regina thinned her lips until they went bloodless.

"I wish I could say the same about you, mother," Regina began as Kat worriedly looked from one to the other. "But honestly, you're so thin these days that a stiff breeze might tip you over. You should take care of yourself more."

Anger flashes in Cora's eyes, but she's always been good at hiding it, waiting for the right moment so she could strike with it full force. Regina keeps this in mind. She will not lose to Cora.

"Kat, I see you look splendid as usual," Cora switches to a cheery tune to greet Regina's wife.

"Thank Miss Mills," Kat says hesitantly and shifting her eyes away as if she had done something bad. Regina barely pays any mind to this, turning over in her mind what could have drawn Cora to town now. Emma had been here for a while, and the timing seemed to coincide right at Regina's realization that she still loved Emma and had never stopped.

They enter the house, Regina feeling stiff as a board, and wanting nothing more than to have her mother gone and on the other side of the country by now. But she needs to settle this. Once and for all.

"Kat, could you please serve us, and then leave?" Regina whispers into her ear. Kat looks startled by this request but acquiescence's to it with a nod of her head. She moves on and Cora and Regina sit down in the living room, across from each other. Two enemy generals, trying to scam the other side into losing.

They size each other up in silence as Kat brings out the tea and fruit that was prepared before hand. She sets it down, casts a worried look at Regina and then leaves, presumably out of the line of danger.

"You have a lot of nerve, coming here. To my town," Regina says, voice colder than she ever thought possible. She crosses her legs at the knee, folds her hands on top to keep them from curling up into fists. She never resorts to physical anger but she can understand why some do. it would feel good to break her mother's nose in, same way mother has broken Regina's spirit before, both with her hands and with her actions.

Cora picks up the tea cup, sipping on it. "Nerve? What ever have I done?" she affects innocence. It does not fit her face well.

"You know what you did with Emma. You ruined her life!" Regina tried to bite back her anger but it was really hard to do when she wanted nothing more than inflict the pain her mother had caused her, onto her.

Cora laughs. It's an unsettling one. "You really think I was solely responsible for Emma's removal from town? Then you are surely naive."

"What are you talking about?" Regina questions, a cold sweat coming down her body. She had not expected this.

Cora smiles malignantly and begins to speak.

_10 years ago_

_ "I think we should break the marriage arrangement between me and Regina," Kathryn said, looking down at her feet as she spoke to her parents and feeling so small and helpless; but having a broken heart would do that to anyone. They were both caught off guard by the statement. Frankly, it had come out of nowhere, but to Kat it hadn't. She had thought about it ever since that dinner. What they were doing wasn't right. _

_ "What? Why?" Her father glared at her, having a hard time comprehending this. "You like her, don't you?"_

_ "Yes, but it doesn't matter," Kat said, fighting hard to not make her voice crack, to not break down in tears. "Arranged marriages are wrong. We should be able to love who we love."_

_ "We can't do that, Kat, the documents have been signed. It's all set in stone," her mother said, a bit more sympathetic to her plight. _

_ Kat's hands fisted in the edges of her skirt. "It's not too late. It can be changed. Please," she whispered at the end. Her parents exchanged confused looks. _

_ "What is going on?" her mother asked. _

_ "It's not important. Just cancel the arranged marriage!" Kat exclaimed, feeling uncomfortable to be in this situation. She knew it would be hard to convince them, but she had hoped foolishly they would have just given in by now. To spare her anymore heart break. _

_ "It is important if you're behaving like this!" her father spat, losing patience. _

_ "She likes someone else!" Kat said, remembering all too well how she had watched Regina's body press into Emma. Emma who didn't deserve Regina. Emma who only ever caused Regina trouble. _

_ How could Regina love someone like that, and not like Kat? Kat who was good and kind, and neat? And had good grades and money, and was respectable. Not some orphan!_

_ Her parents were startled by this. "Who? Who does she like?" _

_ Her mother was by her side, holding her and this time, Kat did break down. It hurt too much to keep it all in. Her heart was broken. "She likes some blonde soccer player at our school. And she didn't even tell me anything about it!" The fact Regina hadn't even come to her, as a friend, and told her about it, hurt her too. _

_ Everything hurt about this situation. _

_ "We need to talk to Cora," her father rose up but Kat shook her head, sending tears flying. "No, don't tell Cora. I don't want Regina to get in trouble. Regina doesn't even know she has an arranged marriage to me."_

_ Her father looks aghast. "Did Cora not tell Regina? What the hell is she thinking?" _

_ "Just don't talk to her, please. I don't want Regina to be unhappy and hate me if anything happens to her girlfriend."_

_ Her parents looked reluctant to agree to this but did so. "Okay darling. We won't tell anyone. We won't."_

_ And Kat had trusted them. Trusted them to keep their word. _

_ But as often is the in the case of a parent who thinks they are doing the best for their child, they told someone. They told Cora. _

_ "Don't worry, Mr. Midas," Cora cooed on the other end of the phone line while her grip was practically murderous on the phone in her hand. "I'll straighten things up. Regina just needs to get her head on right. The little tart probably seduced her. You know how kind hearted Regina is. She can easily fall for the traps of shameless people like that tramp!"_

_ "Do you know who it is? Kat mentioned it was blonde soccer player."_

_ "Don't worry, I'll find out."_

_ "Don't tell Kat about this. We don't want her to know we are handling things for her. She's too upset to be involved."_

_ "Of course," Cora assured, black eyes glinting readily. "I won't mention a word of this to her. And by the end of the week, the blonde girl will be gone." _

* * *

_ Emma stared in horror at the pregnancy test in her hand. _

_ What. The. Fuck. _

_ She'd taken after heat pills, and she'd used protection when she was with Regina. How had this happened? Something must have slipped through the cracks. _

_ Ruby's face is as pale as Emma's is in the bathroom of Ruby's house. "Oh shit," she voices. "Is this for real?"_

_ "It's the fifth test I've taken. It can't be wrong," Emma admits in a small defeated voice. She feels sick to her stomach, but maybe it's the pregnancy. _

_ "Shit, what are we gonna do? Does Regina know?" _

_ Emma shakes her head. "Obviously, no. Should I tell her?" Frightened sea green stare into brown. _

_ "To be honest, I don't fucking know," Ruby shrugs. "I've never been in a situation like this before."_

_ "Fuck." Emma lets her head hit the cool tile. She doesn't want to ruin things with Regina. How can she tell her, when she's got college coming up? And a whole future ahead of her? Emma's just some orphan. Will Regina be mad? Be happy? _

_ Ruby's hand is on Emma's back. "We'll work on this together. First, you have to figure out if you want to keep it."_

_ That's another pressing issue. Emma feels sick at the thought of having to choose. Can she even choose? "Right," she mumbles out. _

_ "Come, let's get you some bee- er, water," Ruby corrects and guides Emma over to the bed. _

* * *

_ It's not hard to find information on Emma Swan with a bit of digging. And it's even easier to approach her best friend, Ruby Lucas. Cora finds her in the diner during closing hours. It's an establishment that Cora never visits for fear of contracting something from the sticky booths but she has a mission. A mission to save her daughter. _

_ The bell jingles merrily over her head as she walks in. _

_ "We're closed!' comes the shouted reply as Ruby has her back to the front door, picking up a stack of Styrofoam cups. _

_ "Ruby Lucas," she speaks up as she enters the diner. _

_ Ruby whirls around now, confused by who would call her by her full name. Her eyes go wide and she drops the stack in between her hands and chin when she sees who it is. "Uh-oh."_

_ Cora arches an unimpressed brow at the girl. "I need to talk to you. It's about your diner."_

_ "The diner?" Ruby states uncertainly, as if not sure how to react to all of this. _

_ "It has recently come to my attention that it's not doing that well. High costs, not enough people buying your sloppy food," Cora says, swiping a finger on the counter and grimacing when it comes back sticky. _

_ "Okay..." _

_ "It would be a shame if it got shut down," Cora said, making direct eye contact with the girl. It seemed she wasn't too bright because she had to ask, "what are you going on about?" in an aggressive manner. _

_ Cora exhaled through her nose sharply. Why was it there were so many imbeciles in this town? Did she have to do all the work? "I'm saying I can and will shut this place down. I even have the paperwork all done, I just have to submit it." And she pulled the paperwork out of her bag with flourish, holding it in front of Ruby's nose. _

_ She knew the girl wouldn't understand the jargon on it. The girl's eyes just bounce and skipped over it, predictably. She grasped the counter tightly. "We'll fight it."_

_ "I doubt you have the money to drag out a battle with my lawyers," was shot off crisply. _

_ "What do you want from us. We didn't do anything to you."_

_ "You didn't. But Emma did," Cora said and finally saw the cogs click in Ruby's head. _

_ "Oh," the brunette paled and looked horrified by this. _

_ "Oh, indeed. It has come to my attention Emma has been leeching my daughter's time away from her studies. Muddling up her mind with absurdities even though my daughter has an arranged marriage. I don't need Emma getting in the way."_

_ Ruby swallowed nervously, before asking, "and what are you going to do to her?" _

_ "That's none of your business. In return for me not shutting down the diner, you will tell me anything I need to know on Emma."_

_ Ruby tightened her lips. Looked like she would be stubborn. "Don't be like this Ruby. You and I both know friendships are a fleeting thing. Besides, it would break your grandmother's heart to lose this diner. It's your only source of income."_

_ Ruby's lips only got tighter and she looked angrily on at Cora, as if she could kill her with her eyesight alone. Sighting, Cora dug into her purse and took out a thick stack of hundreds. She placed it down on the counter between them. "Five thousand dollars, with no strings attached. This could be all yours. And it could help your diner immensely."_

_ When Ruby didn't budge, Cora added to the stack. "Another five thousand. Consider your college. It will help with the cost." Cora didn't think Ruby could even get into college, but it wouldn't hurt to give her false hopes and dreams that could be used to Cora's advantage. _

_ Ruby was shaking now, her eyes hungry on the money. Cora knew the family desperately needed it. She'd rather not pay these cretins, but it seemed Ruby was more loyal than thought. Unfortunately, not loyal enough to Emma. _

_ "She's...pregnant," Ruby said through stiff lips, like she wishes she could eat her own words up. Cora's eyes light up. The perfect ammunition she needs. _

_ "Excellent. And thank you for your help Ruby. I'm sure the business will do just fine now." Cora purrs, patting Ruby on her hand. The brunette barely reacts. She only lowered her head shamefully as Cora left._ _She couldn't believe she had just sold out her best friend to keep her Granny's business afloat. And she also couldn't believe what a monster Cora was. "Oh, and not a word to Emma, or else I may have to go back on my word," Cora throws over her shoulder as she leaves Ruby staring at her counter. At the dirty money on it. _

_ Ruby goes to her phone, wanting to text Emma to warn her about this, but she stops herself. Part of the deal was not mentioning anything. Ruby clenches her teeth and drops the phone. She hates herself right now. But she's about to hate herself a lot more when she finds out what happens to Emma. _

* * *

"But you know who actually ruined her life the most?" Cora finished up, taking great relish in the open anguish on Regina's face. She leaned in, like a viper before the killing strike. "You did," she hissed out and Regina felt her heart drop out of her chest.

"If you hadn't fallen for her, if you hadn't slept with her, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have had to intervene and chase her out to save your own future, because you were so stupid you couldn't see that that girl would ruin you. Your reputation, in tatters. You would have forfeited college, all to be with her. And then where would you be? The Mills family name would be ruined and you would sweeping floors instead of making city wide change."

Regina's hands curled up tighter as her mother's words assailed her, each a sharp dagger in her already wounded heart. "And don't even pretend like you could be happy like that. Like you would give up everything for her, because you wouldn't. You're not cut out for that life. And Emma wouldn't have been cut out for ours. So, it was best to break you apart before anything deeper could develop. Before the two of you could ruin each other. This way, the both of you still have a semblance of a life left," Cora wrapped up and they both sat there. One a confident scheming queen who had just gotten everything she wanted, and the other a lifeless husk. The clock ticked in the pallor as Cora finished her tea and set her cup down.

She got up, ready to leave. "I thought you wouldn't be foolish enough to do this again. To start something up with Emma. And I thought her to have more common sense than to come back here. But I've come here to fix things. Because you have a proper wife, a wife who cherishes and loves you. And you have a family to protect. You can't let some two bit whore stand in the way."

Regina looked up at her, eyes pleading. "Why...why do you hurt me like this?" she whispered out, because that was all she could manage right now.

Cora arched a brow but said nothing.

"Why can't I just be with Emma? What is so wrong with that?"

Cora looked down in disgust at her daughter. "You truly are like your father. A spineless git who believes in true love or true mates. The world is a cruel place. It will take anything you love too dearly. I learned about that the hard way." Cora's voice softened here, if only a bit. "Before your father, there was a man named Daniel that I grew to dearly care for. But life took him in a twist of fate and it broke me. It broke me like nothing else had ever broken me. Because I had dared to love anything so much. Which was why I vowed never again to love anything with my whole heart. Or to ever love it at all." Her mother's eyes are black. Have they always been this black, Regina wonders as her mother says something else. Regina didn't think her heart could get anymore broken, but it did. "Which is why I never really loved your father. And why I never really loved you, Regina."

Regina's lower lip trembles and her hands shake. She knew her mother didn't love her like mothers were supposed to, but to hear it out loud? To hear how little at all Cora cares for her? She sucks in a shaky breath. Cora's hand cups her chin, pulls her head up so she can see the pain in her daughter's eyes. Regina wants to slap her mother's hand away. To run away from her.

But her eyes are blurry from unshed tears. She can't even see the sick satisfaction on her mother's face. "I will be back here tomorrow, Regina. And I expect you to do something about Emma. If you don't take the imitative, then I will do it myself and you really will not like what I do. What I did last time will pale in comparison to what I will do this time." With that, Cora left the house.

Regina sat on that couch, slumped over, head in her hands. She didn't know how much time passed, all she knew was silent tears kept falling down her cheeks. Tears born of hurt and frustration. And longing and sadness.

She didn't know what to do. She had started this off, wanting to hurt Cora. Wanting to best her. But Cora had come in like a blustery wind and extinguished Regina's flame.

"Regina...are you okay?" a tentative voice called out. It was Kat, standing in the doorway.

Regina didn't look back at her. Kat didn't dare approach. "Did you call Cora to our town," she asked, in a stuffy voice.

Silence. Regina's patience shreds. "Tell me!" she roars out and hears the shocked gasp at the volume. "I...uh...I did," Kat admits at last. Shamefully.

"Why?" Regina croaks out.

"Because I love you."

"That's not a good enough answer. Why did you call her, Kat?"

Another pause, and then, "because I was worried about Emma. I know...I know you don't love me. But I love you so much." Her voice is wobbly. "I know you cared for her in the past. I know you loved her. And once she came back, I hoped that maybe you didn't love her still. But impossibly, you did. And I was scared. I didn't want to lose you because I love you so much," and now Kat was crying but Regina couldn't even feel a shred of sympathy about it. She was numb. Too numb. Cora had sucked the life out of her.

"I wish you hadn't done this, Kat," Regina states as she gets up. She feels weak, tired. She doesn't want to fight anymore. She turns to look at Kat. "I'm taking my things and I'm leaving."

"Leaving?" Kat hiccups, rubbing away at some tears on her face. "Where?"

"It doesn't matter," Regina concludes on, because she really doesn't know where she'll go. She just has to go anywhere that's not here right now. "Don't try to follow me or stop me," she warns and then disappears upstairs.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty: Dear**

In a dark room, shades drawn, Regina sits on top of scratchy sheets on a bed that's not hers. She looks down at the phone in her hand, the blue light reflecting sadly on her face.

They're all messages from Kat

**I'm sorry. **

** Please come back to me. **

** The baby and I need you. **

_ Emma and Henry needed me too_, Regina thinks and doesn't bother to respond. She puts her phone down and ignores the buzz of yet another incoming message. She doesn't have the energy to deal with this now.

Then she turns to lie down on the bed, staring blankly at the wall.

Meanwhile in the mansion, Kat looks down at her phone, tears in her eyes, barely able to see what she's typing. She's nearly shaking with stress and worry. It's bad to leave a pregnant omega behind without anyone to care for them. She hopes Regina can look past the issues and come back. She needs her back. It's been so long already. The hours feeling like weeks. She feels a sharp pain in her side that makes her gasp in pain and she tries to hold back the tears of hurt and loneliness inside her.

Cora isn't answering either and Kat wonders if it wasn't worth it calling Cora. The woman swore to fix things but she only made them worse. An old memory plays back as Kat massages her side, trying to make the pain go away.

_"Regina is yours now."_

_ Kathryn stares oddly at her parents who are sitting in the dining room with Cora there. When had the woman gotten here? Wasn't she on vacation, always leaving Regina home alone? _

_ "Excuse me?" she blinks and tries to not come off as rude. She pauses in the middle of taking her school bag upstairs to do her work. _

_ "Kat, we know you like Regina and that she was hurting you," Kat's mom continues. _

_ "Which is why I had a talk with her," Cora smoothly fills in. "She understands the predicament and she will do her best to be loyal to you and you only. She's thrown that hussy to the side."_

_ "Oh." Kat truly doesn't know what to say to this. For one, she's happy. Regina and her can be together. But on the other side, something about this feels slimy. Wrong. And she can't quite figure out why. _

_ "Aren't you going to say thank you, dear?" her father prompts. "Cora came all this way to make you happy. To assure your future."_

_ Kat bows her head like a good girl. "Thank you. I appreciate it." Her voice is flat only because of shock over this whole affair still. _

_ "And Kat, dear, if Regina ever gives you any trouble. Any trouble at all once you're married, do let me know," Cora adds on, smiling a smile that makes Kat vaguely uncomfortable. _

_ "Of course," Kat answers and leaves. _

_ It's not until a few days later that she realizes why this felt all off. It's because Emma has run away except Kat knows, Emma didn't just go away on her own. She feels bile rise in her throat each time she sees Regina looking so distressed by this. The brunette carries on like nothing is wrong but underneath her mask lies hurt, hurt that Kat knows she isn't imagining. Hurt that she can detect only because she knows she somehow caused it. _

_ She hopes Emma is alright, but she makes no motion to help. And she doesn't tell Regina. Because she couldn't stand to have Regina be hurt by her own actions. Besides, it was just a silly crush. And Regina is meant to be with Kat. They'll fall in love, and things will be different. _

And yet, Kat had hurt Regina anyways. And now everything was ruined. She should have never called Cora over to help.

* * *

Emma stifles a huge yawn as she walks into the sheriff's station that morning. She plops down into her seat, stretching her arms above her head in hopes it will wake her up a bit. "Hey, Graham," she lazily greets him but gets no smile in return, nor a good morning greeting. He has just gotten off the phone with someone and is fiddling with a pen worriedly. He has a furrow between his brows that seems to be permanently etched there. "Regina's missing," Graham tells Emma, not meeting her eyes. Emma can feel her heart stop. Instantly she is wide awake.

"What?" she gasps out, nearly choking on her gasp. "How- how can the mayor be _missing_?" What had happened to Regina? Who could have done her harm? This was Storybrooke for Christ's sake! The most that happened was escorting a drunk Leroy to prison or catching some lost dogs.

"She didn't come into work today, which is highly unusual. She always comes into work, even if she's sick. And when the secretary tried to reach her, she couldn't. Which is also highly unusual." Graham reports, tapping a finger to his chin. He is acting way too calm about this. She hates that. They should be scrambling to find Regina this very moment.

"Shit," Emma is up from her seat. "We need to send a search out for now her, and now!"

"I agree, Emma, but we're the only two in this office. We won't hit a lot of ground," he explained to her calmly and it paused her from putting on her work belt.

"Fuck!" she curses out and hits the desk with her fist. She can't have Regina being gone. She can't. What happened to her? Is she okay? _No, Regina needs to fine, for Henry's sake!_

"Calm down. I'll get the volunteer group together. We have them for this reason," he told her. He gave her a pitying look, as if understanding why she was so distressed. This was personal for Emma.

"And how long will that take?" she asked him, impatience burning through her veins. She didn't have time to wait. She needed to find Regina, and now. Who knew what could have happened to her!

"An hour, maybe," he said as he sat down and picked up the phone to dial.

"I can't wait that long," Emma barked out. And then she rushed out.

"Where are you going?" he asked her.

"I'm going to look on my own. I was once a bounty hunter. I know how to find people," she told him over her shoulder and slammed the door shut after her. She crosses the street hurriedly to get to her car when she noticed something from the corner of her eye. She almost decided to dismiss it, but decided what if it could lead to Regina? She should take another glance. But as she offers another look, she realizes this is something unpleasant. She almost thinks she's hallucinating but she's not.

Emma stops in her gait, freezing by her Bug. It's like seeing a vision from the past. Mainly because it is one. Except in the flesh. There's no questioning it. That's Cora Fucking Mills walking down the street towards Emma, nose high in the air. She's gotten older but there's no mistaking the beady eyes and the face that has haunted countless nightmares of Emma's. But not anymore.

Emma doesn't even think this, she reacts it. Her body moves on autopilot.

Filled with an anger and a confidence she didn't have ten years ago, she strode up to Cora who at first did not seem to even realize who Emma was. But when she did, a slow grin spread on her face that did nothing to stem the anger growing inside Emma's chest like a hot flame.

"Ah, good. I was hoping to run into you. I wanted us to have a talk." Cora's slimy voice irritates Emma's ear drums and she barely refrains from spitting at her.

"You have some audacity," Emma grunted out, stopping to stand in front of Cora, hands on hips. She made herself look as intimidating as possible. Cora stops too, eyes raking over Emma, sizing her up. Clearly Emma did not fall to her standards for a small sneer grows on her lips. "Showing up to _my_ town," Emma completed.

Cora blinked, not expecting this brazen behavior. "I have the _audacity?_ It's you who has the audacity to come back to this town and try to ruin Regina's life! How dare you be a homewrecker. Trying to tear poor Kathryn and Regina apart. Have you no shame, you slut."

Emma began to feel herself shake. This woman- this fucking bitch of a woman-! How could she say such things. Emma took a step forward, green eyes darkening with the anger and hatred she felt for this human. She never thought she could hate someone as much as this woman. "I did not come back to town to do that. Regina herself invited me back, because she wanted joint custody of our son. The son you wouldn't let us raise together because you robbed me not only of a home, and a family, but also of a future." She raised her finger to accentuate this point as Cora stood there calmly, hands holding her purse clasped in front of her, wearing her jacket of fur. Like some killer, proud of the lives it used and ruined for it's own selfish needs.

"And I am not wrecking Regina's life. You did that all by yourself all those years ago. You controlled her, you manipulative bitch, like you controlled me," Emma continued ranting, knowing her voice was getting louder as she worked herself up. She just had so much bottled up inside her that it was all coming out. She toned it down, because she didn't want Cora to know how badly affected Emma was after all these years still. "You forced your own daughter to marry someone she doesn't love. And I don't know why you're back here, but if you think you can chase me away, you are wrong." Emma tapped on the badge on her chest. Cora looked at it derisively. "I work for the police. Step one toe out of line, so much as breathe wrong, and I will have you arrested and thrown into jail." With that, Emma swiveled and stomped back to her car.

She felt good. Good to have said all that. There was more, much more she'd like to say. To do. Pummeling Cora's face to bloody bits would bring her countless joys. But she had to go on. Any more interacting with that vile woman and there was no telling if Emma could hold herself back.

Just as she was pulling the car door open, Cora spoke up.

"Still an uncouth brute as always. It was a good decision to chase you away. You would have only dragged Regina down."

Emma gritted her teeth and could not help from retorting. "Better a brute than a woman like you who can't love anyone but herself." Without waiting for a response, Emma got in and started up the car, driving off with a squeal of tires.

She's still fuming when the ten minute drive to her apartment is over, but she can't dwell on this now. She makes herself some tea to settle her nerves and then sets about trying to locate Regina.

Regina's sudden disappearance makes a lot more sense now. If Cora's in town, Regina is probably hiding from her. Emma would do the same, except, she's tired of running from Cora and from what happened ten years ago. She's going to make things right. One step at a time.

She gulps half the hot tea down in one go, ignoring the burn in her throat, before turning to her work.

Emma goes to her apartment, and plugs in her phone to the computer. She has an app queued up that will tell her where Regina's phone is located. She's been texting her on the way here. Stuff about Henry. Because if it's anything that will get Regina to text back it's something about Henry being unwell. And Emma's proven right.

_What's wrong with Henry?_ The text asks and Emma lets out a breath of relief. This means Regina is okay. Somewhere not in town, but okay. Is it possible that this time, instead of Emma being chased away by Cora, that Regina was chased away by Cora? Was Regina going to pull an Emma and run? No, Emma wouldn't allow her. They wouldn't repeat their mistake once more.

Emma runs the app, tapping her fingers impatiently as she waits for the scanning to work. It pings to completion five minutes later and she bolts up from her seat, nearly upsetting her half full cup.

Emma pockets her phone and doesn't answer the messages, having pinpointed the location of Regina. She's in a motel outside of Storybrooke. Indeed, it does look like she's on the run. Either that, or trying to avoid her problems by hiding.

Last time Cora had intervened, they hadn't been united. Emma wasn't going to let that happen. They were both adults now and they could work together against Cora. Emma gets back into her car, puts the coordinates of Regina's location into her phone, and drives off, feeling emboldened by her lingering anger and determined thus to bring down Cora. To expel her from their lives once and for all.

* * *

Emma parks her car in the sad looking parking lot and with some mild flirting with the receptionist, finds out which room Regina is staying in. When she gets to it, she knocks on the door and frankly, doesn't expect Regina to open it up so quickly.

"I must say, your delivery service is superbly quick-" she cuts herself off, mouth making an 'oo' shape as she sees whose on the other side of the door.

"Emma...?" she breathes out. "What are you doing here?"

"When the mother of my son, and the mayor of my town, go missing, do you think I would let that happen without finding out why?" Emma says before shouldering her way into the room. She stands by the bed, Regina following her in. Despite whatever emotional turmoil Regina is going through, she still looks amazing and put together.

"Emma you shouldn't be here," Regina starts with, crossing her arms over her chest. "You should stay away from me."

"Why are you running?" Emma demands. Regina clamps her lips tight; she will not answer this. "You know that running away from issues never solves them." Still, no answer. Emma sighs in exasperation. "Your mother is back in town, causing issues, and you just, what," Emma dropped her hands to her sides in disappointment. "You run away?"

"Don't you get it Emma," Regina said, suddenly tearful. Her mask crumbled. Her eyes went glassy and her lower lip wobbled. "I'm not running from her. I'm running from you."

Said so softly, in barely a voice at all, and yet it cuts a path through her heart. "What?" Emma barks out, the ground dropping out beneath her feet. "Running from me?"

"I ruined your life. I don't...I don't want to ruin it anymore." Silent tears are streaming down her face. "I thought it was all mother's fault. And I was ready to take her down. But then she explained to me, that it was all my fault. If I had never started dating you-"

Sudden anger fills Emma like a rising wave. "And you believed her? She's nothing more than a lying snake. She wants to hurt you. She wants to keep us apart. Don't you see this? She's manipulating you! You can't just run away and let this all happen. What about Henry? Will you let her sink her claws into him?"

Regina wiped away at the tears on her cheeks. In all her misery, she had forgotten that Cora could go after Henry. "No, I don't want that," she admitted in a wavering voice.

"Then fucking do something about it," Emma demanded angrily. "Running away from me won't change anything."

"But if I stay she'll make me hurt you," Regina confessed. "She said that she would give me a chance to deal with you, and if I didn't then she would."

"She'll try to get rid of me regardless or not," Emma said honestly. Seriously, what a sick twisted woman. How had Regina been able to grow up in that household? If Emma had parents like that she was glad she was an orphan. "So it's why we need to stand up against her," Emma said in a softer voice, taking a step closer to Regina. Then another. She wanted to wipe the tears away from Regina's face. She wanted to take her pain away from her. "I'll do whatever you ask of me. Because I love you," she confessed. "I never stopped loving you all those years ago."

"I love you too," Regina reaffirmed.

This would be the perfect moment for a kiss. Slightly messy, rough with emotion and with the taste of salt lingering on their lips. Emma could envision it, imagine the press of Regina's lips on her own. But they couldn't kiss. Because of Kat.

Still, that wordless mutual desire hung in the air between them as their chests heaved with passion and want. Regina licked her lips. "Emma, I-"

The phone rang, making Regina flinch. She looked at it, as if it was betraying her. A single text message lit up.

_The baby's coming. _

Kat was giving birth.

Now? Wasn't it too early?

Or was this just a trap from mother?

Emma was next to her, having silently arrived. She read the message over Regina's shoulder. "We should go. We're stronger together," she said, patting Regina on the shoulder and then leaving the hotel room.

Regina watched Emma head out, clutching the phone tightly in her hand. Wrestling with something inside herself, she finally came to a decision. Her face hardened and she followed Emma out the door.

* * *

The drive back to town was silent, tense. Emma kept her eyes on the road even if she wanted to talk to Regina. But what would they talk about? Everything seemed forbidden least it stir up their tempers or hurt either of them. Like the fact that Regina was about to have a child with Kat. That stung. It really did. It was still a stark cruel reminder of how unattainable Regina would be from her. Regina's got the phone clutched in her hands. She's been texting Kat like crazy, trying to call her, but there's been no response.

Emma wonders if Regina was this same way when Emma disappeared. This tenacious need to get an answer that would never come. Regina relents for now, body stiff and fingers clutching around the phone for any sign of a reply. She won't text her mother, though her finger hovered over the contact. She will not stoop that low to get an answer from her.

"Kathryn was involved," Regina eventually says, eyes hard on the road leading her back to Storybrooke, back to her mother's clutches.

Emma shoots her a confused look. "What do you mean."

"She was...she wasn't directly responsible for Cora finding out. But, she came out to her parents about how I was dating you and her parents told Cora who then went after you."

Emma lets out a groan. "Fuck."

"All this time, and Kat never told me anything. She must have known what her parents did. And she knew who you were to me, which is why she hated us getting along so well. It's why mother is back. She summoned her here," Regina continues explaining in a voice sounding numb.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Regina looks at Emma in disbelief.

Emma shrugs. "Because you deserve an apology for all that's happened to you."

"But it's not your fault it happened," Regina murmurs. "It was...everyone. Cora even got to Ruby. It's how Cora knew who were having my child."

A louder swear this time from Emma. "That bitch has her claws in everyone! And I can't believe Ruby didn't tell me anything either. We had a heart to heart about all of it, and she didn't say a word."

"Maybe she forgot. Or maybe she was afraid you wouldn't forgive her," Regina suggested. "I can't forgive my mother for what she's done to me. And I want a divorce."

Emma almost veers off the road when she hears this. Luckily, there's not much traffic around. "What?"

"I shouldn't have agreed to my mother's arranged marriage. And I don't want to keep living a lie. So, I'm going to do it. Maybe not now, but soon."

Regina smiles, finally feeling a bit lighter. Hopeful, that perhaps things won't be so bad. That all quickly changes when she arrives at the hospital.

"Are you Kathryn Mills' wife?" a nurse in scrubs nearly screams at her. There's a rush of people, loud noise everywhere.

"Yes," Regina answers, harried.

"Come quickly. We don't have much time." Regina is grabbed by the upper arm. She shoots a confused look at Emma who merely shrugs but decides she will wait for Regina to come back. Regina goes up the room, and she knows something is wrong, very wrong when she smells the heavy scent of copper in the air. There's a baby's shrill voice shrieking in the air and Regina finds herself wanting to echo the sentiment when she sees the sight before her. There are several nurses and a doctor in blood splattered scrubs rushing around Kat who lays on the bed. Regina quickly hurries to her side.

"What is going on?" she roars, her heart thumping in her chest wildly.

No one answers her. She turns to Kat, who is looking up at her with glazed over eyes. She holds up a weak hand. Regina grabs onto it like a life line.

"Regina..." she breathes. "You came."

"Yes. I did. Kat, what's going on-"

"Promise me you'll love our child like you couldn't love me," Kat gasped out, eyes drooping wearily. It sounded strangely final. What ever was happening, it was too late.

Regina's face scrunched up in pain even more as she clung desperately to Kat's hand. She could feel the pulse fluttering weakly there. "Always, Kat. Always."

Kat gave a small half smile and then closed her eyes for good as the loud noise of a flatline ripped through the air.

_A/N: This story ended up becoming way angstier than I had planned it too. Part three will come out once I'm done finishing up my SQ supernova fic. See y'all then. _


	21. Chapter 21

_**Hold me Because I'm Scared (of Falling Apart)**_

_**Chapter 21: Please (Don't Fall Apart)**_

_**A/N: My SQ supernova fic is all wrapped up; now it's time to get back into the drama of this story :)**_

Emma let out a long suffering sigh, leaning back into the hard backed chair of Regina's dinner table. "Regina, please, you need to eat." She pushed the plate forward with her finger, Henry sitting at the head of the table and watching the display with a solemnity that did not deserve to belong on his face.

"I'm not hungry," the woman said, pushing the plate back, like this was some game of tug of war.

"Regina, seriously. You look terrible."

"As I should," Regina snapped back. "I _feel_ terrible."

Emma scowled. "Regina, I know it's only been a month, but you can't keep beating yourself up over this."

"And why not?" is the harsh question, Regina's nostril's flaring with an anger Emma has more and more recently had thrown at her because she's the only one willing to try to bring Regina back to how she once was.

"Because-"

"I killed her. I killed Kat. Maybe not directly but with my actions. I did it all because I was stupid and selfish, and-" Regina chokes on her own words, clenching her hands into fists on top of the table. Emma pushes the cold meal aside, holding one of Regina's fists in her own and trying to uncurl the tightly curled fingers there.

"It wasn't your fault."

"If I had been there," Regina continued, ignoring Emma's words, "If I had stayed by her side then she wouldn't have gotten so stressed out. And she wouldn't have had complications. This is _my_ fault."

Henry only gave Emma a hopeless pleading look, one that said please, help save my mom. Emma had been on the phone with him a lot recently, checking in on Regina who was going through a really rough phase. The woman still went to work but other than her job, she seemed like a lifeless husk. She barely ate, barely slept, and she was beginning to have a drinking problem. She even let Henry eat sugary cereal! Clearly, something was wrong.

"Regina, it's really not," Emma said with exasperation. She didn't know what else to say to make it better. "Maybe you should go to therapy for this."

Regina jerked her hand out of Emma's. "I don't need help. I'm not crazy!"

"Therapy isn't only for crazy people. It can be useful for anything. Like marriage counseling-"

"Do I have a marriage that can be counseled?" Regina said with a nasty snarl. She rose from her seat. "I can't carry it out with a dead woman, can I?"

Emma was starting to get ticked off now. There was only so much patience she had for this woe is me act. She too got up, pushing herself from the table. "Enough is enough, Regina," she said in a low voice. "I know losing Kat is hurting you badly. I'm upset she's gone too. But you can't keep blaming yourself, it won't bring her back. And you need to be on your feet with your head screwed on right. You have Henry to take care of, and your baby."

Regina seemed to crumple in on this. Her baby with Kat. The only link left of her on this planet. "Catherine doesn't deserve a mother like me. What will she think of when she finds out it's because of me her mother is gone."

That's it. Emma can't take it anymore. She rounds around the table and slaps Regina hard in the face. Henry's mouth drops open and the peas in it almost spill out. "Henry, go to your room," Emma says in a low tone of voice and he doesn't hesitate to listen to her. He just leaves, in such a hurry he doesn't even push his chair in.

Regina still hasn't fixed herself from how her face is to the right now, hair messy. But she's working her jaw. She's pissed. Good, Emma can work with anger. She can't work with pity and self deprecation.

"Fuck, Regina. I thought you were stronger than this. The woman I used to know wouldn't have stopped at anything to achieve her goals."

"And what is there to achieve?" Regina spat angrily and finally turned her face to look at Emma. She had a red mark on her cheek. She made no move to soothe it.

"Happiness. You can still be happy. This isn't the end of the world. And don't forget, your mother is still out there. She needs to be dealt with."

"Happiness," Regina says the word bitterly. "And who am I supposed to be happy with? You?" she scoffs. And that, that does hurt. But Emma pushes her own pain aside, because she knows Regina's own pain is greater and she's lashing out. "Maybe this was your plan all along. Your revenge for what happened between us ten years ago. You come back, disrupt my balance, throw a rift between me and Kat-"

Emma slaps Regina's other cheek and this time Regina jerks her head to glare angrily right into Emma's face. "Hit me one more time and you won't be able to anymore, Emma." The threat is not light, but Emma's boiling mad now. She will not stand for Regina's accusations.

"Listen to yourself. You sound sick. Me, planning all this? Me, planning to ruin your family? I'm not like your fucking mother, Regina. I don't go around making plans to make other people's lives hell. And despite what she did to me, I never once blamed you for it," Emma said loudly, working herself up. "I moved on with my life. I went and had our kid, I got a job, I made sure to take care of him, and I came here because I thought it was what would be best for us, for all of us. But, it turns out this town is a fucking joke, and your life is a fucking shithole because you won't grow, A FUCKING BACKBONE!"

The anger on Regina's face mixes with hurt and confusion now. "What-"

"I'm fucking right and you know it," Emma seethes and she is on a roll now, gesticulating wildly with her hands. "You were too much of a coward to come out to your mother about us, and you were too much of a coward to say no to the arranged marriage. I bet there were other things you couldn't say no to either, and it makes me sick to think that I love someone like you. Someone who is so scared of doing anything against her own mother, that she won't even help the people she loves and cares for." And damn it, tears are pricking at Emma's eyes but the words keep coming out of her. "Your mother has controlled you for too long and she's even made you so scared you ran from her now, and you're the god damned mayor of this town! So, are you going to fucking do something about? Because Cora does whatever the fuck she wants and she doesn't give a shit what you want. And Kat, loved you and did what she did to get you. But you, you just let it all happen. You move with the tide, you never cause it. And I'm telling you, it's time you made a move, Regina. Because I am growing tired of waiting on you to finally do something."

Regina is staring at her, mouth gaping wide open. It looks like she doesn't know what to say, do or even think in this moment. So Emma takes her silence as a chance to finish up her sentiment. "I love you Regina, and perhaps I always have. But I won't let your indecisiveness keep hurting me and Henry any longer. We need someone who can love us back. And if you won't take care of your mother, I will. Because I will not let her poison me any longer."

A loud wailing came from upstairs. Their argument must have awoken Catherine. "Go feed your daughter. At least make sure you raise her right," Emma said and left, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Emma hasn't seen Regina in over two weeks since she dumped the truth on her like that. She texts Henry so he can tell her if there's been any changes. He notes that Regina has been eating more but that she has been quieter, more withdrawn into her thoughts.

Emma doesn't know what to make of that, but she's done. If Regina doesn't take charge of her life, then Emma can't do it for her and will be moving somewhere else. Graham is a good enough guy. With time, they could grow to love each other.

"How's Regina?" Graham asks as Emma clicks away at her computer, logging reports.

Everyone in town knows about what happened in the hospital and there had been a massive send off for Kat. She had been loved by many people in town and remembered fondly.

Regina had been unable to shed a single tear, unable to move a single muscle, as they read the prayers and then lowered the coffin down. She had excused herself at that and Emma had gone after her. Emma had found her out behind the church, throwing up.

Emma had held her hair back and handed her a tissue when she was done, but they hadn't said anything to each other before heading back.

"To be honest, I don't know," Emma sighed out. "She's...not doing well but it's not entirely terrible."

"Must be hard on you. Seeing someone you love struggling."

"Yea," she sighed out and went back to her reports.

* * *

Surprisingly, Cora kept out of the way for the month. Odd, since Emma would think she would be the type of person to sink her claws into someone in such a vulnerable state. But it was good to see even she had standards, despite however low they were.

Still, the fact remained she was in town and whenever she and Emma crossed paths, she would throw insults at Emma. Emma brushed them off because she didn't have time to dedicate any matters to Cora when her thoughts were consumed with Regina.

She wondered if her words had gotten through to the brunette, or if Emma would need to talk to her again. Then, one evening, while Emma was home, lounging in her boy shorts and tanktop and watching TV, there came a series of hurried knocks on the door. Her phone buzzed and she looked at it, wondering who was texting her, and who was knocking at her door at this late hour.

It was a message from Henry.

**Moms been drinking. A lot.**

Fuck, that wasn't good. Emma jumped to the door, suddenly knowing who it was there. She opened it up to find Regina on the other end, cheeks flushed. Her jacket was hanging off of one shoulder and her scarf was a knot at her throat.

"Mma Swa!" she greeted, leaning against the door-frame and smelling like she'd bathed in apple cider. Emma reached out to catch her when Regina lost her balance on the door.

"Regina what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm drinking," she explained.

"Jesus," Emma cursed and stumbled under the weight of Regina to the couch where she plopped her down. "What did I tell you about drinking," she reprimanded, trying to untie the tangle of fabric around the brunette's throat. "You have a baby to look after."

"Catherine. Her name is Catherine. Like after Kat," Regina corrected drunkenly. "Why don't you ever say her name?"

"Because I don't want to dredge up memories that will hurt you."

"But I'm always hurt. Everyone always hurts me. I try to be tough, but I can't," Regina said, sniffling and now sounding close to tears. Emma finally threw the scarf away, sliding the jacket off of her shoulders. She had a feeling Regina would not be leaving tonight. Emma would have to go back and check on the baby and Henry later.

"Come on Regina, let's get you to bed," Emma said and Regina recoiled at this.

"Stop. No! I can't sleep with you."

"I'm not trying to sleep with you. Just make you get rested," Emma assured.

"But I want to sleep with you," Regina whined. "But it's so wrong. Even though Kat's gone, I still want you. Even more now, but I know I shouldn't because it's only been a month and god," she rubbed at her face with her hands. "I sometimes think this is good. Because now I can be with you. Now I don't have to pretend anymore and then I hate myself for thinking that."

"Shh, it's okay," Emma hugs Regina to her as the woman starts sobbing and Emma doesn't know what to say to this confession because a small part of her feels the same. Without Kat, there are less complications but she hates herself for thinking this, for allowing the thought to make her happy. Are they fucked up for being like this?

Emma doesn't want to know.

Eventually Regina stops crying and allows Emma to put her into bed. She's conked out within minutes, tired out by her grief. Emma sits and looks at her sleeping. She looks more peaceful like this. How could they ever have let things get this bad? How could their life have turned out like this?

Emma sighs and gets her jacket. It's still chilly at night despite it being spring and she needs to go check on the kids. She'll bring them over to her apartment so she can keep an eye on them and on Regina at the same time.

* * *

It's only three days since the last time Emma has seen Regina. This time she's not drunk but presentable, wearing her armor of the mayor. "Emma, a word," she says when she comes to Emma's office and catches Graham and Emma trying to see who can fit the most marshmallows into their mouths. The disapproving glance sends a red flush down Emma's body but she swallows the sugary food down and meets her outside in the end of the empty hallway.

Regina's whole body is tensed so this must be an unpleasant conversation to be had. "I've given your words some thought and I have decided yes, you were right. I have cowered in front of my mother and I've decided I won't any longer. But..."

"But..." Emma echoed, waiting for the downside of this.

"I need your help," Regina admitted, crossing her arms in front of her. "I can't do this alone."

"Okay..." Emma trailed off, not sure how she could help. "What do you want me to do?"

"Just...be by my side. And help me brainstorm ways I could get back at my mother."

"Sure. When?"

"Does tomorrow at my place work."

"Yea, I'll be there." The least Emma could do was help a friend out.

* * *

A tower of crumpled up ideas lay between them on Regina's work desk, and yet, they were no closer to getting what they wanted.

"Putting laxatives into her coffee?"

"Funny as shit," Emma commented, "but too short term and minor. We need something big. Something that changes her life as much as it changed yours."

"Sell her off to some man, then? I could set her up with Robin."

Emma nods her head. "Good start, but I don't see how we can pull it off."

Regina sighs and gets up to take Catherine from the crib where she is fussing a bit. She begins to burp the baby over her shoulder. "Honestly, I don't know. I don't have my mothers knack for destroying lives."

"I'm glad you don't," Emma answered, gaze softening as she watched Regina interact with the baby. Regina noticed the look and the sudden lapse of silence Emma had fallen into.

"What?" she questioned and Emma moistened her lips before speaking. "Just...it just makes me wonder, is all."

"Wonder about what?" Regina asks even if she might know what.

"About how it would have been with you raising Henry. You're a natural at this. An alpha natural at raising kids."

Regina rolls her eyes even if it is true that Catherine has stopped being fussy under her touch. "That is an absurd statement. Alphas aren't designed for raising kids. We're meant to be more...protective of them. But not know how to nurture them."

"Might explain why you're mother is the way she is."

Regina scoffs, trying to hide the pain of her mother's words. Of her confession that she never loved Regina. Maybe deep down some part of her had known this to be true but just had never wanted to believe it. "Who knows why she is the way she is. I certainly won't dwell on it. But I sure as hell don't want to be like her. Maybe it's why I never became so...so strongly opinionated about anything, or strove to fight for anything for myself. Because I was afraid of taking and breaking like she did."

"Could be," Emma mumbled as she stood up. "Can I hold her?" she asked and Regina gently turned Catherine over to her. The baby snuggled into Emma's arms and with her tuft of blonde hair, one could almost think she was Emma's daughter. Emma smiled at the babe's reaction. "I remember when Henry was this big. I was so afraid to hold him because I thought I might break him. But I didn't. Somehow, I knew how to care for him, and he grew up alright."

"You did an amazing job with him," Regina said as she stroked the top of Catherine's head. "I couldn't have asked for a better son."

"And you'll do amazing with Catherine. I know you will."

"All I can do is love her like I couldn't love her mother," Regina commented softly and regretfully, before kissing the top of a now sleepy Catherine's head and picking her up and placing her in the crib. Together they leaned over the bars and tucked Catherine in.

Regina let out a wistful sigh. It felt like every relationship that she had ever had always ended up with a child that could only have one parent. Was she cursed to have this forever? Emma's hand found purchase on the small of her back when she noticed Regina's dour expression.

"Hey, I know it's rough now, but we'll get through this. Remember, we're stronger together."

"You must have been really strong if you went through with what you did, all by yourself."

"But I wasn't alone. I had Henry, and in that way it felt like I had a part of you with me."

Regina smiled at this and found her hand had found home on Emma's hip. It was warm under her hand and she wanted to pull on it, to bring Emma closer but she refrained. Everything was still too raw. She was raw from the emotions inside her. It would be a terrible idea to force Emma to take the brunt of it, to use her body to forget even if she knew Emma wouldn't be opposed to it.

"Emma, truly, thank you. For everything," she said, watching Emma's green eyes sparkle at the sentiment. "Without you, I would be lost in life. But with you, maybe I can manage to keep my family together."

"Our family," Emma whispered, thinking of herself, Regina, Henry, and maybe Catherine too.


	22. Chapter 22

**_Chapter 22: Because if you do (fall apart) _**

"Are you living here now, Ma?" Henry asked as he spotted Emma coming out of the guest bedroom in Regina's mansion. She stopped rubbing her eye halfway, freezing at his question, thinking it over.

"Um, no?" She sounded uncertain.

"You spend so much time here. You haven't even gone home yet." His inquisitive eyes meet hers. This is true. It's been how many weeks now of Emma staying over. Not each night, but often enough that Henry has spotted her coming out of the guest room, getting dressed for a shift at the station. Regina and Emma have never really talked about this fact, just accepted it for what it is.

"It's because your mom and I are looking for something very serious. And we're super busy. Also your mom is very sad about Kat. So, she needs someone strong to rely on." Emma tells him and he seems to accept this fact.

"Are we going to be a family?" He asks her hopefully, and this question, she cannot answer.

* * *

"You know I used to be super gay before I met you," Emma confesses nonchalantly as they're out on the back porch sipping some iced tea to cool down on the hot summer day. "Then you made me like dick."

Regina nearly does a spit take on her drink. Emma pats her back as Regina tries to clear her throat enough so that she can raspily respond, "what?"

"It's true. I thought I was gay and I only went after beta or omega girls, but then I got a crush on you and found out you were an alpha. I was kinda freaked out at first to be obvious because I thought I was super gay. And then, you proved me wrong. And while I do still prefer women over men, I find I can more or less tolerate them if I find a decent enough male."

"Ugh, I don't wanna know about the men you slept with," Regina crinkles up her nose.

"Jealous?" Emma wags her brows because while she normally tries to defuse Regina's jealous moods, she doesn't mind it when there's no one around for Regina to threaten directly and immediately.

Regina scoffs. "No, I'd just rather not know. I'm sure you wouldn't want to know about my sexual conquests."

"Well, you're the married one," Emma points out and it's testament to how far Regina has come that she doesn't crumple from guilt on it. A hurt look passes behind her eyes and Emma chews on the inside of her lip, internally berating herself from bringing it up when Regina bounces back, playing with the cup in her hands.

"Didn't mean Kat and I did much in bed. I pretended I was much too busy. And I controlled my ruts so I wouldn't make...so I wouldn't make a mistake," Regina said, unsure how else to word it.

"So you wouldn't make another situation like with me," Emma says gently. "But she was your wife. Things are different."

"Things _were_ different. I didn't even know you had a child. I just didn't want to have one with her so soon. And then I had one, and...you saw how things ended up, but enough on that," Regina swept the topic away. "I'll keep my talk on Kat to my counselor." Because she had started seeing one to help her deal with the grief and guilt she felt. It had really begun to make a difference in the three months she had gone. "But, other than you? I only ever slept with one or two other people in college."

Emma is in disbelief. "Really?" Regina must be so pent up. Imagining her letting loose on Emma all of that concealed desire...the blonde subtly shuddered and swiftly redirected her thoughts so she wouldn't get aroused right now.

"Really. I never felt the need to find someone else. I was much too busy for it anyways. And there wasn't anyone I liked. I always felt like maybe something was a bit off about me because I had only ever liked you and I couldn't find anyone else. Everyone seemed to be dating people left and right and I was just...stuck on you. So when the arranged marriage came I was almost relieved to take it. Because I felt like I had another chance to be loved and to love. But, things didn't work out how I wanted them to." She looked down at her brown drink, the ice clinking in it.

Emma's hand lands on her shoulder, making Regina look up to met her eyes. "Even when I was with Neal during my youth, and even when I slept with other girls, I never felt about them the same I do about you. I couldn't stop thinking about you and sometimes I thought I was going to go crazy from it. So, you're not alone. And it makes me happy to hear that you're as badly messed up as I am about you as you are about me." Emma gave a wry crooked smile.

Regina chuckled, though it was a more pitying sound directed at herself. "And what of Graham? Is he finally the one?"

"The one to erase you?" she clarifies.

"Mm."

Emma looks off into the beautiful garden Regina has cultivated. A butterfly dances by on the wind before she answers, thinking long and hard on this topic. "No. I don't think he is. Even though he has been the closest one in years. But, I truly think we're mates, Regina. And no matter what we do, or where we go in life, we will always choose each other over anyone else."

"How terribly romantic," Regina sighed out. She had heard of mates. Everyone had. But it wasn't as common to be mated. Sure there was the sexual act of it. But that was mating. To be mates, was to be beholden to each other, two souls intertwined and unable to let go. They would always want each other no matter what.

They had found their mate bond at such a young age, but what of it? Life had gotten in the way. Would they always be doomed to feeling this unfulfilled? Regina was single now, but the timing was all wrong. And Emma didn't just want to dump Graham out of the blue.

"Yea," Emma chuckles dourly in agreement and lifts the cup to her lips.

They sit in contemplative silence a while longer before Emma breaks it. "I think I have good news."

"For once."

"It's about your mother."

Regina says nothing, just waits. Emma fiddles with her cup. "I wanted to tell you this earlier, yesterday, but things got in the way. Anyways, I think I found some dirt on her." Regina sits up straighter, eager to know. "Using my old bounty hunting contacts, I was able to dig deep into her past and well...I think we can get her for tax evasion."

Regina snorts at this, bursting out into chuckles. Emma just looks on adoringly as Regina laughs. She can't remember the last time she has done this, and Emma soaks up the sound, glad she's been able to make Regina react this way, even if it is unexpected.

"Tax evasion?" Regina nearly wheezes when she finishes. "Why- of all the ways to bring down my mother, tax evasion?" She shakes her head. "Are we really going to do that?"

"I mean, it's an option," Emma shrugs. "Surprisingly she hasn't killed anyone, so I can't send her to prison for that."

"Tax evasion," Regina murmurs. "Of all the ways. Well, I suppose it's better than nothing."

"We should act quick. Who knows when your mother might strike."

"She might have already and we don't even know about it," Regina said, thumbing her cup. "It's been quiet for too long on her front."

"Is she still even in town? I haven't seen her around."

"I think she's in the next town over, something to do with work. But, I did talk to her a month ago, when she called me and insisted I stay away from you while she find me another wife."

Emma let out a puff of air. "Your mother does not wait. How could she be looking for another wife for you already? That's sick!"

Regina stares down at her drink, solemn. "That's why she needs to be stopped. I can't handle her anymore. She's too much and she doesn't understand words." Her mother was incapable of loving her. Regina would make herself incapable of loving Cora too. She would steel her heart, against the only family she had left. No, that was wrong. She had family. In Henry and Catherine, and dare she hope, in Emma too?

That is, if she didn't lose her to Graham. She's never thought ill of the man, but the way he's with Emma makes her skin prickle and her inner alpha rage. How dare anyone touch Emma like that? But she pushes her feelings aside but she has no right to claim Emma. No more right to even hope for a relationship with her. It's all in the past.

And yet, every second of Regina's present is suffused with it.

"Alright, let's go get your mom," Emma said and finished off her drink.

* * *

Emma should have known things were too quiet on the Cora front. For two months, Regina had mourned Kat and Cora had stayed away. She possible cared an iota about her daughter, which allowed her to be so lenient with her feelings. And then Regina had gone to therapy during her second month of grieving and it had turned into a three month thing. Cora had come crawling back, slithering into their lives like a snake. But even her appearances were few and in between. They mainly instructed Regina to get her shit together, get rid of Emma, and be ready for another omega. One which would care for Regina's kids.

Regina hadn't wanted any of that and there had been arguments that left Regina running back into Emma's arms, the blonde comforting her and soothing her until she was okay again.

So, it had been five months, a more peaceable five months than Emma thought they deserved.

Which was why she was caught so badly off guard.

She entered her apartment in the early hours of the morning. She hadn't been here in a while. She needed to get a few items of clothing and bring them over to Regina's place. She might as well move in there and stop paying rent on her apartment here.

Not bothering to turn on the lights, Emma went into the kitchen to get herself a glass of water first. She poured herself one straight from the facet and began to gulp it down, tired and hungry from her late shift. She washed the glass and was about to step away from the sink when the door to her food pantry creaked open. She didn't notice it over the sound of running water; didn't notice the stranger until his hands were around her, wrapping a wire around her neck and pulling back.

She gasped as she was pressed flush against him, hands scrambling to try and pull the wire off. But he held tight, his nasty breath snarling in her ear.

"Cora sends her regards," he told her as he held her in that position, exerting pressure with the wire against her neck, choking her. She had to get free. She couldn't let it end like this. Adrenaline coursed through her system as she reached out with one hand, grabbing the glass from the dishwasher she had just washed. She broke the glass and used the sharp and jagged edge to drive it blindly at him. She couldn't see where she was aiming but she struck gold. She could feel the glass connect with his face with a jarring impact and he screamed out in pain as he pulled free.

She fell to the floor, gasping for air, black spots dancing in front of her vision.

Fuck that bitch. Fuck Cora for sending a hitman to kill her!

Emma tried to scramble up to her feet, pulling herself up using the counter. The man, a huge hulking brute, was screaming and cursing under his breath as he clutched one hand to his eye where glass was sticking out, blood running down his enraged face.

"I'll kill you for this bitch!" he declared, blood foaming around his lips and flecking his spit.

Shit, she had to get out of here.

But if she ran, and he got away, there was no telling what damage he could do. What if he went after Henry?

For not the first time, she wished Storybrooke cops had something other than a baton to use. It was a good thing she had a taser packed up in her nightstand from her days as a bounty hunter. This was where she ran to, breath rattling in her chest and neck feeling so damned tight.

"Where do you think you're going?" he screamed at her, rushing after her. She just made it into her room, and dragged her taser out of the mess of her night stand drawer before she felt his hands on her. He threw her across the room, like she was a pillow, making her smash right into the mirror.

She fell with a pained grunt, glass showering down, and her loose hair getting into her eyes. Luckily she did not drop her taser, her grip on it hard. She brushed hair out of her eyes, noticing the glint of a serrated knife in his hand. He lifted it up, to deliver a shocking blow. Fingers shaking, she fumbled with the taser, inching away from him on the carpet, cutting her hand on the glass there as she moved back, other hand pointing the taser at him.

He tumbled to his knees with a groan, screaming as electricity coursed through his body. Still, he tried to inch towards her, knife in his shaking hand. Cursing under her breath, Emma got to her feet, upping the voltage of the device. He began to foam at his mouth before he finally fell face forward with a scream. She turned it off as soon as that happened, not wanting to cause any unneeded damage now that he was out. Breathing heavily out of adrenaline and shock, she edged around him, watching him to make sure he wasn't going to get up and stab her in the ankle as she walked by. For good measure she kicked the knife out of his hand and under her bed, before grabbing her cellphone where she had dropped it off in the bowl by the front door.

Her bloody hand made it hard to dial the numbers but she eventually did, calling for back up and an ambulance. "Yea, Graham, we have situation," she said when he finally picked up.

* * *

When Emma messaged Regina she was in the hospital, the mayor's heart stopped cold.

Oh God. What had happened to her?

The phone fell from her hand and she put a hand on her mouth.

Cora. It had to be Cora. Call it a gut feeling, but Regina just knew it had something to do with her mother. She was filled with rage, and concern and fear. Cora had finally made her move and it had been a big fucking one. Regina should have prepared better. She should have known not to trust Cora would stay silent for longer.

Regina had to go see Emma and _now_. Had to make sure she was okay.

"Henry, come, we're getting in the car," she burst into his room, catching him in the middle of homework. He was instantly off of his bed. "Why? What happened?"

"It's...Emma. We need to go help her," Regina said, too scared to leave Henry alone in the house. What if her mother got her claws in him? Sent someone to hurt him? Luckily Catherine was at a daycare program right now because Regina was technically working from home. Regina trusted that she would be alright there; she couldn't even bring her baby to a hospital.

He followed her as she snatched up her purse and went to her car. They were barely buckled in before she took off, gnawing on the inside of her cheek in worry as she tapped her hands impatiently on the wheel. She told Henry to call Emma, but she wasn't picking up anymore and that only made her more anxious.

Was she badly hurt? Would she be okay?

They pulled up to the hospital, the front street full of cars and rushing traffic. Regina waited impatiently for the light to change, clamping down on Henry's hand hard. If it hurt he did not say anything, keeping his words to himself.

They crossed into the hospital. "We need to see Emma Swan, now," Regina demanded.

The receptionist knew better than to argue with the mayor and nodded her head before pulling up some files and directing them to the correct room.

Regina entered the room, finding Emma was sitting on the bed, her hand bandaged up and more wrappings around her neck. She looked better than Regina had feared.

Henry ran from her to his mom, enveloping her in a tight hug which she was surprised by, because she hadn't expected them to get here. "Whoa, why are you two here?" she asked, patting Henry's head with her not hurt hand.

"You texted us you were in the hospital. How else were we supposed to act?" Regina said, voice shaky as she felt relief flood her. Emma was okay. She was fine. She longed to rush over and hug her, but she held herself back.

"I've just got a couple scrapes. I'll heal. I only came to the hospital in the first place because I had some glass embedded in my hand."

"And why is that? What happened?" Regina demanded.

Emma looked down at Henry. "Hey, bud, do you mind allowing me and your mom to talk in private a bit?"

Henry reluctantly let go. "I was worried Ma," he told her, sniffing.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. Trust me. I've taken on worse bad guys, okay?" she told him, smiling widely. Henry nodded his head and went to go sit in one of the plastic chairs outside the room where they could both see him through the glass windows. Regina closed the door.

"What happened?"

"Cora happened," Emma said. "She sent some goon after me. I took him down and he's in the prison cells right now. If we get him to confess, he'll rat her out and we can send her to prison for hiring a hit on my life. And finally, we'll be rid of her," Emma said too cheerfully.

"That fucking-" Regina cut herself off here, pushing a fist up against her mouth to prevent herself from screaming. She wanted to yell, to punch something, but she had to be composed. She tensed her body to prevent herself from going something regrettable. Anger coiled inside her, ready to snap. How could her mother dare to hurt her mate?

Because that was what Emma was. Even if they weren't together, couldn't be together, Emma was still her mate and there was nothing Regina wouldn't do to protect her. To keep her safe.

"Hey, relax. It's better this way. We can get her on more incriminating charges-"

"This isn't okay, Emma. She told me she would get rid of you if I couldn't. This is all my fault. I should have done something as soon as I could-"

"It's not your fault, Regina. You were grieving. You needed time and rest. I don't blame you for not spending any thought on your mother-"

"Still!" Regina said loudly, cutting her off. Determination blazed in her eyes, the first real spark of life ever since she'd lost Kat. "I cannot let this stand any longer. She's hurting my family." With that Regina swiveled out of the room on her heels. "Henry, stay with your mother. I have to take care of something." He nodded his head in understanding.

As Regina stomped down the halls, her phone buzzed. It was from her mother. Regina saw red as she read the message. **I'm outside the hospital. I saw you running to her. Pathetic. We need to talk. I believe she's made you ill in the head. **

"You're the one whose ill in the head!" Regina snarled out, bursting through the hospital doors.

She saw Cora just outside, standing by a car. Her beady eyes were hard, and her stance proud, as if she'd done a good thing. Regina charged towards her mother.

"You!" she declared with as much disgust as she could. The rush of cars on the main street, was not loud enough to drown out her anger.

"I told you what would happen. It's a shame he couldn't get the job done. Seems Emma has more brains than I'd given her. She's like a toe fungus that just won't leave."

"You're the one whose like a fungus! You are an irreparable stain on my life!" Regina shot back and Cora drew back, as if how could her own daughter say that to her.

"How dare you-"

"How dare I? How dare _you_!" Regina jabbed a finger into her mother's chest, forcing her to back up. Regina was steaming mad. She'd never been this angry before. "All my life you have belittled me and abused me emotionally. And I let you do it, let you use me like a little puppet because all I ever wanted to do was make you happy. And yet, it was never enough. No matter how I let you play dress up on me, or even who I let you marry me off to, it was never enough." Regina kept jabbing at Cora's chest painfully. Cora slapped her hand away but that only made Regina shove her now. She shoved her mother right off of the sidewalk, Cora nearly stumbling under the unexpected edge as she stepped down.

"But I draw the line at you coming after my family."

"She is not your family. I am. You must do as I say!" Cora's mouth grew pinched in choler and she pushed Regina. Regina barely felt the push. All if did was push her forwards to shove back even harder against her Cora.

"You're not my family any longer," she said as Cora went flying backwards so hard, she ended up into a lane of traffic where the car could not stop on time. It hit her and she went rag-dolling forwards, the car screeching to a halt. Regina was so angry that all she could do was breathe heavily and stand there in shock as the driver got out of the car, rushing to Cora's side.

More people rushed over from the hospital where they'd seen this happen, trying to get Cora's vitals. They hovered over her, blood seeping out from the tight circle they'd made. The seriousness of the situation sunk into her.

Regina turned on her heel and fled.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23: Then I might (fall apart) too**

As it turns out, committing a crime in broad daylight while being the mayor of a small town, is not a good idea. It wasn't like Regina had meant to hurt Cora. And yet, it had still somehow happened and a part of her took immense satisfaction from it, even if she was now bogged down by scandal. A scandal she had brought upon herself.

She watches the TV with a dour expression, glass of apple cider in hand. It's her fifth today and it's not even morning. She's been noticeably absent from office. Reporters have flocked her there, and even surrounded her house. She can't so much as go on a stroll without drawing attention. It's all beginning to grate on her nerves. Especially when she has to get Henry to school.

Thankfully Emma has been great on that front, shepherding him back and forth and keeping him at her apartment which she'd outfitted with extra locks and safety.

The news have been calling this attack the shock of the century in Storybrooke, while those who have always doubted a Latina woman in office are using this as their chance to bad mouth her and to show that she is the exact reason why women and women of color should stay out of power.

"They're unable to control their emotions. Which is why men should be in power, and do the work that women cannot emotionally handle," stated one man and she rolled her eyes before shutting off the TV. Her lawyers and PR team were working over time to deal with this mess.

She shut her eyes and let the cool glass press against her cheek. This was a mess. And for once, it wasn't entirely Cora's fault. It had started with her, sure. But it had ended with Regina making a grievous error.

Right now Cora was still in the hospital and she was claiming to whoever would listen that this was all a premeditated attack. Which it hadn't been. Regina had been mad enough to hurt, but not to go so far as to actually do it.

Emma was on Regina's side. And she had been building a case with that man who tried to kill her, who turned out to be called Gaston. He had confessed to being hired by Cora to kill Emma and that this had been part of a larger scheme to get back at Regina.

This of course meant that all her family secrets would be aired. Regina hated that. She was a private person. To have her family affairs out there was not something she'd like. As if thinking about Emma summoned her, Regina's phone rings. She picks it up.

"Hello, Emma."

"Have you been drinking again, Regina?" Emma asks right off the bat, noticing the slight slur to the mayor's words.

"And what else would I be doing?" Regina asked dryly, letting the ice clink in her drink.

"Regina, if you become an alcoholic before the trial..." Emma trailed off.

"I won't," Regina says. "I'll stop. I just...the slander," she breathes out, finding tears pricking behind her eyes. She is past remorse for her mother. The evil witch has ruined her life in more ways than one, and though she feels bad their fight lead to the scene on the streets, she does not regret it even though her life has become a political shit storm.

"I know," Emma says kindly and with understanding. "I know it's rough. But we'll get through this."

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this," Regina says sincerely. "If I could turn back time, I would have stayed away from you so you never would had to become wrapped up with my life."

"Don't say that. Because I would go through anything for you. You're my mate," Emma confessed and it makes Regina's heart twist with pain. Oh how she aches. Aches for better days. Happy days.

"I made some good progress. I'll be on stand to testify for you. I know you're innocent. It was just bad timing."

"Yea, tell that to the public." Regina glanced at the newspaper on her table. "They're calling me the mother killer."

"But you're not that. You didn't kill her," Emma corrects, trying to remain cheery for Regina's sake.

Regina shakes her head, even though Emma couldn't see it through the phone. She doesn't mention the fact that maybe things would have been better if she had. "I'll talk to you later Emma," and she hangs up, finishing the rest of her drink and glancing outside her window where the reporters still circled, like hungry vultures.

* * *

Lately, Emma feels like she's living in a nightmare. Everything is happening too fast and yet not fast enough at all. And all she's stuck doing is running in circles, trying to find a way out of this mess. Technically she's not the one in trouble, for once, but Regina is, and in this manner Emma might as well be in trouble too.

She rubs her tired eyes, stifling a yawn. It summons a cup of steaming hot coffee to her desk, Graham plopping it down as she finishes her yawn.

"Thought you could need it," he says, taking his own cup to his desk where his phone is ringing. Lately, their office phones have been ringing nonstop, the news hungry for a sliver of information in the most explosive case Storybrooke has had in a long time.

The Styrofoam is from Starbucks. She arches a brow at him.

"Figured you could use something nicer than the slop at Granny's," he tells her with a grin.

"Thanks, I really need it," she says, taking a grateful sip. She hasn't been able to sleep in a long time and it's not only because of the upcoming court case where the town bays blood for Regina's head, but also with her apartment. She's cleaned it up after her incident with Gaston, but she doesn't feel safe there. Despite the new locks on the door and the windows, she finds herself waking up at night, clutching the gun under her pillow. And in a cold sweat walking through the house, pointing it at shadows that loom too large. She always finds herself checking up on Henry, finding him sleeping so peacefully.

If Emma had much of a choice, she wouldn't keep Henry here. What if it wasn't safe? What if Cora sent someone else after them again? But if Henry stayed at Regina's he would have so much trouble going to school or having any peace. And Regina wasn't exactly in a good state of mind right now.

It why Emma found herself inviting Graham over night whenever his shift would allow, because with him sleeping by her side, she felt safer and could actually sleep. They haven't been able to act like a couple in a while, namely because the stress of what might happen to Regina wears Emma down, like a rock in water.

He notices her distance with furrowed brow but doesn't say anything because he knows how she feels about the alpha mayor and he knows better than to get in the way.

* * *

The trial arrives too fast and yet not fast enough. Regina walks into the court room in a daze, remembering to hold her head up high as she walks in, dressed stylishly. Clothing is power, her mother has taught her, and Regina refuses to be seen as weak even if her heart is burdened with everything that is happening. She can hear the gossiping rising like miasma around her and she grits her teeth and ignores it. She can spot Emma sitting in one of the benches. She's dressed sharply, in a gray suit and hair slicked back into a ponytail. She shoots Regina a thumbs up gesture and it makes Regina relax by a margin.

She can sense her mother sitting off somewhere by the side and refuses to look at her. Doing so might sap her energy, might turn her into the scared little girl she's always been. So she sits down by her lawyer, prim and proper and trusts in him he will do his job. Sidney Glass is the best money she could buy.

"All rise for the honorable judge Mary Margaret," the court officer calls out as a woman with a short pixie cut strides out in her judge's robes. They all rise and then sit when Mary has taken her podium seat.

And then, the trial is finally under way.

* * *

Emma doesn't know how Regina does it. Remains so cool and unflappable when she's interrogated in court, and when all this slander is thrown at her. Her mother is vicious and like a viper, and it brings Emma no small joy to see one of her arms is still in a cast.

Emma knows Regina pushed Cora because of what Cora did to Emma. And she wishes she'd never texted her on that day, because maybe all of this could have been avoided. But it's no use thinking of the past. Things are what they are now and all Emma can do is testify as the deputy on Cora's involvement with Gaston as the lawyers spin webs around each other, trying to get the jury to sway on one side over the other.

Emma has never had the patience for people who hide their intentions in crafty phrases that obfuscate the truth. It rubs her the wrong way, but she shows up, does her duty and though she wishes she could be by Regina's side for the whole duration of this trial, she knows it's best to keep her distance. They don't want Cora casting suspicions on her and Regina's relationship anymore than she already has revealed.

Emma's past with Regina is all out in the open, for public scrutiny, and it hurts to being reduced to a teen mom. But it surely doesn't hurt to lay the blame on Cora who caused Emma to run away in the first place. They even bring Ruby in to testify that Cora bribed her to spill the beans on Emma. It's all messy really, and more than a few times Emma has to clear her throat and pretend like her eyes aren't watery.

She just can't wait until this is all over.

And though she isn't the religious sort, she prays that Cora loses and that they'll finally send her to prison.

But is that wishful thinking?

* * *

Regina doesn't even bother to go to her office anymore. Any work she does is done from her home desk. And for good reason. It wasn't only the reporters who were being annoying asses to her. Robin's back in town, no doubt drawn in by the media storm and he's been ringing her work phone non-stop. She deletes his voice messages before she can even listen to them, because she knows that listening to them will only raise her blood pressure.

She's only too lucky that Emma offers to take Henry and Catherine off of her hands sometimes so she can kick back and relax in her house, or cross the state line and live in anonymity in some grungy bar as she tries to forget what's happening right now.

The trial is drawing to an end and Sidney is confident that they're going to win, but Regina is not sure she wants this victory now. Sure, her mother is atrocious, but it still is her mother and it's her only family bond left by blood. Should she do this? Should she? Isn't it wrong to do that to one's own mother? Shouldn't blood be thicker than water?

She sighs and downs another glass of whiskey. She needs to tone down on the drinking; she doesn't want this to make her into an alcoholic. Another strike against her character if ever brought to light. She already is ashamed of the dirty laundry aired out about her and Emma's past. She never wanted it publicized but she had no choice but to, to reveal years and years of her mother's machinations.

Sidney said it would be for the best.

Someone sits by her and she tenses. Did a reporter track her down? She thought she was safe here. She deliberates moving as the man orders two drinks, one for himself and one for her. "Rough night, huh?"

"How would you know?" she says sharply, not looking at him.

"I had many of those too. I can just tell. And let me tell you, alcohol is the not the answer."

The bartender slides them both seltzer's. Regina didn't even know bars sold these. She looks at him now and see's he's an unassuming man with scruffy facial hair and messy hair that's beginning to thin. He smells like a beta, so he's no threat to her. She relaxes marginally.

"I know it's not the answer," she responds, rolling the can of soda in her hand contemplatively. "But I don't know what else to do."

"Have you tried therapy? I went to a couple of sessions, and it can make a whole world of difference," he told her.

"I doubt therapy could help me with this. With decades of festering resentment and general messed up view of how things should be," she told him. She drank some of the soda he bought her.

"The first step is acknowledging you have a problem. The second step is getting the help you need," he told her sagely and she scoffed.

"I know what my problem is. It's existed ever since I was born," she said bitterly. "And I'm on the path of getting rid of it, but above all else, there is someone I want. Someone biology says I'm destined to be with, and yet...I don't deserve her. I feel like such a mess, and like she doesn't need that in her life anymore."

"Is she willing to wait while you get better? If she is, then it's worth the effort to better yourself. But, you shouldn't just be bettering yourself for her, but for you as well. If you don't love yourself, no one else can."

That struck Regina hard. All her life she had always felt inadequate, and like she had to fight to be loved. Her mother's approval was rare and barely given. And Regina felt like she couldn't be loved or wasn't doing a good job if she didn't have that approval. She clenched her jaw. Just how deeply had she been messed up? Her mother even told her right to her face despite all that she put Regina through, she didn't love her in the end.

Regina would have to learn how to love herself first, even if she loved Emma, before they could have anything more with each other. Though there was the issue of Graham to content with and for one petty second she thought of using her mayoral privilege to fire him but refrained.

She finished off her drink. "Thank you," she told him as she got up from her stool. "You've made me realize some things."

"I'm glad I could," he beamed at her, turning his attention to the TV screen above the bar where soccer was playing.

* * *

Eventually Regina gets used to the whirlwind that is her daily life.

She spends less time worrying about the outer world and more time on learning to love herself. It feels odd to engage in self care practices at first only because she has it ingrained in her to work, work, and work for approval. She needs to unlearn thinking that way because it isn't healthy to be switched on all the time. She needs to relax too, and recharge.

Regina almost contemplates going to therapy, but she holds off if only because she feels that should be a last resort if she fails to change anything on her own. And to be honest, this self care helps her deal with the stress of the trial.

They're in the home stretch now and Emma's also certain they're going to win. She calls it a gut feeling and Regina can't help but shake off the feeling that this is wrong. And yet, she's too upset at what her mother has done in her life to care to contemplate on this anymore.

"Should we celebrate?" Emma suggests when she comes over one night. The reporters have departed Regina's lawn so Emma doesn't have to sneak in. Henry and Catherine are asleep upstairs. Emma holds up a bottle of wine, one of Regina's favorites.

Regina smiles at her. "I suppose I could indulge in some wine. And some girl talk. I feel like all we ever do is talk about me, and we haven't talked about any issues you're having."

Emma shakes her head as she uncorks the bottle. "Nah, I'm good. Nothing to report. Besides, it can wait until we're done with your crap."

Regina accepts a glass of the wine, letting it swirl in her cup. "I can't believe in a week's time we're going to know what the results of the case are."

"Yea, this shit has dragged on for what, two months now?" Emma says, plopping down next to Regina on the couch. "I don't know how you handle it so well. I would have punched everyone by now."

"Hm, I do that. But in my head," Regina says with a small smile.

Suddenly Emma shifts nervously as if remembering she wanted to ask something personal. "Uh, yea, about the end of the case. I was wondering," here she took a gulp of wine to fortify herself. "What are we doing?"

"What do you mean?" Regina blinks at her owlishly.

"You know what I mean," Emma shifts again like her seat is hot.

"About our friendship?" Regina ventures.

"Yea...um, you and I both know we want to be more than friends...so...?" Emma gulps down some more wine. She's adorable, all flustered like this.

"I...you have Graham," Regina stresses even as her heart gallops hopefully in her chest.

"I know, but...it's not the same. We're mated, Regina. So any other relationship I ever pursue won't be enough. And I don't...I think he knows anyways. He's known from the start about our special bond."

Regina licks her lips, not knowing what to say to not fuck this up in this moment. But she looks at Emma. Beautiful Emma. _Her_ omega, and her chest clenches. And she speaks, "Emma I do want to be with you. But I don't want the start of our relationship to be marred by everything that's going on." Regina says this with levity, because finally, after all their pining and longing, they might have a shot at being together. Regina's alpha purrs that the idea and she doesn't bother to smother it like she has done many times before.

"What now?" Emma blurts.

"I don't know. But I do at the same time," Regina answered.

Emma knew what she meant. "It's only been eight months."

Regina gave a dry snort. "In reality, it's been more than ten years."

Emma couldn't disagree with that. But, she didn't want to rush Regina either into anything, even if the waiting would tear her apart inside. She gave Regina's hand a squeeze. "Take some time to think this over. To breathe from this whole situation. And then, give me a call. I'll be waiting."

"Graham?" Regina looks over at Emma.

She sighs. "I need time to break up with him."

"Are you sure you want to?" Regina queries. Emma can sense the vulnerability behind the voice even if Regina is putting up a strong front.

"I do, Regina, I really do. I think this is the only thing I've ever really been sure about in my whole life. Besides keeping Henry," she said with a soft smile.

Regina returns it and they sit there for a moment more, just basking in the presence of each other.

* * *

Emma finds Graham sitting on the hood of the police car when she calls him over to her place for their much needed conversation. The look in his eyes is defeated, as if he knew this moment was always going to come. She feels weighed down with guilt, but she's tired of not being happy, tired of pushing away the one thing that she has all this time. She can only resist so much.

He gets up from this car, as she approaches him, hands in her pockets. Waiting for her to deliver the finishing blow.

"I...I think it's time we broke up," she breathes out and he sets his jaw, looking away. Guilt intensifies. "Graham, I'm sorry-"

He raised his hand, cutting her off. He looked upset, but understanding at the same time. "I know. I always knew. What you and Regina have is difference than what you and I have."

"Oh," Emma says softly, not expecting this.

"I won't lie. It hurts, that you're able to feel for her like that when I've seen the heartache she's given you. But, I won't get in the way of it. I trust your word that you're mates and while I don't know how that feels, I do know it's very important and it's a once in a life time cha-"

Graham is cut off this time as Emma rams into him in a hard hug. "Thank you," she breathes out gratefully, feeling herself become free. "I hope you too find someone that is your mate."

He says nothing just hugs her back.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24: And if we Both (Fall Apart)**

Regina nearly falls down, but somehow manages to get to the chair, slumping into it. The judge's words ring in her head. _The defendant is not guilty! And the guilty party has been proven to be Cora Mills for her attempted murder of Emma Swan, Storybrooke's deputy, and for the public defamation of her daughter, and Storybrooke mayor, Regina Mills. Reparations will be given to Cora for the bodily harm she sustained, however, her case will now be tried in the criminal court._

People shuffle out of the courtroom and all Regina can do is stare blankly ahead, relief flooding her. She's done it. She's won. And now she'll be free of her mother. Sidney clasps her shoulder. "I told you we'd do it," he told her, smiling, and then he leaves.

Regina watches idly, catching a glimpse of the hateful expression on her mother's face as she is escorted out by the court guards. "This isn't over," she hissed.

"I think it is, mother," Regina says tiredly. She may have won, but she's not proud of this. Of condemning her own blood. "It's time you gave up and we moved on. We were never good for each other."

Before Cora can say anything else, she's pushed through the doors and then Emma is standing by Regina's side, smiling down at her. "We did it. How about a dinner on me? To celebrate."

Regina shakes her head. "I don't...I need some time to think, Emma. Maybe tomorrow."

"Sure," Emma nods her head. "I'll escort you back to your house. Wouldn't want you to get swamped by news."

"That maybe inevitable," Regina sighs out as they wait a good hour until most of the hubbub outside dies down. Then they exit, only finding a few stragglers waiting for her. The truly determined ones.

She holds her head up proud as camera's flash in her eyes. They walk over to their cars which are a block away when Regina spots someone all too familiar standing by her car. Her stomach twists. Oh she does not need him now. Not when she's felt free for the first time in decades. She will not allow him to ruin this for her.

Emma senses Regina's changed mood as if it was a tangible taste. She follows the alpha's eyes to the male figure standing nearby. Beta she discerns and growls lightly in the back of her throat. She knows who this is. The infamous Robin who Regina has told her about. The dude who harasses her from time to time.

He gets up from her car, smiling a mega watt smile at her. "Regina, I heard all about your case. I came to make you feel better." He winked at her. She tensed her jaw.

"Robin, I'm going to ask you to leave," Emma said as they stopped a few feet from him.

"This doesn't concern you blondie. This is a conversation between me and the mayor. Besides, you're not my type. Too dumb-" he made a circling motion around his head and then chuckled. He wasn't chuckling when Emma lunged at him, fist first.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed and fell onto the floor of the parking lot, holding his bleeding nose. Emma loomed over him as Regina watched with wide eyes. She did nothing to stop this; she cared not one iota for that human asswipe.

"Listen here, you scumbag. I don't care how much money you have or who you think you are, you step foot into my town again and bother me or the mayor again and I will have you arrested. Is that clear?"

"You bitch-" he was cut off when Emma hefted him up by the collar of his white shirt and cocked her fist. He shut up, fear in his eyes.

"Don't make me punch you again," she threatened. "Because next time we fight, it won't be me as the authority of this town, but as a bounty hunter, and we don't exactly follow rules." She dropped him and then let out a tense breath. Hopefully he shouldn't be a problem anymore. And if he was, she had a feeling she and Regina would be taking him on together. As they did with every problem. They got into the mayor's car, gunning it. In the rearview mirror they could see a forlorn Robin standing up, trying to regain some of his hurt pride.

"Thank you, Emma. You didn't have to do that," Regina told her.

Emma just shrugged. "I don't like the way he was treating you and I know you can't do much about him since you're a mayor and you have some decorum you need to maintain...so..." at this she shrugged.

Regina can't help but chuckle. "I swear, sometimes_ you're_ the alpha."

Emma throws her a look but doesn't refute this point.

They retire to Regina's house for now. Henry is still at school, in an after school program, and Catherine is at the daycare center. Regina doesn't need to pick her up until later. She undoes the top three buttons of her tight shirt, feeling tension leave her as she does.

Today had been a ride, and she's just glad it's over. Over so that she and Emma can officially start their relationship. Start their new life together.

Emma's looking at her like she can't believe her luck and Regina knows she must look the same.

"So...?" Emma trails off, popping a brow when she sees Regina's opened buttons. Regina is overwhelmed for a second and she almost breaks out into sobs but she contains herself because now is not the time for tears even if they are happy.

"I...I want to do everything right by you," Regina admitted, with a breathy sigh of longing and promise. "A proper date...just, _everything._"

"Then let's do it. There's no one holding us back anymore," Emma smiled, tucking her thumbs into her belt loops of her crisp black suit. "But...I was kind of hoping...we could fuck first."

Emma's words hit her gut hard and she's instantly aroused. "What?" she husks out. She places a hand over her stomach as if that could contain the explosion of excitement inside her.

Emma bites her bottom lip enticingly. "It's just...it's been a while. And I won't lie, I really, _really_, want to sleep with you again." Her voice goes low and husky.

"I want that too Emma," Regina agrees, and finds it hard to find reason to not go through with this. "Are you sure you want to-"

Emma shakes her head. "Do you have any idea of how many nights I've dreamt of you, taking me the way you did when we were teens? Sex with anyone else doesn't even compare."

Regina swallows hard, her inner alpha growling in pride. Damn right no one else could satisfy her omega the way she did. And older now, she had more experience. Experience she wanted to give Emma.

"Go upstairs," she orders, her pulse quickening and eyes going darker.

She can smell Emma's excitement and doesn't miss the way the omega's eyes also darken at that order. They've waited way too long to have each like this, and in a way it almost makes them tremble like teenagers. Makes Regina feel like she is a virgin about to have sex for the first time.

Emma hurries upstairs and Regina kicks off her pumps, takes off her stockings and throws off her suit jacket. She has no idea what she's going to do except that she wants to do everything with Emma.

She goes up the stairs, each step bringing her closer and closer to Emma's amazing smell. It's calling to her, like a lure. Hooking under her nose and guiding her, much like it did on that day, almost 12 years ago.

She opens the door and finds Emma entirely naked on her bed, legs spread and glistening with wetness. She arches a challenging brow. "Come, Alpha."

Regina will come alright. She undoes her skirt, letting it slide down her toned legs. Her cock is straining in her underwear and it aches to be released. Then she slips her shirt over her head as she gets on the bed and straddles Emma's waist. Their bodies are radiating heat and Regina can't help but rake her hands down Emma's form. She's matured. Her breasts are bigger and she even has the outline of abs on her stomach. But, she's always been beautiful. That has never changed.

"Are you on birth control?" Regina remembers to ask even as her mind is falling under a fog. She wants nothing more but to plunge deep inside Emma and satiate their needs. She doesn't want to mess up like she had. A mess that lead to such a rift opening up between them.

"Yes," Emma groans out, hands hooking onto Regina's hips. "And for fuck's sake, just fuck me already."

With a snarl Regina kisses Emma hard, forcing her tongue into her mouth. Emma kisses back just as hard, her tongue fighting with Regina's. Even this simple action is enough to bring them closer to the edge, their bodies craving each other so badly that they cannot stop the need from mounting inside them.

As they make out, Emma writhing impatiently under Regina, the alpha strips off her own underwear, cock jutting up and proud. The tip is streaming lubricant and using her hand she guides it towards Emma's slit. Her lips feel so soft and they're so wet. Regina groans into Emma's mouth as her tip pries the slit open, resting there as Emma clenches hard around her already, as if she can't wait to milk her of everything she has to give.

"Hurry up," Emma hisses, nails digging into Regina's shoulders.

"Huh, someone is impatient," Regina huffs back. She could order Emma to be an obedient omega and wait patiently for her cock, but she knows Emma would never follow such orders. She was an omega that broke them. So she did as asked, pushing in further and finding Emma so delightfully tight. She can feel her insides twisting in pleasure and fights the urge to come as she fully sheathes herself inside Emma.

The blonde omega under her cums, hiding her moans into Regina's neck.

The contractions almost make Regina join, but she closes her eyes and holds on, intent on giving Emma as good as she can before she cums.

"Fuck I really needed that," Emma said, panting as she recovered, her teeth grazing the tendon of Regina's neck. It tingles, close to the spot where mating marks go. But it's too early to think of such a thing, Emma shifting her hips as she feels Regina's rod throbbing inside her, so close to cumming too. And she wants that. She wants Regina to release inside her. She purposefully clenches down on her length and Regina's hips buck up. But she doesn't come still.

"I'll give you even more of that," Regina promises hotly, before kissing Emma again. She begins to piston her hips; fast and frantic. As if trying to fuck Emma as hard as she can before she succumbs to her own pleasure. The thrusts are short as if Regina were reluctant to leave the warmth and silkiness of her cunt. And perhaps a part of Regina feels that way, but it's mostly because she's going to cum any minute and she wants to stimulate Emma as much as she can before she does.

Her tip bashes into Emma's cervix, hard and hot. Shivers of delight go up and down Emma's spine and she allows herself to be carried away by pleasure. She cums a second time in minutes and this time Regina allows herself to cum in her. Years worth of pent up desire for Emma flows free and she closes her eyes as she releases over a long period of time. Even after Emma's walls have stopped quivering, Regina is still cumming, white liquid slipping free between Emma's nether lips and pooling around them on the bed sheets.

Eventually it slows down and Regina slumps onto Emma's sticky form, needing a moment to recover.

"That was a lot," Emma breathed out, feeling it still squelching free. She was sure if she hadn't been on birth control she might have been knocked up again. Not that the idea bothered her. Because this was her alpha and she was meant to bare it's kids. Still, Emma was more rational now and she knew it was nowhere near time for that. They had just decided to be together and yet it felt like they had already been together for ages. Maybe because spiritually they had always been.

Emma's omega hungered for more and she could feel arousal pooling inside her once more.

"Because it's you," Regina murmurs in response. She's recovered now and her dick has not softened one bit which Emma is grateful for. She wants more. Always more with Regina. She switches positions, pushing Regina onto her back and sitting on top of her cock. Slowly she begins to rise up and down, taking her time this round. Regina lets Emma do that, only using her hands to help Emma up and down. White strands slip out from Emma, Regina pushing in as deep as she could go. This time their orgasm rose in unison, their moans and pants picking up urgency. Regina loved watching the way that Emma's breasts bounced and she began to thrust harder now, if only to see them bounce more. Emma's mouth dropped open in a silent cry as she came, clutching hard against Regina's cock and milking it as it exploded inside her, making them both see white from pleasure.

"Did you always come this much," Emma asks because this load is also huge, excess spilling out of her, her inner walls painted white.

"Like I said," Regina said breathlessly. "Only for you."

They've made a mess of the bed sheets but they don't care, Regina thrusting again into Emma's sensitive pussy. Her walls quivered, still greedy for more. But soon she felt something hard against her entrance. It was Regina's knot. A bolt of desire raced through her. She wanted it. Wanted to take it so bad.

She got up off of Regina, positioning herself on her hands and knees, in a typical omega position. One she rarely adopted. But her omega screamed that they needed this, needed this from Regina right now. The alpha looked dazed and overcome for a second but quickly snapped too, her dick becoming even harder than before.

This was a position reserved for pup making, and though neither of them wanted this right now, the position still was hot. She quickly slipped back inside Emma, the woman so wet inside. She grabbed Emma's hips and began to thrust as quickly as she could, wanting to get her knot inside.

Doing all this, she felt stupid. Stupid for waiting this long to be with Emma. Stupid for not trying harder to find her. Stupid for thinking she didn't need this and could ignore it. But all that mattered was that they were here like this now and for the rest of the foreseeable future.

Emma was moaning into the sheets, her thighs trembling as orgasm approached. Regina didn't even have to struggle to work her knot in. Emma was so wet and open that it slipped right in with only slightly more pressure, and then they were locked. Every fold of Emma's walls wrapped around Regina and she came hard with Emma.

She filled her up and they both collapsed onto their sides, wrapped around each other as their orgasm passed. Regina nuzzled her nose into Emma's hair, smelling her. The knot throbbed between them and Emma sighed out in content, feeling the hot release inside her. It made her feel content. Made her feel like she was home. She looked at the clock. They still had an hour before they had to pick up Henry.

"Think we can fit in another round?" she asked, wiggling her hips and tugging the knot, making Regina groan and shot off another load, though smaller.

"Hmmm, insatiable," she breathed out, eyes narrowed.

Emma grinned, mirroring Regina's words from earlier. "Only for you."

* * *

Regina takes Emma out for dinner. It's the least she can do.

And she makes sure it's the most expensive restaurant she can find, just three hours outside of town. They get all dressed up, Regina in a red power suit, and Emma in a black dress that has Regina wanting to tear it off.

They have so much lost time to make up for. So many dates, so many hobbies done together, and so many times they could have slept together. And is it a bit ridiculous that Regina even wants to have arguments with Emma? Those that lead to cute kisses on the cheek or nose as apology.

She really is far gone on Emma and if her feelings have not changed for the omega in all these years, then she doubts they will change in the future. They're mates and she thinks they should make it official, once they become public with their relationship. It would be wrong to come out this soon, when it's barely been a year. But she knows without a doubt that Emma will agree to this.

The meal is quick, and delicious and they drive back home, sated and lulled. They're looking forward to spending the night together, Ruby taking care of Henry and Catherine for them. She owes Emma, for giving her up to Cora. Not that Emma really blames her. They were just kids and Cora was this all powerful monster that gobbled up their joy.

They pull up in front of the local liquor store, so that they can get some wine for their evening. They settle on a red, bagging it and leaving the store, full of hope that they will finally be free to love each other as they should. They've both suffered so long for it. They deserve some peace and quiet now.

As they're walking out, Emma freezes, the smile on her face waning.

Regina follows her gaze, instantly on high alert.

A non descriptive man has also stopped in his foot steps, hands deep into his jeans pockets. There's something about his face that rings a bell for Regina. The scruffy beard, the unkempt hair...

"Emma..." he breathes out and Regina knows the voice. He's the guy in the bar who helped her.

"Neal..." Emma says gruffly, swallowing hard.

Oh. Regina stiffens. Why is it that when they have the tiniest bit of happiness, someone from the past comes creeping up?

Neal is Emma's ex-boyfriend. The one she ran from.

**A/N: There won't be drama with this Neal character coming up- they've had enough already. He just helps them get to another crucial point in their relationship.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25: Who will Break Our Fall?**

"So, you're the bitch who left Emma high and dry," Neal says, looking Regina up and down. And within those few seconds of meeting, it's like he knows everything about her. All her shortcomings, all the bad decisions she's made. She hates feeling like this, having been scrutinized by her mother way too much and not willing to put up with it anymore.

She looks down on him as she gets closer. "And you're the scumbag she shacked up with," she retorted behind tight teeth.

He scoffs at this. "At least I wanted her."

And Regina doesn't know what to respond with to this, because it's true.

"Neal, what are you doing here?" Emma comes in to the rescue.

"I heard about you on the news. The case of your murdering mayoral girlfriend was big," he jerked a thumb at Regina who resents that title. Her lips curl back from her teeth.

"She's not guilty. Leave her out of this. Whatever business you have, settle that with me," Emma insisted.

"You ran from me Swan," he said, tucking his thumbs into his belt loop.

"She had every reason to," Regina cut in. "And she's leaving again." Regina snatched up Emma's hand in her own and tugged to get her to leave. The inner alpha was feeling possessive and protective inside her. She had just finally gotten Emma back. She would not be losing her to some ex of hers!

But Emma surprisingly refused to move. Regina glanced behind her, betrayed. "Emma...?"

"I need to talk to Neal. Straighten some things out between us."

"But-"

"I'll be fine," Emma promised, pulling free of Regina's hand. "You've seen my right hook in action. Don't doubt I can't handle myself."

Regina gave a short terse nod of her head but she was reluctant to leave the scene. What if Emma wanted to get back with Neal? Grinding her teeth together she left, before her jealousy made her do something dumb.

Still, she had to fight with herself not to turn back and intervene. Instead she sat behind the wheel of her car, tapping her fingers on the wheel.

Emma remained with Neal, the man giving her a smirk as if he'd won the battle. But he hadn't won anything. "Why are you here, Neal?" she asked tiredly. She thought that Regina and her would finally be left alone. And yet, another issue had popped up. Would they ever manage to be together peacefully?

"Like I said. Saw you in the news and came to see you. You up and left me Swan, without a word. That hurt. I thought you loved me," he said, placing a hand over his chest.

"It wasn't like that," she shook her head, moving back as he tried to reach out for her. "I liked you, I did. But you were an asshole to me. And you drank. That wasn't a good place for me and Henry to be."

He furrowed his brow, not understanding this. "I cared for you. I took you in when no one else would."

"And I thank you for that. I do. But you were no saint. And I thought it was time I left, so I wouldn't bother you anymore. And this is where I'm staying. This is my home Neal."

He worked his jaw, the levity from before gone. "I'm not here to take you back, Emma. I have a girlfriend and I don't drink anymore. I'm...better. Which is why I thought I'd check in on you and Henry."

Her skin prickled. Why was he bringing her son into this?

"What about Henry?"

"Don't I get to see him? To get a say in his future?"

"You're not his biological father," she pointed out, not liking where this was going.

"But I did raise him for five years, Emma. I deserve to know what he's up to. And he needs a proper man to look up to. He won't get that from you or Regina."

"Looking up to you?" Emma snorted. "Pass. And he doesn't need a man. This isn't the 50s."

"A boy needs a man. It's just come sense," he insisted.

"And I refuse. Henry doesn't want to see you. He barely remembers you."

"Shouldn't he be the judge of that?" Neal questioned.

Seriously, what was this bullshit? Why was it when she felt just a sliver of happiness, it had to be ruined. "Why do you care so much? Do you want money? Fame? What are you really after Neal?"

Neal let out a long sigh; she knew he'd had superior motives!

"Look...Tink, my girlfriend, wants to-"

Emma puts up a hand, stopping him. "Neal, honestly, this is the worst time possible for us to get into this. Regina just went through a shitty trial against her mother, and she lost her wife. I'm helping her pick up the pieces but I'm not all fine and dandy either. I went through some shit because of her mother and some of those scars don't just heal easily."

He swallows, averting his eyes guiltily. "It's a no then. To the olive branch I'm extending."

"It's a no for now. I appreciate that you're trying to make yourself a better person but right now...I can't. We can't do this."

"Could I at least see Henry once? I came to this town, all the way. I'd like to properly say hello to the kiddo."

And she can't say no to this, because she'd be a huge asshole. She nods her head. "I'll talk about it with Regina and we'll see when we can do something like that."

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me just yet," she said and spun on her heel to go back to where Regina was waiting for her. The alpha is tensed up behind the wheel. Emma just gets in when Regina asks, "and?"

"I talked with him. He just wants to say goodbye to Henry is all. I told him no to anything else."

"And we can just trust him?" Regina scoffs, dark eyes dancing with ire.

"He's better now. And I'll be there, watching over the meeting. I can handle myself," she flexes her biceps playfully.

The muscle distracts her a bit from her anger and Regina is able to relax a bit.

"Don't worry, Neal won't be bothering us," Emma informed Regina. "No one will. I'll make sure of that. We fought too hard to be here. To get to what we have."

Regina rose up and embraced Emma against her. The omega was shaking slightly. She had been more affected by her encounter with Neal than she'd let on. "I know. And I won't let anything bad happen either. I'm going to protect us, no matter what or from whom. I'm done hiding." She whispered, hugging Emma fiercely to her.

She had been a coward for so long. Afraid to love others; afraid to fight for that love. No more. She was taking the right step in her life. Her own step forward in life. Struck by a sudden whim, she pulls away from Emma. "I want us to start a new life. I want us to move and go somewhere else."

Her words hit Emma hard, given her wide eyes. "You can't be serious."

"I am," Regina says, and she realizes, despite it being a whim, she is serious. "I'm not running away. I'm choosing to move away. I want a different town, one that doesn't hold so many bad memories for us. And I want a different job. I only went into politics because my mother wanted that. I want something else."

"Like what?"

Regina shakes her head. "I don't know yet. But I can't wait to figure it out."

"Alright then, let's move," Emma said.

"Really?"

"Yea. I don't mind. Storybrooke isn't really home. Home is where you, Henry, and Catherine are," Emma said, green eyes sparkling with so much love that it almost choked Regina with the heaviness of it.

She curses herself once more for being such a coward. For not fighting harder for Emma before.

"Okay then. Let's do it." She squeezes Emma's hand in hers. And they take that giant leap, to rewrite their story the way they want it to be.

* * *

_Two years later_

The house was quiet this early on a Saturday morning but it was the only time that Regina and Emma had to themselves. With Catherine older now, she had a proclivity for waking up and making a mess if unsupervised. She was a little troublemaker and she did it all with a smile. It made Regina soft to see her like this, if only because she recalled a time when she and Kat had been younger and Kat had been mischievous too, before their parents insisted on instilling decorum into them. On sucking all the life and joy out of them.

Emma, normally a loud moaner, had her face muffled into the pillows to cover up her cries so as not to wake up the kids. Regina thrust into her from behind, both of them already so close due to being too busy to spend time like this before.

Emma's thighs shook and she groaned as she came, Regina not far behind her. Regina pulled out and flopped free from Emma and pulled the covers up over their naked forms.

As they lay there in bed, Emma let her fingers linger over the mating mark that Regina had given her. The scar was still fresh and it sent a tingle through her every time she ran her fingers over it. So much had changed in two years and for the better. They'd moved to a small town in Colorado. Emma had found a job at the police station as the secretary- no more dangerous chases for her per Regina's orders, especially because they had a family.

Regina meanwhile worked as a consultant in the government offices while pursuing a degree in Education. Turns out she wanted to be an ESL teacher, helping students who were bilingual. Henry had adjusted nicely to the middle school here and he was off with his friends now in the library doing work. Catherine seemed to think Emma was her mother, which was fine for the time being, but they would need to tell her the truth when she was older. Much older.

Still, Emma loved her like she was her own, and she could feel the omega inside her asking for more. She wanted to add to their family. And she figured, it might be time to do that. She turned to Regina who had an arm thrown over her head and was still regaining her breath.

"Do you think it's time?" she asked her and Regina turned to look at her.

"Time for what?"

"For another kid. One, that this time we can both raise together, how we were meant to raise Henry."

Regina exhaled lightly. "If that is what you want, then yes."

"Do you want this too?" Emma asked, needing to make sure she wasn't alone in this.

Regina turned in to face Emma and smiled. She was certain. This time, she was ready. "Yes, Emma." She stroked a hand down her cheek and they shared one more kiss.

**A/N: I'm ending the story here. I don't want the plot to drag on so I'm wrapping it up. I think they're at a good point where they are a family again. **

** That said, I will be writing yet another a/b/o fic. This one will be called _If our Love is Twisted, Let's Make it Sacred _which will come out some time in November/December depending on what my schedule allows. **


End file.
